liongteck's blog

... Dahh-h?

2011-11-29T20:48:00.003+08:00

"To be or not to be, that's the question."

"Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer."

"E=mc2"

bla bla bla bla bla...

Just wasting some time here while waiting for my friends asking me out for a dinner.
It has really been a long time since I typed a word here.
Well, the feeling is still great with those moving fingers on the keyboards pressing on the buttons creating those sounds.
Only that this time, I just can't bluntly type any words in mind :P

I am exhausted but pretty much satisfied.
The exam is just a week far from now and I am still busy with my current audit work.
But at least all the extra time has been filled up, in a good way :D.
Time of freedom is definitely restricted, which mean lesser or almost no time to play since I have to juggle from work to study :(
But at least, none are wasted like before.

Human will learn to appreciate when things get lesser or gone.
That's what I am experience right now.
I've been trying to squeeze as much time as I could since I start to work.
As you know, for work, studies, rest and even playing :D.
Yes, playing. I am not sure if I've ever mentioned in here before, one my principle would be, if you worked hard, then played hard! haha!
Dont feel like missing out any fun event with my friends and recently I am craze for badminton.
I am originally a sportsman, what I mean is a guy who loves to sport and badminton is one of my favourite.

Life is meant to be enjoyed - Love the statement and you should too.
Experience what you hate, know what you love, enjoy what you live, then forget what you hate :)

Phone rings! It's time to fill up my stomach.
Order me a horse! =X

An urge to write

2011-11-16T23:39:00.002+08:00

"Sometimes know nothing is better than know everything"
That statement seems to be very popular among my friend's lists in the Facebook these days.
Old words, old fact, old knowledge.
But I gotta admit that I do agree with this.
Sometimes,.. just sometimes.

Human's curiosity is not meant to be underestimated.
Like how the Eve was cheated by the Evil to eat the apple on the tree then knowing the shamefulness in the world.
Everything was just out of the curiosity.
Especially if you care.. it hurts.

ARhhhh! Anyway, year 2011 is going to be over.
I gonna do something for myself :)
A big plan for turning everything around in the year 2012.
It's going to be a new Liongteck! HAH!!!!

RE: To one of the many stars

2011-08-28T04:37:00.005+08:00

I think I found a person who is even more difficult to be served.
If it's because of the clashing of opinions or thought then I have got nothing to say but who decide that?
I would say, no, there's nothing wrong in expressing how you feel.
You may feel that you are being see-through by other people or feel offended but that's your point of view.
How bout others??

There are countless type of people in the world.
I actually learnt that some people are really willing to help without any payback.
Some people do really care about how the people around him or her feel regarding their act.
You may have offended them for not telling them that they may have hurt your feeling until they found out someday later after done the same thing for many times.
What do you think may happen in the end? - What kind of situation you may put them in?
Worst still , with your accumulated hate and anger, you may have leave him or her for a reason that you yourself may not even know how to tell.
I tell you, you don't know how and I bet you dont even know yourself in the end too.

In my thought, why not? just be straight and tell them. If they care, you know what to do. If no, I don't think you wont be in any loss as well.
For yours and theirs own sake.

If you guys think I am talking about me, think again.
I have a lot of stories on my own but I've decided to lock them out from here a long time.
Like what my cousin had told me once, "Mind your own business".
You can't serve everyone in the world, how the others think that their own business.
I do care how the others think of me too but I know I am changing.
There's always a theory on how you wanna live. That's called the science of life.
I know you don't like to burden somebody else like I do.
For me, I categorised people around me.
Families, true friends, friends and by-passer.

Who doesn't want to be loved?
Sometimes I may hold back on my true friends and definitely the friends and the by-passers but never on families.
I always want them to dig into me and let them know that I want to be loved and I love them as well.

Oh, btw, for the note, I always treat my love one as a part of me and that would means family :)

2011-06-17T15:12:00.002+08:00

First of all, yeah~ I am back to my own hometown already.
Seriously speaking, I dont feel as excited as I thought I should be.
Too many things happened around me in the past few months.
Too many things need to be handled and accepted and I expect more coming in the future.

I think if it's not because of the tiredness, i might have just lost the sense of the excitement already :)
Since the day I'm back here, I've been trying very hard to make myself happy.
I did everything I could, I avoid everything I should.
No matter how hard I forced a smile on my face, it just doesnt feel right.

That's the reason when I don't update my blog at all :)
Because since when I've decided to come back here, there is a little determination of mine said that maybe I shouldnt let the others see how weak I am anymore.
Maybe I should not write anything sad here anymore.
It doesn't matter if a zero wears a hero's costume, what does matter is no one can see what is inside.
But I'm a Gemini, what else can I say?
When things get unbearable, I still choose to talk to the machine.

X-MEN:First Class

2011-06-07T10:53:00.005+08:00

Has any of you watched this yet?

For God sake, go and watch this.

This is awesome!!!

If I have 3 thumbs, I definitely would raise 3 of them up!!

X-MEN : First Class.

Like how the movie is named, it's about the first class or the first generation of the X-Men.

Don't understand? How bout this, it's about when the physic man , Professor X and the super villain magnet man, Magneto when they were still teenager?

That's when the Professor X(Charles Xavier) and Magneto(Erik Lehnsherr) started to gather every mutants in the world and work together to prevent the Nuclear War.

That's before the Magneto went bad and the Professor X went bald =X. Hehe~

You know what I think? I think the real villain are the human in there. Agree?

I watched the movie last Saturday.

It's far far far far FARRR better than I expected.

You see, there is one of my friend think that the movie wont be any good since it was about the past and bla bla bla ..

At first I don't think like he did, but you know in the end, more or less you will get affected by your friend's words.

So honestly, part of my mind told me that, maybe I can see just get myself a DVD and watch it at home instead of wasting the money in the cinema.

Tell you what, LUCKILY I DID NOT DO SO!! Phew, I am about to miss one wonderful date with an awesome movie in the cinema ok??!!

I swear I will never make a pass on any Marvel movie ever again!!

I love those super heroes. I mean who doesn't??

Tell me, you never think of how nice it would be if you have those super powers?

I love every hero in the Marvel.

Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Ironman, The Incredible Hulk and etc.

Does anyone still remember The Flash? The fastest hero among them? LOL.

The Green Lantern will be released in this month!! And the Captain America will be on the coming July.

Who is going with me??!! You buy me the ticket and I can get you popcorn. :P

Happy Duan Wu Jie

2011-06-06T10:01:00.004+08:00

Yeap~ Today is the actual day of the Duan Wu Jie which I called Zhong Zhi Jie ( aka Dumpling Day if direct translated from the Chinese).
I wonder what is it called in English, Dragon Boat Festival perhaps? I'm not sure. LOL!!
Anyway, let's stick to the Dumpling Day then. :P

Like how it is called, today is the day we Chinese eat dumpling or know as zhong zhi in Chinese.

Taken from the Google

This is how the inside looks like (taken from the Google)

Ask me if I like it? Hmmm, I would say yes and no. HAHA!!
Why? When I was a kid, I had some of them which the taste were so superb that still making me drop my saliva even by think of it.
However, after that I don't think I had any which is as nice as that one again.
Well, like how some people said, don't ever try to sit in a Mercedes cause you won't like to drive your own Perodua Kenari again. Now, got what I mean ?
I've tasted the best dumpling in the world before, so I wont say any other dumplings are good if the taste is not comparable to the one I had. :P
But of course I still had some for the past years because I believe you have to do what should we do in order to celebrate the occasion. :D
Because it makes me feel that I am a part of the celebration.

Like new clothes and firecrakers for the Chinese New Year, so, dumplings for the Dumpling days ^^.

Oh ya, if I am not mistaken, some places celebrate the day by organizing the dragon boat racing.

Taken from the Google

I've never seen any before but honestly to tell you guys, I don't really have any interest in it. = /

If my memory serves me right, I think when I was still a kid there was once or maybe few times the racing were organized in my hometown, Sibu.

I didn't get to see any of them since there were to many people were watching. LOL!

I was told by my sis that, the Singaporean celebrate the day by throwing the dumpling into the river.

Wanna know why? Let me tell you.

There was once a person called Qu Yuan from China who was wrongly accused of being a traitor who had betrayed his country.

Then he committed suicide by jumping into the deep river to prove his own innocence.

In order to prevent the fishes in the river to eat away the corpse, the villagers throw the dumplings into the river in hoping that the fishes would eat the dumpling instead.

And the tradition continued till this day in some places :).

He must be really a kind person eh?

I was told the story by someone I forgot who but I got the name by Googling it ( now you see how useful is the Google) , HEHE!

Anyway, I don't think I will be having any dumpling this year :(.

I am not going back to be reunited with my families for today.

BECAUSE I STILL HAVE AN EXAM TO ATTEND ON THIS NOON!!Arghh! Pressure! pressure whenever I think about this.

Don't ask me how is my revision already and obviously I am taking a short break from it to write something about the day.

I think it's time :(, I can already hear the bells are ringing like reminding me that the break is over. SADDD!!!

Anyway, Happy Duan Wu Jie guys and girls :)

Have a happy one, my families, beloved friends and of course you too, whoever are reading my this.

Love you, Baby Tiong.

Tears from my heart.

2011-05-28T04:28:00.003+08:00

Stick by stick, packs by packs.
I start to wonder why am I inhaling this much nicotine these days.
I mean more than the normal days do. Much more.
I thought I've decided to quit smoking this year or maybe even reduce the amount of taking it.
Sigh.
I don't feel nicer by smoking this much, but why?
I guess I am just trying to keep myself busy and trying to keep myself awake.
I am exhausted, very very tired. But I really don't feel like sleeping at all.
It makes me think a lot.

Wonder when it started.
I mean when I am afraid of being alone.
People around me is leaving one by one.
Am I that bad? ...

Whenever they parted with me, my mood will be dropped to the lowest point.
Most of the time I almost burst myself into tears.
I am all alone again, that's what I think.

I seriously need a person company me by my side.
At least talk to me.
I am willing to put on the mask and pretend to laugh at your joke no matter how cold it is.
I think that's the reason why I've been trying very hard to keep my friend by my side all the time.

I just got back from the supper.
As soon as I know my friends had finished their exam, I asked them to do something together.
Trying hard to please them.
Feels like begging them not to not leave me alone.
I am sorry for keeping you guys till so late at night.

Ignorance is one of the thing I hate the most in this world.
At least some responses are good.
At least scold me, say you hate me and say you wanna end all these crap.
It is far better than let me just hanging on the cliff hoping someday later you may come back and pull me up again.
What do you want me to do then ?????
You never know how cruel it is to me.
Enough is enough , eh? Does that mean you had enough of me?
At least explain it to me.. thoroughly!!!

Can't you see the reason behind all the messages that I've sent to you?
I know I told you don't have to reply me, but you really think I meant it?
Can't you see I really need you right now ?
Stop being that selfish, can you?
Does that mean whatever you've told me in the past are just lie?
Just to please me for awhile.... Sweet talk?

What do you want from me???!!!!!!
I can't get it at all.
For when I thought I can get over with you, you came back and leave me alone once again.
Do you know what have I been through just to fill up the hole you left in my heart?
How much I had suffered just to gain myself a little bit of confidence.
You came, and took everything away from me ... again.

I love you!! Yes, I still do.
But you don't have to exploit that love.
You really don't have to come back to me just because you think you will totally lose me.
You got yours happiness, but what about me?
Can't you just let me had some on my own as well?
At least me taste that happiness for a little longer.

I hate you, Yes , I am starting to.
I hate you when things get bad , you choose to run away , leave me alone and choose to ignore me.
I hate you know that how I afraid I am to the alone and yet you don't care for me at all.
I hate you ! I HATE YOU!!!
Damn!!

Seriously, what do you want me to do...
I really can't think of anything right now.
Why don't you just kill me.
End my life.
It least I know it's better than hurt me again and again.

I want you to be happy.
But I don't have to courage to bless you that.
You never how hurt it is to send your own love away to others.
You never know how many I did that just because I know you are in love with the others.
I feels like cutting my own meat down.

I want you to be happy.
But please, don't let me know how happy you are now.
At least I won't be able to think how much you hate me, want to ignore me and don't want to care for me anymore.

Arghhhh!!

2011-05-20T01:37:00.004+08:00

It has been a really long time since I really need to say whatever is piled up in my heart.
Since I can't find a person to talk to and no place for me to shout, I am thinking maybe I can just come back here and type them all out.

No.... It's not because I have already forgotten the existence of my own blog.
Just that, I am trying to learn how to deal with everything myself.
Trying very hard to cope with the fact of "what I dont feel very happy with but it's not ethically wrong".

YA!!!
The source of the problem seems to be still from me myself. :)

When I was still small, I always think that the partner that you choose for your life is one of the most special person in your life.
Yup, SPECIAL!
When I say special, to me, it means one-of-a-kind, important, the one you care very much, different from the others in a good way of course and others.
However, loving her makes me doubt my own definition of the word "special".

Maybe different people has different way to define it, I dont know.
But to me, her "special" doesn't differ too much from the "normal" especially when we are far apart.

Do my words get into her ears and mind?
Are they important?
Or... maybe they were just pretty normal things for her.

Probably I am special to her but not that important.
If she feel tired about us, she can just leave which has become one of the greatest threat for me to keep on moving backward and let her to do whatever she want and yet, I am not allow to be unhappy about it.

She gave me the permission to ask about everything but ... How am I going to ask? and.. does that even make any difference if I asked ?

However, from the other way point of view, maybe it's just because of my own jealousy.
I get jealous really easy and haih... I try not to show it in front of her.

Our love started from the internet chating.
And that makes me think a lot whenever she chat and jokes with the other guys for a long time.
Don't even say when she willingly gave her own pic to the other guy to edit for her.

There is always questions in my mind that I dont really dare to ask her.
And yet she really hate me to be not happy about it.
So, other than hide my own feeling .. anyone has other suggestion on how am I going to deal with it.
I am sure it'll makes her very sad if I tell this straight in her face.

It's never her fault.
She know I dont like it and she did tried to change for me too which makes me really glad that she did.
She does really care for me sometimes and it really did warm my heart up.
Maybe that's her.
For unknowingly did things I dont really like and still doesnt realise them.
For love to make a lot of friends regardless they are guys or girls and become the center of attraction in them.
For treating her friends very nice, maybe way too nice enough to create any misunderstanding.
For not realise that it is an act of seducing instead of normal way to treat a friend.

Honestly, sometimes I really do want to just let her go.
Grant her her's absolute freedom.
For me never to care anymore.

But I know it's my heart..
Has always been my heart ..
Tells me , it's her..
Still her.

That's the reason for me to still hold onto it as long as there is still the tiniest chance of hope exist.

Zerolise.

2011-04-28T13:49:00.002+08:00

From a hero to a zero.
It's not that hard.
It only takes few days time and a woman you love :).
And the pain in your heart.

曲: 周杰倫
Qu: Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

詞：方文山
Ci: Fang Wen Shan
Lyrics: Vincent Fang

Translation: wackycashew – www.jay-chou.net

斷了的弦再怎麼連
duan le de xuan zai zen me lian
A broken string, how can it be reconnected?

我的感覺妳已聽不見
wo de gan jue ni yi ting bu jian
My feelings, you already cannot hear

妳的轉變像斷掉的線
ni de zhuan bian xiang duan diao de xian
Your changes are like a string that’s been broken

再怎麼接音都不對
zai zen me jie yin dou bu dui
No matter how I adjust, the sound won’t be right

妳的改變我能夠分辨
ni de gai bian wo neng gou fen bian
Your changes, I have the ability to distinguish

Verse

我沉默妳的話也不多
wo chen mo ni de hua ye bu duo
I’m silent, you don’t have much to say either

我們之間少了什麼不說
wo men zhi jian shao le shen me bu shuo
Between us, what are we missing? Let’s not say

哎喲微笑後表情終於有點難過
ai yo wei xiao hou biao qing zhong yu you dian nan guo
Aiyo…After smiling, my expression finally has a bit of sadness

握著妳的手
wo zhe ni de shou
Holding your hand

問妳決定了再走
wen ni jue ding le zai zou
Asked you for your final decision before I left

我突然釋懷的笑
wo tu ran shi huai de xiao
I suddenly laughed with a relieved heart

笑聲盤旋半山腰
xiao sheng pan xuan ban shan yao
The laughter circled around the middle of a mountain

隨風在飄搖啊搖
sui feng zai piao yao a yao
Floated with the wind, swaying

來到妳的面前繞
lai dao ni de mian qian rao
Arrived before you, pacing back and forth

妳淚水往下的掉
ni lei shui wang xia de diao
Your tears streamed down

說會記住我的好
shuo hui ji zhu wo de hao
Saying that you will remember my goodness

我也彎起了嘴角笑
wo ye wan qi le zui jiao xiao
I also curled up the corners of my mouth, smiling

*妳的美已經給了誰
ni de mei yi jing gei le shui
Your beauty has already been given to whom?

追了又追我要不回
zhui le you zhui wo yao bu hui
Chasing and chasing again, I can’t get it back

我了解離開樹的葉
wo liao jie li kai shu de ye
I understand that the leaves that have left the trees

屬於地上的世界凋謝
shu yu di shang de shi jie diao xie
Belong to the world of the ground, withering

Chorus

斷了的弦再彈一遍
duan le de xuan zai tan yi bian
A broken string, playing once more

我的世界妳不在裡面
wo de shi jie ni bu zai li mian
My world, you’re not in it

我的指尖已經彈出繭
wo de zhi jian yi jing tan chu jian
My fingertips have already become calloused from the playing

還是無法留妳在我身邊
hai shi wu fa liu ni zai wo shen bian
But still there’s no way for me to keep you by my side

斷了的弦再怎麼連
duan le de xuan zai zen me lian
A broken string, how can it be reconnected

我的感覺妳已聽不見
wo de gan jue ni yi ting bu jian
My feelings, you already cannot hear

妳的轉變像斷掉的線
ni de zhuan bian xiang duan le de xian
Your changes are like a string that’s been broken

再怎麼接音都不對
zai zen me jie yin dou bu dui
No matter how I adjust, the sound won’t be right

妳的改變我能夠分辨
ni de gai bian wo neng gou fen bian
Your changes, I have the ability to distinguish

A dream

2010-11-14T19:29:00.003+08:00

Two days ago, I was dreaming that one of my best friend was trying to kill me but in the end he killed her instead.
It was me the main cause of her death and putting her through the dangerous situation.
It was my fault for not pushing her away when she refused to leave by myside.
By the time I know she's dead because of me, eveything will be too late.
I should have know it was just a dream by the time she hold onto my hand and promised to never leave me no matter what happen.
I suppose to know it was a dream from the start when she with me.
Because those are the things that will be impossible to happen ever again.

I feel weak.

2010-11-01T08:11:00.003+08:00

I didnt sleep for the whole night rushing my 40 questions to be done in 3 days time.
Each of them takes me at least 3- to 45 minutes to be done roughly only.
The Sun rises and I am struggling everywhere to look a stick of cigarrate, an ammo for me to fight through the day.
Thanks God for leaving me a stick left in my bag.
But no thanks for You to let me to choose a wrong time to relax my mind for awhile.

I always know since yesterday's dream, my mind keep on pulling me towards her.
I've tried everything to distract her off; I am willing to pay for it but it doesnt work at all.
The songs that I've been singing, the lyrics and the musics seem to keep reminding me of her everytime.
I've tried to yell, tried on my every masks, ...no hope.

I know, I can't afford to distract even a little for these 3 days.
But whenever I am at my weakest point, the stronger the senses of her got into my mind.

Oh..What should I do?
What else can I do?
Why cant I just be like a man, forget anything as long as I will for it.

People said, even the strongest man in the world may crumble for a love.
I might the only person in the world raising his both hand agree with the fact.

How nice it would be if I am like the Aladdin who found a magical lamp with a genie granting my 3 wishes.

I will grant you your freedom as my third wish, Genie.
But before that, happiness for all the people around me especially the person I love the most.
Next, will be me disappear from this world, wiping every evidence about my existence.

With these, no one will be sad anymore, none have to pretend and no one with the excessive feeling of missing a person anymore.

It doesnt feel good when you miss a person a lot but you could say it out as you know no one will care.
It will only make you look stupidier and weaker.
Sometimes, I really think that, it's the time.
For me to terminate everything that's connected to her.
This blog, my facebook, my e-mail, my msn..
Till I do my part...my mind and my heart.

Who...you me? or her and them. Obvious.

2010-10-19T17:28:00.002+08:00

It is said that, the person who asked the most is the person to worry and care the most.
But at the same time, he or she might be the bad person in the story who is trying to figure out how's the thing goes and plan a further step for another evil plan.
Not sure which one, but I am trying hard to figure out which role I am playing at.
Innocent or the evil one.

I gotta admit I did asked her out for awhile last week.
I don't know if it's the loneliness had blinded me or am I really had went crazy for being alone for a too long time.
That's just the time when I learnt how scary will the loneliness be. When I always thought that I am always a good loner.

Maybe I should say, it's a fortunate thing that she doesn't care at all. =)
Yes, I was rejected, undirectly.

I thought I should be the one crying and pity by others.
But the fact is, I am not. At least I know I dont have the right to be.
You see, today I snapped myself out from my "evil plan".
I don't really know the true reason for me to ask her out again when I promise not to even contact with her again.

I almost forget the reason I decide to let her go and never to see her again.
I almost forget the pain I had to go through when she decided to put a full stop to the story that I struggled so hard to save.
I almost forget the cold tears she dropped not because of us, but for just seeing me in a miserable situation.
More importantly...I almsot forget how I miserably messed up her life, and the pain I gave her for her to decide not to hold onto the love that was once so strong.

I had a dream today.
Call it a sweet dream or nightmare, I dont really know anymore.
I was asked to hug her by no one but herself.
I knew it was a dream the moment she hold onto my hands but I just did it anyway.
I always knew the dream was going to end but at least, I was able to feel the great feeling I had once in the past again which I know, it's impossible in reality anymore.
But...just right before I woke up..
I felt tears rolling down my cheek.
I dont know if it's mine or hers.
It just broke my heart.

All the while, I thought that if I try very hard to think at the bright side I might just free myself from this love bound.
If I can't find my way out, I just have to close my eyes and rush foward for one day later, I might be able to have my wings back once again.
However, these loneliness made me realise that I am not going anywhere except than running around the circle.

God,...I really am sorry... I just couldnt do it alone.
I am lost again.
Please guide me.
Tell me how and what I should do.
At least a better resolve, a better determination for me to stop looking for her anymore.
I dont want to hurt her anymore...Help me.

Fuck the loneliness, Fuck the pain..
Tie me up, hide my wings,,,Shut my heart and brain down.

Y

2010-10-17T00:06:00.003+08:00

It has been a week since I am all alone without a single soul company me by myside.
This is terrible and I know I had underestimate the term of lonely too much.
And now I am punished due to my own arrogant.
Somehow, this really remind me of a sentence said by a character in the movie, Protege, "Which is scarier; loneliness or drug?"
I am sure I can't differentiate them apart as well.

I got to know one of her friend had passed away today.
And she got so sad that she cried and even made a video for her dear friend.

Hmmm..
I just wonder, why it makes me wanna cry with them as well.
It seems to sour inside and made my tears flows from my both eyes as well.

I dont know..
Could it be of their friend's tragedy??
Or maybe I was just touched by their friendship ness.
Probably just because I am so alone these days, so I was already down in mood from the begining.
But I am just thinking..Could it be that I got to know she is really sad now?

It breaks my heart unconsiously and I failed to hold onto my tears when the image of her crying appear in my mind.
And the worst thing is, I am not able to do anything to ease her heart a little except than the sms I sent to her after considering for a very long time. - If only it works.

It pains to know when you are not needed.
It pains even more to see the person you cherish so much are so sad and you are not able to do anything at all.

All I can say is,
Cheer up, girl. Your dear friend is with God now. She is happy with friends like you all. Be strong and pray for her.

Unexpected

2010-09-16T04:00:00.002+08:00

Honestly I didn't really expect her to poped up in my mind so much tonight.
When I say didn't expect, it means I was totally unprepared which is a bad thing and the reason that lead me to here once again.

It started when my friend asked me to go for the "old cow vs tender grass movie".
Evryone who had already watched the movie should know that the movie was about the beautiful love stories that make you tears and mucus from nose.
Actually I don't really hate those love stories or movies.
It is just that watching those kind of movies remind me a lot her.
"How nice if they are me and you" bla bla bla...
To make thing worst, even though it was a late movie, there were still a lot of couple watching the movie including my friends. =/ hmmm...

"Alright", I thought, " I guess when I'm back, I will just maple a little before go to bed. This should do some distraction"
However, ... You see when I was back to Sibu last to time, I brought over a radio clock with me here. Since then, whenever I am back to my room, I will just on the radio to break the silentness in my room and as well to find some new songs to listen to.
But tonight, there's not a single new song in the air.
Instead, there are only those slow and sad songs and almost all of them make me remind about the past of me and her.
Some songs are taboo to me and they were all aired. =.="

In the end, I am here. Duhhh....
Don't ask me why, I don't know me myself as well.
Maybe I am just hoping after writing evrything in here, it might ease my heart a little.
A little would be enough since the desperate person can't be choosy isn't it?
Or...
Could this be a way for me to say " I miss you"
to ask " sometime, do you ever miss me more you should since that day? If yes, what will you do?"

you know, everytime when I think about you and her, it reminds me of how happy you are now.
That's what encourage me to push myself as far as I could from you.

The Moon might not be blue anymore.

2010-09-03T03:36:00.003+08:00

I've been trying so hard to avoid everything that remind me of her since that day.
Limiting my thoughts, blocking every single memory of hers.
Distracting my attention everytime when I know things about her is going to appear.
Focusing on controlling eveywhere single of nerve at my fingers not to click anything about her on my laptop. Including this blog of mine that accumulated my memories of hers.
I know I've been trying to follow her steps to avoid instead of facing the cruel reality.
I thought if I can hold onto these for as long as I could, I might just get through these eventually.

Oh well.
I'm now standing at the balcony outside my room, armed with my itouch and a cigarate lited on the other hand.
I'm not sure if I'm already at my limit, the silent ness of the night, or is it this feeling of loneliness that guide me to this old blog of mine.
Maybe it's just my heart that seems haven't done wanting to talk to you I guess.
I'm gotta have to admit all of these happened without filtering through my mind.
That's what happen when I act according to my feeling =\.

Maybe just tonight, I will be breaking the law of you to trepass through me.

My has always been a dark one since I was a kid.
I always act as tough as I could not to be standing at the bottom, avoid any help from others and of course not to burden anyone around me.
Till the day you appeared.
You are just like the light who lit up the darkness inside of me and taught me there is always someone I could rely on.
I just don't have to carry everything on myself.
I'm happy and hope of keeping evrything of you just with me.
Maybe, just because I overdid this, you left.

I know I couldn't Never ever have the chance to look for you anymore.
As it was me myself who decided on this.
Because I know who I am, how weak my resolve would be, I might just force myself into you again.
And I might scare you if it does happen again.
That's what I've been trying to avoid. For you to be scare of me.

I was just thinking, if there is one day for the "blue moon" do appear again for you to read this, ...
I'm sorry.
And thank you for once litting up inside my life.

A short one

2010-07-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like crying for you as the reason.
But I hold onto my tears trying so hard to divert my thought to anything else but you.
For at least I know, I don't drop tears for you anymore.
Obviously, I still cant get over with the pain of losing you.
But I do try as hard as I could to mask up the wound.
Like how stubborn my heart towards you, I will try with all my might masking them up.
For no one else can ever trace a single of you in me anymore.

Be happy, girl, BE REALLY HAPPY. I mean it. I swear.

2010-06-14T04:27:00.002+08:00

I thought I've gained the immunity.
I thought with everything I did, I will be able to go through everything peacefully.
I dont need any glory but not the pain as well.
I thought The God must have answered my prayer by taking away the pain in exchange with the happiness.

But why, without any warning she appeared before my eyes??!!!!!!
Damn it!!
Confidence that I've been working so hard picked up little by little had been crashed into nothing at all.
I just, couldnt do anything.
No!! I can't cry.
With all my might I hold onto myself.
No!! I can't chase her from behind.
I promise myself not to take a single step forward anymore.
She's happy now and I should forget any possibility about me and her.

Damn it GOD!!
This hurts!

Why do I still feel my question would be answered one day later?
I've been so careful since that day but everything is ruined.

I should've reject my friends for the movie just now.
I should've lock myself in my own room today.

I really wonder what's in her mind when she saw me just now.
Must be feeling damn unlucky at that time.
or..
It's funny to see how pitiful I've become.

I tried, I swear to God I tried to shake away everything and laugh.
But I just couldn't make it right.

I don't want to sleep tonight.
I don't want to cry today.
I don't want these kind of feeling anymore.
I give up and I dont want to try anything anymore.
I just wanna sit here peacefully in the dark and hug myself.
Not doing anything.
Just to be as careful as I can, keeping my mind blank..........................................................
Letting the time pass by.
Do waht I should do, finish my job and leave everything behind, disappear.

If the time is not the cure.
All I can do is to escape from everything.

Two Is Better Than One

2010-06-04T17:35:00.003+08:00

It's a kind of human nature to choose what's better in or for their life.
It's not selfish, not self-priority.
Not purposely hurting, not to be sorry at all.
For the current me, maybe Two is really better than One...

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey..."

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

你看不到的天空

2010-05-03T02:30:00.002+08:00

Artist Name: Evan Yo
Album Name: 寂寞，好了
Song Name: 你看不到的天空

好像飄浮了很久
自從那天你放開了手
應該是兩個人來的港口
我一個人在虛擬溫柔

用你的目光看海
可樂冰痛了我的指頭
幸福又快樂的地球人
不斷從我的身邊經過

對你還能怎麼說　能怎麼做
做什麼也都不夠
插在口袋中
是沒有人來握住的手

我的表情並不多　心也不痛
我只不過是不懂
世界在熱鬧什麼

我在你看不到的天空　
看著燦爛的煙火
這城市孤單的人只有我

沒有誰在乎　誰跟誰分手
每個時鐘都繼續轉動

許下你聽不到的承諾　
流星怎麼不墜落
在倒數聲中我剩下什麼

沒有誰甘心　對回憶愛不釋手
但我無力對抗　這整個世界的寂寞

我該如何去面對　整個世界的寂寞

Remember What I Said To Myself.

2010-04-30T01:28:00.005+08:00

Trying to grab the steering as hard as I could so that I know I am total in control with the car I was driving.
Through a lane, passing by.
I know just because I saw it.
I know what's in my mind, I know what I am thinking and I know what I am suppose to do.
So I laughed and smiled all the way trying to find something to distract myself.
It was almost perfect till suddenly I noticed the pain at my finger that I was bitting.
I know I couldn't hold any longer anymore.
So in the end, I burst and broken down.

What am I doing?
And why am I doing that?
That's the two main questions that I've been keep asking myself.
No answer was given.
I know what I had promised myself; remember what's the only mattter.
I've got to this no matter what and how.

For now, I am in total willing to pay any price just to ease this feeling a little.
Even by a little would be enough.

Sometimes especially at night, I've an urge to do something I know I suppose not to.
Maybe I should've just change my phone number away.
Maybe I should've just leave these places and go away as far as I could.
I just don't know why, I keep on feel like, there's a light ahead.
Haih...
Can someone please just tell me what should I do know, step by step, ended all of these.
I really dont know how much longer my mind and my heart could bear all these.
It just feel like I am going total insane.

Stated as at 1.10am, 30th April 2010 -

Confession(s)

2010-04-29T02:28:00.003+08:00

I have some(a) confession(s) to make.
Since whenever, I had been going against my own heart.
I mean, whatever my heart felt, I tried so hard pushing the opposite way.
As for the result, nothing were going well.. at all!!

I am kind of a person that always follow the way that whatever my heart tell me to.
I believe in it but too bad it's not a good thing for a person like me who love to take risks.
Ahhh!!

I know I am not a perfect human.
Definitely not a good lover.
I tried and failed miserably.
But, for a good part, God gave me a heart that never give up on anything I love and always want to.
Hmm..I think I got to know more about myself since the day she finally deicided to left me.
I found that I've never try to dig deep down into myself.
Instead, I've always been trying to find out who she are.

Seriously, I have been writing a lot lately.
I always do that when I am not in the good mood, whenever my mind popping about her, whenever my feeling, my decisions, my heart waivered a little.
But, I never post any of them here.
Probably there's a little corner of my heart doesn't want her to see all of them.
But you guys may ask, "Why am I doing this now?"
Well, she will be flying back here the next day.
So I guess she won't be reading this for a long long time, myabe for days, or probably months. Well, there's a possibilty of "never" =).

I played a lot since that day.
Maybe I am just outsourcing some happiness since I've lost mine or, trying to cover waht I realy feel right now.
I've lost my motivation in life, I've lost my interest in almost anything.
She might be the one decide to leave me, but I am the one who decide to let her go.

Truthly speaking, some days ago I did tried to post something here to show that I am happy and doing well.
But when I opened my laptop, I was blank.
Maybe it is still easier to fake a smile physically if there's by any chance she and I meet.

I learnt something.
The past is the past, it's not important at all, so, forget them.
When two person together, doesnt mean they share the same heart and mind, if you don't say, he or she won't know what you think.
When you made a person you love smile for you, *pufff* it's like magic, you forget everything not nice happened between you and her and that's the time you may smile from your heart as well.
Your lover's hands are still always the best things in the world to hold, you almost can't let go of it.
Love is all about, she "yes" and "I do".

Okay, I admit.
I miss her.
So badly especially when the real happy face of her appear in my mind all the time.
There are times when I tried to brave myself to look for her but, whenver I think of burdening her for so long time, I gave up.
There are times when I wanna ask if there's any even a tiny biny possibility between me and her, I gave up because I am scare I may not able to be a better person for her.
Sometimes, I am thinking of just being friends with her but, I know myself could hardly control my own whenever she's beside me.
All I can do is, looking at her from far without her knowing my existence.
I can pretend I don't care, but I can't deny that my heart is still everything about her.
You know, there are lots of time that I was thinking, how if I do this and how if I do that when I am with her but....nah, I think since that day, there's no me in her anymore, so, what the hell am I thinking?

She's happy now, that's all the matters right?
But God, I've got to admit sometimes, I really do need her by myside even for just one minute.
Without talking at all, a smile would be just enough.

Kinda miss the time when she hugged my from my back, it feels like the warmest thing I've ever felt in my life.
That's when I felt, I am love by someone I love; the wwas be the best feeling ever in my whole life and it will always be.

A Note To God,
Dear God, as You know, my b'day is coming soon.
So, if there's any possibility, I may like to ask for a heart that is made of stone.
So that, I won't be able to feel anything at all anymore.
Thank you.
Amen.

Streamyx - The worst of everything.

2010-04-20T16:52:00.002+08:00

"All of our TM customer representative are still busy. We will be reaching you as soon as possible."

That's what I paid for almost RM20 for since yesterday when I called the TM centre asking for the reason of why my internet line keep on disconnecting.
What I got in return?
"We will be giving you the feedback as soon as possible."
FUCK YOU!!

I feel so so angry and frustrated now.
I can feel the smoke coming out from both my ears and my head is boiling at the max temp.

I paid for the service to make myself angry!!!
If I didnt even call them yesterday, they won't even bother to inform me that my Streamyx line was actually connected and I get myself online already. SHIT THEM!
Well, that was okay.

The real problem of my anger is that, this SHITTY line get disconnected for every 2-5 minutes, never survive longer than that.
Then I have to wait for more than 5 mins to get it connected again.

NIAMA, ASAP!! Since yesterday, animal. More than 24 hours already.
No wonder Malaysia's Internet Service provider is rated way down below the worst among the world.

To get thing worse, TM actually even dare to sponsor some sort of event that doesn't even have a single connection with their service.
For example, the recent Ah Mei's Amit World Tour Concert.
Still got face to do so when the services provided is so lousy.
You thought Ah Mei is going to eat your lousy Streamyx service is it??!!
Instead wasting the fucking money at sponsor on non-related thing, why dont you just make your line better?

If you guys were me, some of you people might had already blown your own head up to the space while been given this kind of service and receiving a bill amounting up to RM200!!.
You paid for nothing except than worsening your own temper.
NO wonder there's lot of Malaysians are boycotting Streamyx.

If providing services is the main business of a company, satisfaction of the customer is the most important thing of all.
KEEP THAT IN MIND!! TURTLE-Myx!

An Antique

2010-04-20T01:21:00.005+08:00

Do you guys ever try to dig into your old rotting vault for some very old songs that you listened to for the past, around ..urm ..5-10 years back before?
LOL!!!
This is what the liongteck is doing now.
I can't deny I am a bit past-tense person (urm okay, maybe a little bit too over). Haha.

And guess what songs am I listen to now?

One of the S.H.E.'s album~

Together!! =P

I tell you guys what, for me, that's the best album ever from them, not the lastest SHERO or whatever pussy cat.

I love, Always On My Mind, I love Tian Shi Zhai Chang Ge (Angle is singing), I love Bai She Lian Ge (White Love Song), Wo He Xing Fu You Yue Ding (I have date with the happiness [should be translated like this bah])!! I LOVE ALL OF THEM!

It reminds me of the past 9 years CNY I was having.
In the Cyber, Counter-Strike "ing" with friends with lots of foul words. HAHA!

That was one of the best celebration of CNY I ever had in my life.
No worries at all.

What's in the mind?

2010-04-18T22:41:00.001+08:00

How am I going to get through my day today?
That’s the very first question I’ve been asking myself as I opened my eyes on the bed.
Well, I can sleep through the whole day or re-watching all the animes or movies.
If there’s an internet line here, I’m sure I would be Mapling my day off.
But the fact is, I don’t.
So, I tried the 1st option which is to sleep.
Mm, it worked for not more than 1 hour and I got frustrated.
Probably the alcohol doesn’t work anymore.
So I tried the later one and I found that I can almost remember every single word of the characters is going to say. SHIT HUH?!!!

I grabbed my Ipod, my wallet, my hand phone and the keys; changed my clothes and head to the nearby park for a jog.
Before, I would always go for a jogging to release my tension or whenever I was down by hoping that I could tired me off to death so that I could sleep at night.
But I forget since when, the spell seems to be losing the effect.
So this time I’m going to jog with every single ounce of my energy; even by walking I am going to use every tiny-biny of them off.
With the songs played in my ears, somehow I got even down that I expected.

Maybe I got way too into the songs, I found myself was in tears that I thought suppose to dried up since yesterday.
Well, that was still ok, since I don’t think anyone would found out due to the massive sweat I had on my face.

At the moment I was thinking, what I should I do or say to you tomorrow; the day you will fly here again.
Every sentence seems like a trap.
I don’t feel like making you uneasy.
But I think we really do need to clear this thing out, for good.

You know,
I seem to have floating around for a long time.
Trying so hard to kill the pain since the day you ignored me.
I think I’ve been to the place which seems to be for lovers; standing among them trying to look for some for my own.
Do you know that there are actually a lot of happy couples exist in this city?
They walked non-stop passing by me.
I am now standing under the sky you couldn’t see, watching the most exciting movie feels like I’m carrying the whole world’s loneliness.
Trying to keep the promise you never know.

Maybe I shouldn’t have followed the pace of yours who loves instant happiness for just a moment.
I tried so hard to make myself to get off the track that we had gone through together.
But no matter how hard I push and pull; I still couldn’t get myself out of the zone.
It seems to be most of the time I was alone to fight for the forever of our love.
Until today, I am still alone, testing my own limit.

I was wondering of why I always think that there must some kind of kinder excuses.
But almost all the time I tried, the outcomes are always unexpected.
Honestly, sometimes I am hoping to be just like you.
Let me have a day of your happiness.
Trying to understand how you feel, with lots of people around you all the time.
As the loneliness never exist.

I looked myself in the mirror and found that there are lots of words in my heart can’t be said.
Wondering when the day is for me to able to release them.
What kind of expression I should show?
How should I express them?

As I am growing up, I found that this world is changing all the times and you are too.
Sweet words don’t seem to be as sweet as before anymore.
Everything about me is not as important as before.
Remembering the day that you care for our love a lot, that was the most beautiful, the most genuine happiness I ever felt in my life.
Sometimes I was thinking, am I being too naïve if I ask,
“Can I experience one more time the feeling of you do really care for me till the day you want me to leave?”

Sometimes I do think you are just acting stupid or else it would mean that you really don’t care anymore.
Silence is always the answer you gave.
Somehow I should’ve told you waiting for you has never been an easy job for me.
It’s true that I really don’t know how to express myself.
All I know when you are truly in love, you might end up being the one who got hurt the most.
I also know there are many ways of loving a person.
One of them is granting her the freedom or sincerely blessing them from heart.
ARR!! Who knows how hurtful it would be of sending of his loves one?
I will be the 1st who raise my hand.

I could still feel the scent of your kiss.
The shadow of yours sitting besides holding my cold freezing hand.

Some people are just that easy to fall in love and forgetting them by just clicking their fingers.

Listening to the song titled “HAO XIANG HAO HAO AI NI” remind me of the last song you sang on my last and the only b’day with you by my side.
I don’t care is it for me or her, I think I would just selfishly treat it as you are singing the song just for me.
Since I know you seem to almost cry every time when you heard and sing the song.
I know; I just can’t say it out for fear that; it’s not because of me.

There it goes; liongteck is emo-ing once again when he knows he is not supposing to.

Sane No More

2010-04-18T10:32:00.005+08:00

I was totally on fire yesterday.
You see, I've been very uneasy with my life since last week and never had a good day for myself.
And, I wonder when was the last day that I could fall asleep at the night time already.
Yesterday probably the day that my uneasiness or anger was on its climax I think.
I can't sit still, I can't think well and YES!! I almost like having a sign of going crazy soon.
I found myself bitting my thumb a lot with driving around and inhaled way too much nicotine as I usual did.

Well, I seriously need help.
So, I asked my housemate whether want to go sing K with me.
Oh, my main purpose was to shout everything out. LOL!
But these were what happened.
I asked him at the day time but he seemed not to has any interest at all so he rejected.
But due to the boring"ness" we were having in the same house with only 2 guys who don't talk much, I managed to persuaded him to go but at the night time.
So, I got myself ready the moment he said yes.

Ok, that was way too early to prepare myself, so I did everything I could to distract my mind a little bit.
Borrowing his broadband to see this and that, trying to milk out some topic to talk to him, and bla bla bla ..
YES!! It was finally 8pm!

First I drove my us to the nearest Popwave but the place seems to be so fucking dammn full or probably the Kuching people are way too "kiasu" so lots of them called and booked their room so they can come late and see the person who came early for not having any room.
We left and went into The Spring to the K box, and as we saw the price listed at the outside board, I was thinking, that's is alright, only RM3 more than the Popwave.
BUT!!! My housemate suddenly said, "No, I think the time was too long, I scare later my phone will keep on ringing."
I was like, " FUCK YOU MAN!! YOU PLAY ME IS IT??! WHY DONT YOU JUST SAY NO IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I DIDNT FORCE YOU WITH A KNIFE ON THE NECK, DID I?"
Of course, I didn't say those all out or else I will be even lonelier than I was now.
Instead I ask, "Then what are we going to do now?"
"Watch movie la", he answered.
Seriously, at that time when I heard this, I really feel like vomiting at the spot!
I mean it I swear.

Look, I've been watching 3 straight night movies in 3 days plus 1 or 2 more this week and I even almost choose to watch 2 movies at a the night before.
Movie again, you will see me running around in the movie hall naked and screaming all the bad words you could think of.

He seems to know that he had offended me and brought me to the legendary Holland so he suggested us to drink some tea before headed back and we did.
However, Like I said, I cant even sit still at all.
All I remember was being a cho-cho train for all the time there to keep myself down a little then finally head back.
You see, most of the time, I would think of a shortest route to reach the destination while I am driving but this time, I can't even think so I would just drive anywhere I can as long as I could reach home.
But before that, I came a coffee shop and had myself a little "painkiller"
It's the thing that saved my night.
Seriously, it never tasted as nice as that night before.
It was the best lullaby, best mind distraction thingy.

LOL!!
As I always stress on that I am never a drinker, I mean it.
But yesterday I was totaly insane that I really in need of them.
I willingly gulped down an amount of it and it feels good when I could feel that it started working at my system.

I've always been describing some people who always stick their night at the bars as.. well, you know.
But somehow, I finally realised what are they have been going through.
I really does feel good at the time like this even it's only for a moment.
I've never drink any beers tastier than this.
I've never so graceful that I was having headahce the moment the alcohol is taking place.
I've never been vomitting with a smile before.
I've never been crying my heart out loud with a laugh like yesterday.
And it really has been a long time since I could finally tired myself out on the bed at the night time.
Somehow, I just dont care I might get addicted for being at the heaven even though for just a moment.

Remind me of a saying in the movie of Protege, "Which one is the scariest of all; drugs or the loneliness?"
I think I finally understand you and most of the people in this very world.

你真的爱我吗？

2010-04-15T05:02:00.007+08:00

我在想，这一次，即使太阳出来了，我还能够睡的造吗？
好想时间可以快一点过去哦，直到我的心不在这么的痛那一天。
我真的不知道你想在我的身上找些设么。。
为设么还要叫我回来呢？
难道真的只是因为而可怜我吗？

真的，真的好想念以前的你。
一个全心全意爱我的你。
一个会为我而打扮的你。
一个会更我说你好想我的你。
一个在等着我回来的你。
一个，真正知道我爱她的你。

也许我的话对你来说已不重要了。
也许你早已都不相信我述说的一切了吧，所以你拆会不记得你对我来说有多重要了。

你在也不在这么做了，这是不是代表我对你来说没有这么重要了呢？

如果可以的话，真的好想能够知到你的心里在想些设么。

但是我知道，你不会关心我了。

这里所有的字是我为了更想了解你而学的。
但是，我永远也猜不透你的心。

如果你记得的话，这里有一个好想念你的人。
一个爱你爱到快看不到他自己了。
但你在做那所有的事的时候，会不会还有他呢？

看到太阳了，我还不想回到我的房间去。
好想继续坐着不要动，直到所有的一切都消失去。

You Don't Care Anyway.

2010-04-15T02:29:00.004+08:00

I’ve never feel so nice in the dark before.
With headphone deep in my ears, volume to the max, distracting my mind.
Casting away everything about you and me.
Trying to experience how is it likes to be you without me, but still I failed.
At least it works half with all the sounds bombing in my ears.
How I wish I could never take off them.

It’s not easy to not screaming out loud whenever I’m in the pain.
With all my might, I hold my breath as long as I could.
But no matter how hard I try, I still couldn’t hold myself from bursting into tears.
Wiping away my tears, I keep on repeating at myself that I promise not to cry anymore.
Not to show pity in front of anyone ever again.
Whatever comes, I will go through them, ALONE!

I wonder what is the “Sorry” is for.
For ignoring me?
For hurting my feeling?
For doesn't care me?
Or is it for telling me that whatever you said is just to make me feel better on that period of time?

If these are all about competition between me and her.
For now, I am raising the white flag.
Yes, finally, I’ve lost.
I am not like her who is able give everything you’ve ever dream of.
Love is everything I had.
But for now, it has lost it weight.
You’ve showed me the weight is at whose side all the time.

It doesn’t matter whatever I’ve said to you.
It’s not important anymore, or I should’ve known that you don’t really care in the first place.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve told me before.
For now I know, those were just temporary comfort to me.

I realize I’ve always been burdening you down with my so called love.
Even though I did try very hard not to do so, it failed most of the time.
I admit there is no way I would let you from leaving my life since it feels like cutting my own meat down.
But from everything I had saw from you, it’s always the better choice for you, for me.

Since you don’t care about me anyway,
I would just assume that you will be a lot happier this way.
The so called freedom, you will have, but in exchange, you will have me lost.
Happiness you will have, but in exchange, I will have you lost.

It’s kind of funny, at the time like this, your smiling face that I would smile whenever I think of, appear in my mind.

Does this settle your confusion a little?
Does this finally erase your dilemma after all these days?
I hope you will feel all of these worth a little.

A boy who loves you so much that he even forgot who he is anymore.

Assure Me a Little

2010-04-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

I am like a child who was promised a bedtime story tale by his mother tonight.
Since he knows how busy his mother will be, so he waited patiently on the bed with books to choose for her mother to read for him tonight.
However, no matter how long he waited, his mother just won’t show up in his room.
Afraid of creating disturbance to his mother, he waited and waited.
In the end, he slept with the books on his hands, with the doors and the lights on expecting that his mother would come.
By the time he woke up in the next few hours, with great disappointment, he realized that her mother never even come in for his tale.
The lights were still on and the doors were still widely opened.
And still, he holds the same books in his hands.
Wondering if it is his mother doesn’t like to tell him the story or he was forgotten.
The poor boy knows he would never know the stories inside the books since he will not ask the same questions from his mother anymore.
It’s not because he didn’t dare to.
It’s because he’s afraid that if he ask her again, her mother would tend to forget him or hate him even more.
With hopes that his mother would come in one day on her own for his bed time story, he hugs the books every night while he is sleeping, even though, he knows it is almost impossible to happen.

-Your words aren’t promises-
They are assurances.
I am sure that I belief in them.
And with those assurances, I can assure that I am still in the safe zone.
But if they are broken, you’ll lose my trusts.

So, I am in love with your smiles.
If I am not the source of your happiness, I wonder, will it be the best option for me to leave you at the other side.

I just thought I will be okay at first, but in fact, I am still not.

You decide.

2010-04-09T03:30:00.004+08:00

It's weird.
I found myself have a habit these days of sleeping in between 10-12am then woke up in the next 2-3 hour for sure.
Well that was alright, but the weird thing is, everytime when I woke up, I feel very very insecure.
It's like, I am very worry of something which even myself couldn't get what it is.
I don't know.
Slowly, the worry of mine, little by little were focused into my relationship between me and her.
That's when I feel the extreme loneliness.
I am still wasn't too sure at 1st, I thought it was just me, but this thought of mine was changed until I realized the action of her towards me from far.

Look, tell me what you want, instead of leaving me rotting here.
Tell me what's going on instead of leaving me wondering do I still having you by myside or not everyday.
Tell me what's so important about me that you instead of holding me tight, you prefer to just tied me up with a thin rope holding the other side of it.
Tell me what's in your mind when you never wan to care for me, and decide not to lose me too.
Tell me what are you thinking instead of putting love into our relationship, you keep hurting me from the inside.
Tell me, now tell me.

I tell you what, I love you, I care for you, that's why I try so hard not to find you but that's when I saw you prefer in others instead of me.
I tell you what, I never or even I can't afford to lose you, since you are so important to me that I hope to hold you so tightly and you push me backward when I tried to reach you.
I tell you what, I would go for you, if you call for me, but the fact is you will never call no matter what happened.
I tell you what, you know I would let you go to the place you prefer more as long as you asked from me and I would do my best leaving you alone.
I tell you what, I've been thinking about you everyday but I wonder do you even remember about me or not.

Today is the last day when you will be physically nearer to me.
And as I expected, you won't even find me yesterday to ask about today.
I wont even be surprised if you've already forgotten what I've ask of you last Monday as well.

By then, my love,
You will have me lose you for a very long time.
I will be at a place where it will be so dark that you wont be able to see me anymore.
A place where even sounds are not able to reach me.
And that's when you will have your Goodbye which you always love to.

You know, I've always been given you the power to decide everything in us.
Because whenever I try to decide anything, you will either push back or leaving me with an unreasonable amount of dissappointment.
For now, my love,
You decide, what we are.

Before, I always thought I've learnt the lesson to no have hopes for the future so that I wouldnt be hurt.
But as I indugled in you, I was forgetting that very basic mindset.
The emptier you are, the lesser you lose.
But why, when I am thinking about losing you, I feel that I am losing everything.

If only one day you would just let me walk into your mind.

2010-04-06T04:59:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile since the last time I sat outside alone watching the moon and the stars writing things with lots of her in my mind.
I can still remember that feeling of how bad I miss her at that time.
And still, I am.
Even though we’ve just met just now, it still feels like it has already been weeks probably months I’ve never see you in face.
Ouh, I never thought I would be such a jerk once again.

You will be leaving in a week time.
By then, we won’t be seeing each other for a very long time anymore.
I am really regretted of what I did just now, or what I didn’t do.

Maybe I was just angry.
A little jealous maybe.
Because I always thought with the entire patient I could wait, it will be paid off one day.
3 weeks, 3 Sundays, that’s all I had been thinking.
After that you will be back to the person who might care for and miss me just a little more.
In fact, I was told that I won’t be able to see you for another 14 weeks, 14 Sundays starting today.
I am a little jealous, jealous of the person who will be given your 10 days among these 98 days though.

Sigh.
I am really wondering what is on your mind now.
What’ve you been thinking of me?
If there is any possible, I really would like you to tell me everything on your mind.

I know I can’t stop you from doing what you want, at least that is the only thing that I think I can do for you.
I definitely can’t stop you from pursing your dream.

I know I’ve been acting like a kid demanding for attention.
But you should know I did this because of I love you don’t you?
I know there’s lots of ways of loving a person.
Maybe I only did that best when you are not by my side, just like in the past.
Maybe you have your way of loving a person as well.

You must know that I didn’t take the kiss just now it is all because I am a little scare of that might the last one.
If I am given a second chance like just now, I doubt I could hold myself once again.

You will never remember me whenever you are into your works, that’s when I’ve been thinking am I losing you already.
I did my best in grabbing your little attention, I did my best to remind you of me just a little, but I never thought all of these were just annoyance to you.
I am not as tough as you can see.
I am fragile especially with the person I never want to lose in my life, maybe a little too fragile.
I am sorry.

You will be leaving on the coming Saturday and your busiest day of the week will be ended by the day before that.
I was just thinking if I would be given another chance for me to claim the kiss I haven’t got just now.
I miss them so so badly now.
Your hugs and the kisses.

3/4/2010

2010-04-06T04:49:00.000+08:00

I could still remember that day when I was about to stop my pace and try to walk on my own.
Without you in front me, without me following anyone anymore.
It was the day that I tried so hard to mask up myself in front the other everyone telling them I am happy.

And that’s when I heard you called my name from far, asking where am I.
I decide to ignore at first, try to take my own very first step.
But in the end, I failed to oblige myself.
I ran back to you as fast as I could.
As I thought there is a chance to start everything over once again.

It was sweet a first.
It had been so long since I felt my steps were so light.
Not even a single weight I could feel.

But people say happiness never last longer than you thought.
It was so true that these days I began to ask how long I do worth this time.
I found myself are just following you around, watching your steps, trying very hard to adopt your pace.
Counting the days you may turn back and call my name again.
But in the end, you made me doubt if all these worth even a little or not.

Assumptions were made when you don’t say a word.
Don’t blame on it since you never want to talk to me.
Your actions were the thing that created these assumptions.

Thank you for calling my name and turned back on me once I’ve reached you there.
At least I thought, I could hear your voice for a time again.

Thank you for making me feels that I am important again.
Even for a short little time.

I am just wondering if one and a half year days are equivalent to less than 2 months,
How long should I wait for a “forever”.

Tell you what, in case you can’t feel it, it feels as pain as the first time you left.

I don’t change huh?

Campanion.

2010-03-28T14:34:00.003+08:00

I've been running around the whole town looking for something.
Something that could kill my loneliness forever so that I wont ever to create the annoyance for other.
Something that is never busy and may given his or her full attention to you as long as you treat him or her nice.
Something like me, who needs attention all the time and never being ignored.
Something that is definitely never let my effort gone to waste and treating it as annoyance.
Something that understand you LOVE him or her.

That's the reason ..
I love dogs.
It may not talk like human do, but at least, that's the best companion I might ever had in my life.
At least, it doenst feel me annoying.

Hi , How are you...

2010-03-24T21:04:00.002+08:00

This is me speaking ..
Does this surprise you a little?
Perhaps not, because it seems more like a disturbance.
Annoying little one. The poor little lonely one.

How I wish for only one day we are able to exchange our characters in life.
For you to experience my loneliness, my life struggling hard for something which is near but never able to reach for it.
For me to lead through your busy life until there is not even a single minute for the one you thought should care for awhile.

"Hi, how are you? It has been a while since we've talked and saw each other."
I've tried my best to shorten everything I felt these days into a sentence.
So, does this reach the speed you hoped for me to just stand a little times of yours?
I know I should already have to got used to the nights without. So, I'm sorry, I failed yours expectation.

It's been a tough day for me today after been through a several sleepless nights.
"Nite" ...It doesnt mean "I'm going to sleep now".
It just to show I aint going to give up just yet and on the other hand, it just a simple little sign that I havent lost you yet.

So, does all this mean I deserve a kiss from you or a "bye" that describe thousand means of departion from you .. ?

A steel through the heart

2010-03-23T12:53:00.003+08:00

How should I start?
Hmmm...
Weird, I suppose to have lots of things to write but somehow.. I can't think of any idea to start.
Or I should say how am I going to write so that I won't be regret for the rest of my life.
Remember the thing I said about "I don't care about anything anymore" thing?
I found that it's really hard to achieve it.
Especially when you got to know there is someone you can't hurt.

I've been in days like hell for the past two weeks.
But when I took sometimes to think about it.. I can't really sure what makes me think like this.
And when the weeks ended, by the time I thought it is over, BANG! Something I saw makes me wanna put down my everything and leave this world..for good maybe.
I can't say what it's here but I really do feel the pierce in heart.
With the current situation, it's an obvious slap on my face telling me what to do.

Perhaps not everything you waited what you long for, even things you hope and work hard for may comes to you.
Not every flower you watered may bloom in the end.

Waiting ain't easy, especially when there's thing you miss for so much but the thing won't come to you
like when you start to dig, in the end you realized the treasure have already been snatched away by someone else leaving the only box.

In Standby Only

2010-03-14T16:39:00.006+08:00

The Thirtieth of March.
I realised that I need to learn how to always be in standby mode only.
Pretend to never exist at where she and she can see me.
It doesnt matter if I need someone.
It only matter if someone needs me.
It's like when you've failed the interview,
The answer you may got is like.. "Please dont call us, we will call you".
LOL! It's funny to think that I've got myself into a comedy life.
It's even funnier when I realise, I cant help myself for getting into it.

I don't know

2010-03-13T19:45:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to say.
It is kind of confusing.
Maybe I shouldn't have come to Starbucks here.
Maybe I should just stay in my own room, staying offline.
Maybe just maybe.
...
Shouldn't have ask for more.
Liongteck is just.., really doesn't know :-)

From pieces to ashes

2010-02-17T03:39:00.003+08:00

It's amazing to know that a broken heart can be broke into more pieces again.
It amaze me even more when I got to know that it hurts as much as when my heart was first broken.

I've been driving around for some times just now.
It reminds me how I got this habit everytime I am down.

At 1st I thought today is going to be the best day among the CNY.
In fact, it was the worst.

More and more thinking I've made today.
More and more the SO CALLED ASSUMPTIONS I MADE!!!
The more pain I felt from the bottom of my heart.

DONT YOU DARE TO SAY YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL when you never ever experience it before.
If this a revenge on me, CONGRATULATIONS, you've done a really good job here.

There things are not meant to be shared with others.
Say I am selfish, say I am bad, I dont really care anymore.
Ever take just some minutes in your life to think , right now, Who Am I To You??
I remember a girl said to me, "You cant have both, choose only one of them, sadness or happiness".

A call can turn everything aroud 180 degrees in the next second.
I exist only when she is not around.
She exist in every second of your life.
Whenever we're together, you may leave for her.
Whenever you are together, ignorance is all I ever got.
Everything is too obivous even without the weighing scale.

But why .... ?

All I've ever left between us, is my only pride.
Even a puppet has its own limit.
Am I just ... a spare happiness....

If that is the case...
I rather choose the be lonely for the rest of my life.

2010 CNY? The worst ever.

2010-02-15T02:20:00.003+08:00

Some people may love to shout when everything is not going as planned or expected.
Some may want to cry when everything is not right at all.
Some may have just sing out really loud draining every ounce of their energy when they are down.
For now, I am one of the person who love to do all of these.

I had my worst 1st day of the Chinese in my life ever.
Everything is very very wrong, not even a single thing goes as I expected.
Sigh.

I always love the atmosphere when all of my family members gather, working hard for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner.
With kids running around, adults chating among themselves waiting for the night to fall then we will all gather watching and enjoying the fire crackers.
Only laughter, none sadness.

Unfortunately, like I said, it's not as expected AT ALL.
This year, only half of the family members showed up and almost only 2 adults and kids watching for the fire crackers.
while the others doesnt come back and part of them went out for their own event without waiting for the 12am to strike.
Nothing really special happened, nothing worth to be mentioned,
I admit I do take lots of the pictures to post them here, but it seems doesnt worth as much as it looks at all.
So, I guess I will just forget it.

I was as tired as hell by yesterday and yet I still have to wait for my mum to really move herself inside the car for me to drive us way back to Sibu.
Hundreds of "yes" and yet I still have to waited for at least 30mins of her every "yes".
Well, I thought, it is Chinese New Year so, I will just have to bear with it.
Angriness may just bring only bad luck.

By the time I reached Sibu, I prepared myself, put on my new clothes by hoping to gather with my friends for some events.
In the end it turned out to be only one of my friend was able to company me while others are not free at all.
Well, I thought, it's normal, since it's just the 1st day of Chinese New Year.

By night time, something did happened that finally crushed me down.
I realised that dream always ended so quick and when you are slapped back to the reality, it is never a good thing.
Yesterday, I accidently walked into the dreamland.
It felt really really nice at first.
However by the time the story almost reach "happily ever after" part, I was pushed back to the reality.
Then I notice, it was ugly and never a real happiness.
I noticed there is always a wall seperated me from the happily ever after.
I noticed there is fate and not matter how you try, it just wont chance.
Then I know the path to the dreamland was just due to a word, guilt.

There is a girl who I always tell her that every girl deserve a flower on the valentine day.
I know it is just a reason for me to path a way to the dreamland.
I did prepared mine this year.
Unfortunately, the day ended before I delivered it.
So, I let fate to decide if the "gift" may reach its destination.
I just left it unattended.
Since, it doesnt mean a thing anymore...
Maybe I should've just throw it away .. =)

I hate the stubborness of my own.

Loves, Starbucks!

2010-02-09T02:20:00.005+08:00

I love Starbucks, I always do.
One of my favourite place on the Earth.
I am not over-reacted or whatever-do-do, I mean it. Haha~

Most of the people think that Starbucks are only for those who are the caffeine lover since they serve only coffee but they are wrong! wrong! WRONG!!
Liongteck is not a caffeine lover but I still love Starbucks.
They do serve my favourite Chocolate Cream Chips and also the Java Chips.
With whip cream on top, they taste almost heavenly.
Yum Yum~

I always think that Starbucks is of the most relaxing place on Earth ever exist(at least for me it is).
I go Starbucks whenever my exam end to relieve my stress.
I go Starbucks whenever I've got nothing to do.
I go Starbucks whenever I feel like to.. LOL!!
But for me, the price for the drinks are little too expensive..
I guess that explain why my wallet is so dried up these days. =/

Most of the time, I went to Starbucks alone.
But not for today.
I almost forgot how nice it is when there's is a company even though you dont say a word.
With my favourite chocolate cream chips, some magazines, a pair of ears and those hyper-active girls, it had became one of my most enjoyable moment at the Starbucks.
Thank you ~ you girls made my day.

PS Remember, Kadang- Kadang, usiklah sendiri~ LOL

Maybe boring ..just boring

2010-02-07T22:34:00.002+08:00

There is a knot.
With all my might, I can only reach one side of it.
No matter how hard I pull, it just wont come off, cant untie it.
Because there is no force at the other side..

Sometimes, when you are alone, when you've got nothing to do at all,
With just a little feeling of missing, you can become so emotional.

These days, I forgot the purpose of me never want to close this blog.
I forgot the purpose I am so indulge in an online game.
It's not because it's fun..
Just because I can at least find some satisfaction in them.
Because it can get me through each day of my life.

I found myself love to ruin everything nice in my life.
I never know how to appreciate the moment but only care how if it ends.
Selfishness is one of the worst nature I have.

I begin to remind myself, how do I go through all these things.
Maybe I should just do what I do best..
Back to my Maple Story..lol..

We do, We are the fools.

2010-02-05T23:43:00.005+08:00

I've been sneezing a lot for today.
I don't think I'm getting fever or any disease since I don't feel sick at all.
However I do feel a little uncomfortable for a part of my body.
My heart.
It doesnt beat at the normal rate, it stops sometimes, it beats too fast for sometimes and for the other time, it pains like it's breaking apart.

I realise I do have some good parts of my own and that will be the worst weakness as well.
I think a lot.
My mind never stop working for 24/7.
Well, it's good thing since everyone say, a person who thinks often, may be a person who has the most intelligence.
But for me , it's bad because, you take account of every little action you made or been treated.
Especially, the things or person that you care for the most.
So, it's definitely a double-edge sword for me.
No one will know what are you trying to say or the message you are trying to send.

Sometimes, human dont speak directly.
They don't go and slap you when they hate you.
They won't tell you that he miss you so badly in your face when they see you.
They definitely wont say I still love you when they doubt that if you've already totally erased them out your heart.
Some may be brave in doing everything they want..
But some rather hide their courage because they are afraid of something else even more.

I notice that other than me, most of the human in this world are wearing a mask in their life.
Because we are afraid of others to know what we are thinking.
That's when ...we start to do foolish things just for the person we care....

Yesterday I've been introduced to a Korea song which I like the lyrics a lot.
IF you are asking that if I know how to read Korea language , then you are wrong... I dont.
It is just that it has been translated in the You tube.
Btw, no link, just lyrics. Enjoy.

Title: "I'm a Fool" / "A Song For the Fool"
Maybe this is because I am a fool.
It is okay even when I get hurt.
Even when others say that it is useless love.
It doesn't matter because I am a fool.
I was nice to you because I wanted to.
I was happy for just that if you smiled just once.
I'm happy with just your smile.
Until the day when her love will come.
I will just stay next to her like this.
Since it is a happy love for me just giving.
I dont want anything else from her.
I will be there whenever you reach out.
I will be there whenever you call out.
Without a change I will be there..
Because I love you..
Because I am a fool...

Out of breath

2010-02-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

Okay, how should I start?
Hmmmm~~

I am little tired now.
Probably because of the jogging just now.
Yeah~ liongteck went JOGGING!! LOL!!!
Anyway, I do have this feeling which is a little diferrent than tired that I had before.

It started after I've done the jogging, ride onto my car ..
And the next thing was something happened that drained all of my energy away.
I even have a hard time to breath.
I tell you all what, this is very very weird.
I've never been this tired from any exercise I did before.

I feel so so sleepy, I lost my appetite, but I do feel like going around the city with winds blowing onto my face.
It would be nice if there is someone who can drive for me and I will be sitting on the next seat laying my face on the window enjoying the wind, LOL!

Anyway, I've decided to go out later.
I don't really feel like staying inside this room tonight.
Anywhere is good other than here. Away from my laptop. HAHA!!
So, I gotta go bath now, bye`~

PS I am pretty sure my message was sent and received. Now, I've been replied, and I guess I know already ^^ Those were all just .............

Dont lose control of myself

2010-02-03T23:28:00.005+08:00

What've I done?
What am I thinking???!!
I must've knocked my head so hard for the past few days for thinking like this.

I should've know it's not true and it's not what I am thinking.
Grow up liongteck..
Grow up by learning!!

Dont try to do anything wrong ... =(
Dont even THINK about it...

I should have done this since last Sunday..
*Knock knock* on my head and *slap slap* at my face. LOL!

To be honest, I dont really have the mood to joke =(
Sorry guys

I've gone crazy!!

2010-01-27T01:22:00.002+08:00

I feel so boring now~
Honestly, every beginning of the brand new year should be an enjoyable one because the CNY is always just around the corner by this time.
BUT NOT TO ME, at least not now.

I feel so boring now that I almost turn insane.
I feel like crazy-ing around for now like there's not tomorrow!!
I feel like doing anything I want without caring anyone feeling XD
I feel like stop thinking for a day without worry anything at all.
So I choose Sunday to be a day for me to gone crazy. LOL!!!

But I hope there is a person or two could company me or else it's not enjoyable enough.

So, let tomorrow be a lucky day cos I plan to ask someone out on that time *cross my finger*

Now, the question is, What am I planning for Sunday??
Movie? Starbucks? Sing k? A big feast??
Let's just do all of them or else it's not crazy enough.

I am gonna laugh till the max in cinema!!
I am gonna shout to the max in the karaoke room!!
I am gonna stuff my stomach to the max on that day!!
I am gonna er...poison myself with caffeine to the max??*cough cough**
ANYWAY I AM GONNA ENJOY MYSELF TO THE MAX ON THAT DAY!!

P.S Hope I wont be disappointed cos I dont have any backup plan.

P.P.S In case I really going to be disappointed I guess I will just crazy myself tomorrow. Maybe just MAYBE, run around the town, shouting in naked form. LOL!!!

P.P.P.S To the person that might be companying that day, please dont be angry with my every action. I just feel like "pour" everything out like we're never gonna meet again.

I wanna....

2010-01-20T04:10:00.004+08:00

Being greedy is one of the human's nature.
But human are always good at making their bad side look like a good one..
So, sometimes they call their greed as, person with a big heart.
I know there is a word for it but that's not the point if not I am going to bla bla bla again.

Most of the time I have hard time in gettin myself to sleep at night and I can guess the reason behind it.
So, just now, I was surfing the internet look here and there then ended up with the blogs I often read, the Kenny Sia, Timothy Tiah and my ex-teacher, Mr. Arthur Wee.
I always have a dream in becoming a successful entreprenuer in the early age like Kenny and Timothy did.
But dream is just a dream.
Unless I have tons of money now or else it's going to be very far from the possible.

Anyway, just now I read one of the post in Timothy blogspot about everything he achieved and did in year 2009.
Owww damn!! I am so jealous of him.
To be honest I would die to have a life just like him.
A beautiful and cute girlfriend by the side, owning a very profitable business, driving nice car, having nice buddy around and etc etc. (Too much to say, LOL!!)
The best thing I like of him is setting up his own business and it is so successful.
I always dream to set up a business myself and become a very successful one in the future.
The investment thingy, how the money works, the satisfaction is priceless when you actually see your own company is growing after puting lots and lots effort into it.

After reading Kenny and Timothy blog, I tried to think of one nice thing I had done in the past 2009.
10 mins past and I couldnt think even one of them ..Zzzzz..
And now I start to feel like I've failed my own life.

I will be turning 22 this year, I think I should have to do something meaningful in my life.
So with the title "I wanna..." above, I am going to try as hard as I could to make at least some part of my dream come true. Yeah~~

I am not a good planner so I guess I will just start by listing out everything I wanna achieve this year.

1) A healthier physical and mental - this mean I've got to quit smoking, start working out and stop the negative thought which I always have in my mind. Of course, quit my laziness as well.

2) At least wealthier than last year - Ok, with 31st December 2009 as the cut off date, my target is at least doubled the money I had in my bank account. LOL!

3) Earn my own 1st pot of gold - I wouldnt be so strict in this since my mum wants me to be a full-time student to finish my ACCA as fast as I could. So, I guess I would just get myself a 1st part-time job in Kuching. The Rm300 I earned in the past few years in KL while working in PC fair, I wouldnt count it as my 1st pot of gold. LOL!!

4) Study harder and play harder motto - Haha!!! What I mean here is that, if I played hard, I am going to put more effort in my studies as well.

5) Improve my Chinese - I know to speak Chinese but never know how to read and write them. I always wish I could write and read in Chinese but unfortunately there's no one teaching me, so I guess self learning is going to take a very long time, I wouldnt say mastering them but at least improve in it.

6) Buy myself more goodies with my own money.

7) Dont fail any of my ACCA subject anymore.

Arrghhh, there are still a lot more to write but my mind just couldnt work properly now.
That's why I said, human are greedy before I start to write this LOL!!
Just hope that I really have nice thing to write when the 2011 comes.

2 mins to go and it will be 5am later.
I think even by force, I really have to get myself to sleep now.
It's going to be a very busy day later as I have to fly back to Kuching tomorrow morning.
There are lots of things I havent done yet.
So, I will just stop here for today.

Goodnite everyone.

It's a little different day

2010-01-14T21:52:00.004+08:00

I bet almost everyone will make their 100th post in their blog a special one.
Yeap suprisingly this is the 1st 100th post in liongteck.blogspot.com
Honestly, I never thought I could make it to the here but even if I do, I will be wondering what kind of thing I will be writing.
Well, I reach here and I dont think what am I going to post is a good thing Zzzz~

It's a cold cold day today.
It is raining whole day and the sky doesnt show a single sign of the Sun will be coming out.
I love cool and cloudy day but not cold and rainy day.
I guess I probably sent the wrong message to the God asking for the wrong weather. LOL!!

Anyway, something different happened today.
I was invited out by someone and I guess you all know who is that person will be.

The story goes like this ..

Yesterday I received the msg asking me either wanna hang out with them in the Starbucks,
But I didnt give an answer so, I just told them I will let them know by today.
Then this noon, I msged them told them that I wont be going anymore, no reason given.
Truthly speaking, there is a little corner in my heart wanted to go and the reason is kinda obvious but .. I know I have to get over with it so, turning them down might be the 1st step I should've take and that is one of my resolution of this yaer.

Nothing happened then, till 7pm.
I was tired, so I was thinking of taking a short nap.
I know I was dreaming that time, not a good one but I dont remember what it is.
Then I was awaken by the phone.
She called.
Asking either I am out or not.
I wonder why at that time I am speechless.
So I just say whatever I've got in my mind, "Er...Should be not going out bah"
So I turned her down once again.

Psstt, in the end, I msged and asked where are they.
Guess, I am still who I am. LOL!!
I really dont know what changed my mind, her voice maybe.
After a bath, I am out, fetching them.

Skip the part what we are doing cos, technically speaking I am not doing anything that should be talk about except than I've done looking through every single DVD and CD in Kenyalang. LOL!

They are done with their thing, so I just fetched them to where their friend suppose to fetch them.
Suprisingly they asked either I want to join them for a coffee in the Starbucks or not but I turned them down AGAIN.
I lied that I've got to rush to the storebook to buy something before it close.
Well, there is no reason for them to not believe so, I was let go.
I didnt really go to the storebook, I just drive around the city and then back home to here... =)

You guys must be thinking why rite?
If it was me long time ago, I would've join them.
Hmm, I wonder why too.

In my last few posts, I said liongteck is a good reason seeker so, I would give any reason for every action I took even though it's not a logic one.
So I guess the reason is...
liongteck can never let go of her.
I know because I had this feeling when saw what she wore just now .. =)
Either it's a logic reason or not , it's up to you guys believe or not.

Life

2010-01-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

Ever take a little of your time to think about life??
Well, most of the time whenever I have got nothing to do, I might think about it and for today, whenever I was driving, my mind popped up with these thingy.
I wish I could write everything I had thought about in here but, when it comes to word, I am totally speechless and dont know how write about them.
Anyway I guess I will just try my best.

I wouldnt start with things like "life is a gift from God or bla bla bla..."
For me, life can be defined in lots of way.
As for now, I defined my life as when I was still a child till I am today, a not-so-grown-up person. LOL!
You see, when I was still a kid, I was kinda naive in everything I saw, I thought and even I felt.
For like you know something, then you thought this is the way it should works but in the end when you grown up, you realised that it actually works the opposite way.
When I was kid, I thought everything is easy as long as you know the way it works which I call it as "The Formula".

But sadly, through every little experience I picked in my way of growing up which I called it as "The Chapters of My life", it doesnt seems to be working as effectively as it should be.
Then I realise life is not as easy as ABC like I thought when I was kid.

Alright, in case that you are lost, I will take one of the "chapters" in my life as an example - LOVE.
When I was kid, I thought human are created in pair by The God which I cant really explain why.
So when two persons are together, they are destinied to be together by the so called "Fate".
Of course when I say two persons, I mean a man and a woman because in my way the gay and lesbian relationship are kinda disgusting in some way which I usually known it as "Man-made relationship" (sorry if I hurt you, no offense , really)
And the formula I gave for "love" was, as long as you love someone + that person love you - all other factors = forever. Easy right?
But then when I'd really experienced this chapter of mine, it didnt work as simple as that.
It's not just you love me and I love you that would be all.
Even though two persons are love in each other, it is just not enough to keep them both forever together.
You've got to add a little understanding, believe and trust, even a little of fun, sometimes a little conflict and lots lots of others (It would be at least thousands or probably millions of things if I really list all of them out, so, forget it)

Great, now you see how complex it will be with only a chapter.
And our life are covered with lots of chapters if we really do think about it.

So, I wouldnt say sorts of things like "Cherish your life", "enjoy it" or whatever..
Because I know for some people it's hard to do so, at least it is for me, a boring type one.
In my life, I fell once in a very big way and it's kinda hard for me to get through it.
Even now, I am not really sure either I've got through it yet.
But at least for now, I know I've got lots of chapters in front of me to go through them.

I know I may fall again and probably a bigger stone or even deeper hole await in front of me, but I made a promise to myself, even by crawling , I will at least my make it to the end of the chapter.

So, boys and girls, at least try your best then you will have nothing to be regret of.
Btw, dont pray for now, but pray so that there wont be any hole or stone in front of you. LOL!!!
At least I know I do so.. HAHA

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

2010-01-11T13:12:00.005+08:00

Last week, I forgot which day it was, I went to Boulevard with the intention to stock up my food.
When I say food I mean maggie mee's', LOL!
I dont cook a decent meal or should I say healthy meal whenever I am in here, Kuching.
I own a hot plate but mostly only for cooking those instand noodles. HAHA~

Anyway, back to the Boulevard.
I walked into the Popular bookshop and thought that I could get myself a new volume of the "True Singapore Ghost Stories" but sadly, it was not there yet =(

Then I spotted this.

Diary of the Wimpy Kid

I grabbed the book and try to read it.
I was so indulged with it till the time I noticed it, I had read at least the quarter of the book.
It was funny and interesting though.
Honestly, by that time, I was in a huge dilemma on either buying it or not.
That's because except than the comics, I have never finish reading any books that I bought before which is very very wasting my money.
I bought "Angels and Demons" which I read only quarter of it, "The Story of the Graveyard Boy" I think I did managed to reache half of it and wait..
"Rich Dad Poor Dad", Alright!!! I finished it!!! LOL!!!

Once I rememeber I actually finished at least one of the book I bought in the past, I know I really have to buy this book.
As for other reason I gave to myself is, "liongteck need a good laugh anyway".
I know, lame..LOL!

Guess what?
I bought the book, not one but the whole set of it.

Ta DAH!!

Ok, I can give you 3 reason why I bought whole set of it.
1st, because it is really an interesting book, so I thought the other 2 might not be bad as well.
2nd, errrr, it is cheaper because one of them costs around RM30 plus and I bought the whole set costed me RM79.95 only, which mean it burns my wallet hole a little smaller.
And for the 3rd, because it looks cooler ...I can show you..see below.

COOL right?
I can read it, I can even use it as the decoration, and the best thing is I can even give it out as a gift when someone b'day is coming.
See? This is what we call one stone killed three birds!
I am so smart. XD

And now, I'm counting how many nights do I have to go through with maggie mee only.
Because at first I already have the shortage in cash problem and now, I am even RM79.95 poorer.

Anyway, it is worth it because the books are really really nice.
I finished them in 5 days only and even plan to re-read them again.
Like I said, it is really really really really FUNNY!!!
Liongteck seldom recommend books to anyone but this one is highly recommend by me!!

Now, who want to have a laugh, come borrow from me!

A reply to whoever I cant reply

2010-01-10T15:42:00.002+08:00

For Saturday, January 9, 2010,

I am sorry that I couldn't lighten you a little even knowing you are not in good condition.
Just really dont know what should I do, what should I say to you.
So, cheer up a bit, no one can be qualify as useless in this world, UNLESS liongteck said so. LOL!!

Sometimes a little conflict may bring better happiness in the future =D

Got conquered by laziness

2010-01-08T15:10:00.004+08:00

Alright, I am gotta admit that I am not a good blogger.
I update my blog almost thousands year a time,
No picture and too much words.

But the great thing about me is I am a good reason seeker!!HAHA!

These days after come back to Kuching here, I begin to busy with my favourite online game again which is the Maple Story.
Plus one of my friend gonna stay here for a week for I dont know what kind of training it is, making me almost dont have very much time is leftover to update my blog.
I need too fetch him go to training and fetch him back again.
To mind you guys, the traffic is almost jammed everyday. =(

OK another reason is...
I AM SO LAZY!!!
Even though my 1st new year hope is to change my laziness, but I think, I still havent make any progress yet.LOL!!!

About the pictures thingy, I am not so into taking pictures of everything I see, I touch or I feel.
So, pictures will only be uploaded if I do take the pictures. HAHA!!
I prefer typing and writing than uploading the picture which I know it makes my blog so not interesting.

Uh, got to go, nature's calling.
Be back soon...or not so soon, whatever.

First writing on 2010! Happy new year everyone.

2010-01-02T22:56:00.003+08:00

halo everyone!
It has been a long time already.
First of all, happy new year! Happy 2010!
How's your 1st day of the brand new year been?
As for me, after so many years of welcoming the new year with beers, this time i didn't had any of it! Yeah!!
No headache at the next morning, no any after-effect of over alcoholisation but still caught in the heavy traffic jam on the night and missed the 1st rising sun of the year due to the over-slept. Lol!
Just hope that this year is going to be a smooth year.

Anyway, there some announcement that i'm going to make before i missed the time which is still consider the "early year".

First, as you all can see here, i've re-open my blog to the public again!
Last year i restricted anyone from reading my blog due to some reasons which i'm not going to say it here.
Anyway, you didn't see me but now you do.
I just wanna make everything different this year even through this little diary of mine.
Hope i can write better things here this time.
There one thing that i want it in me this year, which is the 'i-don't-really-care-anymore" attitude. Lol!

Secondly, i got myself a new phone! Yeah!!
It's not the latest model nor the brand new one.
It's just a second hand n95 8g and i'm using it to blog at the starbucks now.
I used my own money to own this awesome technology which i'm kinda proud of.
I have always want this myself but couldn't afford it but until i'm really looking for it, many of my friends told me that this kind of model is not in production anymore.
That would be the reason why i've spent months searching for it.
I paid rm600 for this but in the end when i told my sis bout this she said she would sponsor me half of it as to encourage me to study hard.
Ok well, i thought, why not? Ha ha, love you, cj..

As for the third thing, last year in the month of november, i got myself a new laptop!lol!
I've been cutting my everyday life costs, saving up every penny i had for years then at last, i can finally afford a new laptop myself. I think that's why my bank account it so dried up these day.
However, after the several years of saving this and that, i think it's worth it to pamper myself with this beauty.
After all, my bank account can still survive till this day thanks to my sis.
At the last minute before i pay for the laptop, she called and told me that she intend to sponsor half of the cost of the laptop.
Okay, do anyone feel envy at me now? Lol!
Btw, the model that i bought is the HP DV3 and i still feel that it's worth the money till today.

As for the forth announcement, my brain is kinda blank for now.
I think it's because of the mosquitoes here flying around distracting my mind.
So, i guess i will just put in on the next list when i could remember them.
Hopefully it will be the great things like i pass all my ACCA exams, having awesome chinese new year this year or even gain some profit for the coming world cup..ha ha!

Alright i guess i'll just stop here for now.
Once again, have a great 2010 everyone.

I have this feeling ..

2009-12-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

the time now is 9.50pm,
Everytime I wake up at the time like this from the afternoon nap,
I will have the very strange feeling,
And it doesnt matter how I am waken up.

Today is not an exceptional.
I was waken up by the call from my mum asking about the home pc thingy.
By the time the phone was hung up, this feeling starting slowly to take over my heart.
I kinda feel very empty from the inside, the surrounding was too silent and very lost in anything.
You see, while I am here in Kuching for my study, I have a habit of sticking to my laptop.
Almost everytime I wake up from the sleep, greeting it will always be my first thing to do.

Then I found myself clicking aimlessly on it,
Just like looking for something..
However, I myself dont know what am I looking for...
Weird huh?

I guess I am just lonely in anyway...

I miss you

2009-10-18T21:45:00.003+08:00

Out of the sudden...
I miss her very much.
It's like suddenly all the memories of her attacked at once, forced into my brain.
Couldn't chase them away no matter how hard I tried.
I guess I am just tired and that's why I feel so weak.
That's why I remind myself of her..
The one who could blow away all of my tiredness with just a simple kiss through the phone.
I really miss you, Ping~
But you will never know this...

2009-10-07T10:08:00.002+08:00

Have you ever try to drive with the watery eyes that blind you from the road in front?
That's because it's a promise to myself that I will never drop my tears for her anymore.
Sigh,,,
I guess..I just miss her .

An Annoucement

2009-09-22T21:01:00.003+08:00

From next on, this blog site will be requiring you guys to input password in order to read the content.

In short, this means that this is going to be a private blog.
Thanks to those who always support by reading the "trashes" I wrote in the past.
Thousands apologies as I always lazy updating it.

Anyway, there's a reason behind for me to do this.
I just dont want to create any misunderstanding anymore.
Ok, I know this blog is the only place, the only device for me to let her acknowlegde something bout me.
But I dont think I have any other choice.

For her,
I wont stop writing anything here..
But I will stop everyone , I mean EVERYONE from reading this ..

Bye guys..

Love Every 10th 20th and 30th of the months

2009-09-10T18:07:00.005+08:00

Like what I've written as title above, I LOVE EVERY 10th, 20th and 30th of the month!!
Why? Because liongteck is going to be paid on these days every month.
If you are asking either I have a job already or what, the answer is NO!
No no no, I am still a unemployed full time student.
It's just that last month, I made a plan on how am I going to spend the limited money deliver by my Mum to me so that, I will have extra to save for a vacation and enough for me to spend whenever I am going back.
LOL!! I won't ask for a single cent from my mum if I am back home, so, I can only depend on how am I going to spend the money here.

You are thinking too much if you think that I am going to expose how much my Mum deliver me each month. LOL!!!

Back to the topic...
Ok, what I did is, deduct the rental, streamyx bill, handphone bill, car fuel and some savings then leftover will be for my food and entertainment.
So, I divide the times for me to withdraw the money from ATM into 3 parts in each month which fall on every 10th , 20th and 30th. XD
It's not much, but if I try not to be so waste, save a little , there might still be some left for the entertainment which I kinda made it for the last 10 days. WUAHAHAHAHA! ** proud proud**

Guess what?! Today is the 10th of September, which mean tomorrow I there will be more money is going to be available in my wallet!! HAHA!
I never like it when my wallet is empty ( who does?? )
HO Ho Ho~
Anyway, wish me good luck to have enough money to pay for my own future traveling expenses as fast as possible!!

=========================================================

Out of the topic..
I had a dream last night which I wanna make it a part of my memories.
It's a very very weird dream and the weirdest thing is I dont find it's weird when I was in the dream. (ok, bullshit)
I kinda like it, I dont know why.

It started with me in my old house..
Like there is some kind of singing competition there and I part of the member.
There are pf two me.
I mean yeah, two , dua, lian ge, me, whose one of them is ME (obviously) and another one is the younger me.
Anyway, it's like a mass singing competition, I didnt sing, but the younger me sang a little and it ended just like this ( I mean the competition not the dream)
I dont really remember what happened next .. till..
I found out that me and her ( yes, she is inside and that's the part I never want to forget) and two other guys are the person who leave the home late.
It's like we try to be as hurry as we can to leave that place because it seems like there is something chasing for us.
Just as we are about the leave the place, she and I automatically hold hands ^^.
I mean automatically!!

At the time we both know we are already not lovers but we hold hands like there is nothing happened.
Till after we left the place, we just noticed that we are holding hands but, we didnt let go of each other till we reach her house ( YES, we ran to her house, because I saw her mum and dad there = =")
I hugged her for awhile but she didnt resist.
She resisted a little when I try to kiss her since her mum was just behind us.

The next thing I can remember is that, we know we were tired and we were asked to go to have a sleep.
Guys were asked to sleep outside the house and the girls to sleep inside with her families.

It's very very hard to describe the situation.
But in the end, I know that I left.
Before that, I tried to let her know that I am leaving but she pretend that she didnt see my signal and pretend to be asleep (Don't ask me why, I just know, there is never logic description in most of my dream)
It's sad but I feel quite happy to think that I am able to hold her hands once again, hugging her and even kissed her.
What I feel that time was, it's worth to have all these in exchange for my leaving.
So, I just walked out the house ...
This time, with the smile on my face..

Then I woke up by the damn shit alarm.
I know what I've written here about my dream is very confusing but you know, it's never easy to describe the dream as accurate as we can.
I tried my best anyway.
I just want the dream to be memorized. :-D

That's the feeling

2009-09-06T21:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, do you ever feel that you are back to when you are still a child?
The child I mean here is like when you are still in primary school or in secondary level.
I mean you are in a kind of situation that makes you feel or remind you of many years ago.
LOL!
It's kind of nostalgic~
It feels weird but comfortable.
It bring back a lot of memories years back then.
Yea, this is what I feel now. I mean now. HAHAHA!

I am listening to the AiFM through online right now.
I dont know what's the name of the song in the air now but it's kind of slow song that makes you feel so relax.
Plus the cool air after heavy rain just now,
Remind me of when I was still in primary school.
Woke up around 6am everyday preparing for the school.
Then my mum would always turn the radio on while helping me and my sisters for the preparation.
If I didnt remember wrongly, it was the station called "The 5th station (DI WU TAI)" that my mum always love to listen to.
That time, I am never insterest in listening to any songs.
So, I never know most the song that been air-ed, but, somehow the songs air-ed are always the slow songs and made you feel kinda relax by listening to them.
That's what I feel right now. LOL!!!!

Ow OW OW OW!!!
How I hope I could turn the time back to when I was still in primary school.
NO worry, no bad memories, no sadness at all.
Parents are always there for you whenever you need something.
Never know what's the love stuff that turn your life going up side down.

What's better than the life of a child who is shower with loves right?

Asking for a change

2009-09-06T01:00:00.003+08:00

Ow, how I wish I could proudly say, "liongteck is gonna start to change his life!!"
Okay, I did thought of it.
Yea, if you gonna ask, do I even ever make a first step about this, the answer will be a big YES!
YES I DID!!
I shuted down my friendster and facebook.
I played the songs I sealed long time ago and listened to it like the normal other songs.
I tried to erase everything off from my mind.
I smiled everyday right after I wake up in the morning.
I keep on eat and eat and eat, so that I am able to go to sleep right after I lie down onto my bed before my mind start playing tricks with me.
I blocked and deleted things in the Hotmail.

So fucking shit that none of those things worked even a little.
Okay, I know I am EMO-ing again and this going to be another emo post.
HAH! Now I know I only write when I am in terrible mode.

I forgot when I did it, it be should about 2 weeks ago, I shuted down my friendster and facebook.
Reason?? I dont like to have them anymore :-D
.......... .... ... .. . . .. . . . . . . ..
Okay fine, the reason is always the same when I made a big decision.
Who the hell will go and stop doing the same thing which almost like a habit suddenly when he or she just feel dont like it.
I gotta admit that there is a lot of beautiful memories in that stuff especially the Friendster.
I can still remember the reason why I start into this thing.
That day when I cant wait to back from the school to open up the messages inside it.
The comments and the messages, I have to say it's bit pain in my heart when I shuted it down.
But hey, I gotta do something, right?

How I wish I have the flashy thingy in the "Men In Back" movie.
One flash, you forgot everything.
The best thing about that is, you can even alter your memories.
By then I would ask someone to flash it onto me, erase my 6 to 7 years memories and re-write it with happy stories.
Life would be so wonderful by then.
At least, I could forgot who I've met in my life....
You know, it's hard when sometimes sad keep haunting your mind. LOL!

Sigh...

Sometimes, I feel like I might one of the loneliest person in this world.
You might not able to see it from the outside, but if only I could get you inside of me, all you could see is the absolute darkness.
Sometimes, I feel that I am wrong to think that what all girls always want is love. In fact, what they want is a guy who doesn't make them cry.
Sometimes, I feel like I might be the ugliest and also the worst guy on earth. I must've done something that makes you leave me.
Sometimes, I hope I could ask for a hug or a kiss from you since it's impossible for me to ask for another chance anymore.
Sometimes, there is a little hope in my heart that you could see all what I've written in here. It's not to make you feel guilty but to let you know that, my heart is always empty since the day you left.

If it's in the past, you might get annoyed after reading everything I've written in here.
You never like me to write any emo post at all, not even one. HAHA
Even though now you are far away from me, I wonder the reason why I am still writing all these, is you as well.

2009-08-23T19:04:00.003+08:00

I walked down the stairs with the intention to have a bath.
I drew a fake smile on my face pretending I know nothing at all.
I tried to clear my mind up and re-input others new data just to forget the things I always tried so hard to forget.
Without realising it, I was sitting on the sofa in the living without the lights on.
Yes, I was all alone in the house.
Somehow, I feel kinda comfortable in the dark.
At least I couldnt see anything, hear anything and know anything anymore.
It suits me, isnt it?

I am like a frog which fall in the deep well, no matter hard I jump, I just couldnt get out of there.
It's like when you love someone so much and when you go too deep inside, there's no way out when it ends.
I know it's easy to forget a person or to throw away everything and start a new one.
I know because I see it through most of the people in the world and especially you.
I am just too stupid to learn , to master the skill which it's easy for everyone else.
My mind just stubbornly couldnt accept the only choice I have.
If there's any secret formula or step that I should know to master the skill, please do let me know.

Because no one like the dark or to be the frog in the well.
Every second, to wait for a miracle to pull me out of here.

I always know how high is the sky, but I couldnt remember how big is the world anymore, since the day I jumped into this well myself....

liongteck dont like to dream

2009-08-15T04:48:00.003+08:00

You must be "wow" if you see this..
I slept at 11pm just now.
LOL!
I dont know why I am so tired for the whole day that I even lost interest in playing my favourite online game, Maple Story.

Well, I really need to admit that it really feel good to sleep that early.
It would be better if I don't have any dream(s) just now.
I dont really like to dream happen on me when I am sleeping, no matter it's a sweet one, or nightmare.
LOL, I think I have lost the ability in classifying either it's a good or bad dream as well.

Anyway, it's expected that I will wake up early if I sleep too early.
I am correct!!
I woke up at 2.30am just now. (By the dream)
It's a weird dream.
Remember in the past, whenever I had this kind of "weird dream", she will be the only one listening to me telling it.
When I say "weird dream", most of the time it involve her inside, doing unexpected thing, saying words that most likely not going to happen in the reality.

Actually I had 2 dreams just now.
I woke up by the 1st dream then I continue to sleep again.
After that 2nd dream attacked, I woke up and I couldnt close my eyes again.
Well, both do involve her.
Or should I say, most of the part is about her.

The weird thing is, I can remember almost every part of the dream that I dreamt.
I wont say it's a nightmare.
But, like I said, I dont really like to dream, especially the "weird dream".
And that might be one of the reason why, I dont sleep early at night..
Because most of the dreams I dreamt, she appeared in it.

"あなたの夢が叶ったことがありますか？ "私はまだここに苦しんでいる

2009-08-09T06:16:00.003+08:00

It means,
"Have your wish come true yet?" I am still struggling here.

I have been siting here alone, all night long until I realise the sun is about to rise.
It has been expected that I am not able to sleep again last night.
My mind is full of everything, so mixed up that I couldnt find a way to sort it accordingly.
I know I've a decision to make.
Between the two diverged road in front of me, I still not brave enough to take a step ahead.
It's obvious of what type of road I should take and yet I am still doubting about it.
I always know there is no such thing as "easy road" exist in this world.
But Dear GOD, you've just put me in the worst situation ever in my life and forgot to pull me out of there.

Today is 9th of August which is your b'day.
I wonder do you ever realise this is the 1st time ever that I was there celebrated it with you.
I always wish I was there for you when you are still belong to me.
But things just happened every time and stopped me to having these kind of special days with you.
At least, in this year, my wish is granted.
A so-called surprise party which I've always wanted to do it just for you.
I guess it's just too late for it.

Sitting here with the silent world,
Making everything about you and me flashed through my mind.
How you and I was once so in love with each other.
And how, it was terribly ended.

Remember the words I've told you which trigger you and me together?
"It's also a kind of happiness to be loved isn't it?"
Remember how the 1st time I hold your hand and asked "Will you give me a chance to be with you?" and you nodded.
Remember how happy I was and I told you that I wanna let the whole world about this??
Remember the day when I hold your hand in the shopping mall wherever we go.
Remember the 1st Chinese New Year's Eve we spent together at my house when we had our 1st kiss.
Remember when we are so worried about each other to get bored when we are with our friends and we keep asking each other "Are you boring?". And for most of the time, we just shooked our head and say no. Because it was never boring as long as we are by each other side.
Remember the 1st song you made for me on the day when I went outside to continue my study?? You asked for the title for the song from me but in the end we gave the title together as the "Love Notes".
Remember the time whenever I was back from KL, I fetch you back from your school after the study.
Remember sometimes when I was about to fetch you back, you asked "Are you going to send me back now?" And I said "no" everytime because I wanna spend as much time as I can just to be with you.
And do you remember, the time when we both keep teasing each other are old and we nicked each other as "Ah pek and Ah mu"

I remember that I keep saving up my money just because I want to bring you to a trip with just you and me. But in the end, I just cant hold to buy things for you whenever I am back from KL with the fund.
I still rememeber there was once when I back from KL, the first thing I did was to go and find you. And you gave me a kiss right after you came into the car.
I remember that there are once we had an arguement and you suddenly felt pain around your chest, I was so worried and wanted to send you to the hospital, but you refused and ask me to send you back home. On the way, you suddenly told me do not ever not to ignore you. On that time how I wish I could hug you so tightly that I never want to let go for the rest of my life.
I also remember that you put on your best make up and dress which you hate the most just for me on the last day before I went to KL.
And I always remember the time ....when you called me as your "Dear"

There are so many things to say, so many things to write it here.
What we had together, what we did and what we had been through all together.
It will never be enough time and space for me to pour everything we did together out here.
But everything are just memories when our time had came to the end.
Honestly, I thought after all these days and months, I've already give up in getting you back into my life.
Then I realised, what I did all these times after we broke up was just paralysing myself and when the effect is over the great pain is still there and it didnt fade even a little.

Whenever I drop my tears for you, I always hope that will be the last time I do so.
But the "last time" just never come and I never fail to cry whenever I am alone thinking the past.
God are still being mercy on me, at least he made my tears company me whenever I am sad.

"Why are you taking me to go through the most memorable journey, then left me with the most painful souvenior"

Happy birthday. Dear..
This might be last time I will be saying this.
How I wish you could hear this from my own.
I will try my best to do my part in granting one of your 3 wishes..
As your best birthday gift you will ever receive.

Then I smiled..with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Update:
You are like bird which love to fly up high in the sky.
The higher the better and it would be the best to be higher than anyone else in the world.
I realise whenever you are with me, you couldnt open your wings and fly.
Even if you could, there's always a limit of how high and far you can go.
It's like me, tying you with a rope restricting the height and the length of your journey.
Now, I know you've left me for the better person who could bring you up high into the sky.
So high up that you couldnt see me anymore.
I know how much you are in love with the person since that person is the reason which you could finally know how beautiful is the world watching from the above.
However, if there is a time when you feel like falling..
I just want you to know, I will be the first person to be there to catch you from the below.

Good Morning!!

2009-08-04T08:24:00.002+08:00

Good morning everyone.
Had a nice sleep last night?
If ya, then good.
If no, say hell ya with me as we are in the same boat.

I suppose to have class now but I decided to skip.
I am totally tired after the several sleepless night.
Besides, this early morning, I have already looked through my notes that whatever will be teach by my tutor today I think I at least know what to do with it.
Anyway, for me, I think "study hard and a get a good job" is not my type.
I dont wanna wake up early morning everyday and rush for work, get paid and becoming the government slave by paying a huge amount of taxes.
What I think is "Study hard and get a good job" theory doesnt work in this world anymore.
Maybe it works for the past but not now.
Do you all know even doctor is struggling financially in these day??
I am looking forward a business, an investment that required a little knowledge of how the money works.
But of course, my studies still will not be negelected.
It's kinda important anyway, at least for my parents, that is.

It's already 8.30am, I suppose to be on my bed now.
You must be thinking, not going to class, then what the hell I am doing here and not go to bed.
Nah, it's just that when I decided to skip my class, my so called "sleepy" is not there anymore.
I guess at least my rebel part is functioning quite well.

Once again, Good Morning everyone.
Wish you all have a nice day.

When the cold and hot combined

2009-08-01T18:54:00.004+08:00

I typed and I deleted it.
I typed it again and I deleted it again.
I know I have something to say.
I know I have something to ask.
I know I have something to write it here.
And I wonder how am I going to "re-decorate" it and "wrap" it nicely before presenting it.
I just don't want to create any trouble, any misunderstanding, especially not causing any sadness.

As I know, hurricane is formed by the combination of hot and cold air.
Hurricane messed up and destroyed anything wherever it goes and passed through.
And for human's feeling, the combination of hot and cold, it brings confusion.
Confusion messed up one's heart, making your day from worse to worst, brings you one of the worst feeling you ever had in life and you couldnt decide what's the next step or action you should take.
Scare of making the wrong decision, you will lost the thing you want forever.

Yesterday, I lied my head down onto the table, looking blankly at the wall.
I was not clearly knowing what's on my mind, what song am I listening to.
All I know, I was pretty down on that time.

I reach out one of my hand..
Trying to catch the light which forced itself in from the outside.
When everyone knows it's impossible to do so and so do I.

But somehow, I get to know that, there is no impossible as long as you try hard enough and never give up.
I guess there is some of the things that you just couldnt reach and get no matter how much effort you've put into it.
And by that time, give up could be the best choice you've got to make.

However, when the confusion sets in...
You will never know what will be the next step that you should take.
There will be too much "if" occur in my mind ..
Is that a sign ? Or..
Is this just a bump on the pathway? Or..
Is it the time to give up?
If ya, how ??
You just couldnt decide.

Sleepless... AGAIN?!!!

2009-07-28T07:02:00.002+08:00

It's 7am when I am typing this!!
YES! I didnt get to sleep at all since last night.
The worst thing is I will be having my 3 hours class at 8am later.
DUH~ I wonder what is wrong with me.
I just cant get into sleep no matter how I forced myself.
At first I thought I was just hungry (I found myself have a habit of taking supper before I go to bed [I think that's why I am getting fatter zzzz]), but I did get off my bed and consume a big cup of milk and some CoCo Crunch.
Obviously, it didnt help at all.

ARHHHHHHHHH! SOMEBODY just come and smack my head off till I faint.
I just hope I wont be sleepy at class later.
You see, since the day I decide to take ACCA, I know I am gonna face a brand new level of education here and my aim for this semester is NOT to fail any of the subject.
And to achieve that, I need to stay focus in the class as much as I can.

Guess what...
Instead of looking ways to get me into sleep, I think I have to find ways to keep me awake now.
It's time for me to prepare to go for class. =(

Make Me STFU!

2009-07-25T20:53:00.002+08:00

I think I said something wrong again.
I think I made something wrong again.
I think I thought something wrong once again.
~* long long sigh *~

I am really suck in advicing and making people feel better.
I only know how to made thing worse.
But the worst thing is, I only realise it when it was all too late.
And *poof*
Hmm...I guess I gained myself another months of ignorance or probably forever.
I really really should've just shut the fuck up when something happened.
I should not even talk, try or even think about it.

Since ignorance is falling on me, I guess I'm gonna be all alone again.

I always want to watch "Drag Me To Hell" since I watched the trailer while I was in Singapore.
And after the "I-dont-know-what-the-movie-is-about" Harry Porter, my desire to watch "Drag Me To Hell" is getting stronger.
Well, there is not even need to think how is the situation gonna me by the time I watched this movie.
At least I am sure it's not like what I had imagined on last Wednesday.

Broken part.

2009-07-22T12:15:00.004+08:00

I know I am awake yet still lazy to open my both eyes.
Lazily dragging myself to reach for my handphone with my half opened eyes.
12.00pm.
How I wish the time is freezed and stopped at this moment because the next move had bring my feeling down to the lowest point.
I read something I shouldn't.
I knew something that I suppose not to know.

I should've known all these and expect for it.
I keep reminding myself not to think more than that because I know I am going to put myself in trouble if I do.
I thought I am ready for it.
And yet..It still brings me a great disappointment.
I couldnt reject as I know this is what I've been waiting for.

Such a good way to push me down from the hill.

I am not blaming anyone except myself.
I should've know all these is going to happen.
But why now?

Now, I wish it never come, rather than putting myself in the situation like this.
But why I still counldnt say no to you ?
Sigh..
I should've make my day through like the normal one.
Even though it is a meaningless one.
Humans always regret last heh?

I need my cigarette..

Somebody call 911!!!

2009-07-18T21:04:00.004+08:00

LOL!!

Ok, I know I know, MIA from the blog for a long long time again.
It's just that recently, my time are so pack with something else.
My studies and MAPLE!! LOL!!
If you do read my blog, you should know how crazy I am with the Maple.
And!! When I say I am busy with my studies , it means I am back to Kuching AGAIN!
Sigh.
Honestly, I feel that I play Maple just to pass some boring times away but, once I start with it I always find myself play till the late at night. Hehe~
Cause you see, I don't really spend my time with Maple if I am in Sibu.
Anyway out the crap.

Somebody call 911!!!
Heard of this before ?
If you do, you should know what I mean.
IT'S ONE OF THE SEAN KINGSTON's SONG!
FIRE BURNING!
haha, I kinda like the song and I wonder why.
No! I didnt meet or see some hot ladies dancing around me.
NO no, it's even worse for you to think that, somewhere around me is burning, that's crap.
I just that I've fall in love with this song since I first heard it from the hitz.Fm

If you like this song as me do, yea! We are in the same gang here.
Here, I found this in youtube and decide to post the song here.
Hope you will like it.

P/S, Currently, I really need 911 to save me out of this boring-steaming-4-wall-sided-room. There's a probability that I might get to be one of the source of the fire disaster if I stay in here long enough. Dial for me please, anyone?? Haha

Reap Me, DEATH!!

2009-06-01T00:12:00.005+08:00

GOSH GOSH GOSH!!!

15 hours from now, I will be having my F6 exam!!
And yet, I am still not in mood to do my revision yet!!
So, far I had just done doing half of all the topics!!

ARHHHH!!!!

I am so so so in trouble now!

This is what I feel now.

Erm, no, that's not me.
But what's the different? Zzzzz~

Grrr~~
Inside my mind is full of TAX TAX TAX and those stupid sections and Acts.
You see, I moved away my laptop from my table so that I will have more space for my notes while doing my revision.
On the other hand, I just thought that I can concentrate more on my revision if my lappie is not in front of me.
But HELL YA!! I finally realise that the power of attraction of my lappie is not wise to be underestimated!
May be moving it away from my sight wont do any help, perhaps I should leave it at Sibu next time??
Nah, KILL ME if I really do that.
I rather die. LOL!

Anyway, see this..

Look Ma, I am really doing my revision.
Those are the summaries of what I had revised so far.
Erm, ignore the Pepsi from KFC.
That's my today's lunch
No, I didnt waste my time to go to KFC to relax myself.
It's just that I had my lunch late and don't know what to eat, so, I went to KFC to have it take away.
WTF!! Fuck the KFC thingy.
I am in miserable and super-emo condition now.
So, Ma, dont say I didnt try my best. I DID, OK ??

Now, back to the notes...
*SOBS* =(

What's in my mind..

2009-05-29T19:15:00.002+08:00

It has been 3 nights in a row I had almost the same dream.
It's kinda weird.
I dont feel like how I felt like before.
No sign of the increase of the heart rate.
Didnt wake up in shock.
And my pillow is still dry.
I probably have already get used to it.

It's too easy to illustrate how I spent my day yesterday.
Just imagine, a laptop, a pillow and the floor.
And my day was over until the sun rised and reminding me that it's time to go to bed.
LOL!
I slept at almost 7 today's morning and woke up around 1 in the afternoon.
Dont "wah" or "wow", it's kinda normal for me.
I just cant sleep like normal people do. I wonder why.

As for today, I went out to my college to collect my exam docket.
Then I drove around the city in my car for hours.
LOL!!!!
It's not that I am wasting the car's fuel.
Just that I dont feel like going back to the four-wall-steaming-room yet.

You know what, I start listening to the radio, I forgot since when.
Hitz.FM, MyFM, and Ai FM.
Maybe it's cause of I am getting sick of hearing the same songs over and over again.
Ok, these stations may be not playing the new songs everyday but..
At least some of them, I 've never heard it before and I like it.
It's kinda enjoyable what.

Today I stick myself with Ai FM.
I forgot what song it is but I know I am listening to every single lyric of that particular song and trying to apply it into my life.
Almost everyone do that what.
And there's no doubt that my mood went down to the lowest point.
And when it happens, almost everytime, she will appear in my mind.
It reminds me of the way she look at me at the very very last time I saw her.
The eyes, the face and the lips..
I will never have chance to tell her that I really miss her and I seriously know that.

However, you know what, I am learning.
Learning how to give up a thing.
In the past, I thought giving up is a bad thing.
I mean, it's an unnecesarry thing to be learnt in anyone's life.
But in the end I realize that, in real life, you need to learn to give up even though you dont like to do so.
And when I say learn, I mean you've to keep trying to do so.

So, today, when I was down, I smiled and told myself that, I am just tired.
You know , pressurized by the coming exam, sleepless night and the loneliness are what I am fighting in these days.
Then, I told myself not to think anymore.
So, I concentrate in driving and think of other things.
AND GUESS WHAT HAD COME TO MY MIND?
Maple and Restaurant City in facebook.
HAHAHAHA!!

GOSH, so so unfortunately, Restaurant City is under the mantainence now.
And I cant log into Maple, or else , I will be going to skip my revision again.
So, I come to here. LOL!!!

I guess that's for today.
Gonna start my revision.
I hate to study!!
URH~~!!!

My 21st Birthday Dinner

2009-05-14T14:36:00.018+08:00

I suppose to post this earlier since it happened in last month but..
You know liongteck is always a lazy bug so, here it is now. LoL

My both sisters and I went back Sibu for Ching Ming's festival that time and they decided to celebrate my 21st birthday earlier since they wont be with me on the 25th of May.
So, they actually treat me a big dinner in Cafe Cafe (I've forgotten the exact date, sorry).
All I remember was, it's the last day before I came back here to Kuching for my hellish life again.

For now, I'll just let the pictures do the talking.
Before that, there's one other reason why I post this late.
This is because I'm still deciding either to post this blog or not.
I DONT LOOK GOOD IN ANY OF THE PICTURE TAKEN!!
I AM SO FAT!!
So, that's why =D.
Anyway, for now, enjoy my ugliness.

Our cousins and two of my sisters' friends were invited to the dinner as well.
Here, I am going to say that I'm sorry for coming late that night.
When I reached there, they had actually finished their meals and got to wait for me to finish mine. **paiseh**

Ok, forget about the small details like what we had eaten that night.
We move to the main event.
And here there are.

One of my cousin,WisWong, suddenly talked to me right after I finished my spaghetti.
Honestly, at the time, I had sensed something was not very right.
Why suddenly she would talk things about ACCA with me?
Then suddenly ...
Severals staffs in Cafe Cafe came up with a cake and my siblings begin to..

"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to ba-liong-by-teck (they cant decide decide either to call me baby or liongteck, obviously, they didnt do any rehearsal)
HAHAHAHAHA (then they laughed)
HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO YOU"

What a b'day song.
BUT STILL, I love it XD.
What A Surprise!!!

TA DAH!!

My birthday cake!!!
Sense something is wrong??
Yeap, it should be 21st and not 21th. LoL

I made my wish which is still almost the same as last year.
But this year, I added some for my education part.

Cut my cake..

And I had my own piece of cake now ^^

I tell you what, this is going to be the best cake I ever had in this year.
I still have no idea who bought this cake and where is it came from but I had thought that it was from my sisters because.. (forget it) and the word "Bro.liongteck" on it. THANKS A LOT!!

Before I had my chance to really enjoy the cake.
Suddenly I felt something is not very very very right.
My cousins suddenly stay far away from me and laughed,
One of my sis' friend suddenly said "I had this before and that's the end of my day"
I turned my head left to see what are they looking at and ... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??

My eyeballs were going to drop when I saw this then I stared back at my cousins.
They laughed and said "This is our tradition, everytime when they were someone's b'day, he or she gonna sip down this thing"
Then I was like, OMG!! A Flaming Lamborghini = the end of my night!!

But tradition is tradition, I respect that and plus, there is nowhere I can run also.
So we gathered around and watched how the "campfire" was set up.

Then a picture, before I sip down this thing.

Next thing to happen is ...

GLup! glup!
There was fire on it which cant be seen in the photo.

and GLUP!!
Then a greeny liquior was poured down to put off the fire before I finished everything in a time.
I felt like a dragon which almost breath out fire from the mouth.
It was so bloody hot and dry.
And my head started to feel dizzy after a few minutes.
I am not a good alcoholic, I seriously know that.

Then next thing I know was,
Cam-whoring time.
They really know how to choose the right time to cam-whore I tell you.

First is my 1st cousin, WisWong.

Later is my 2nd cousin, Hermes (sorry bout the blurry pic, that's the only picture I found in hundreds of them)

Then my 3rd cousin, Zankle.

After that is my 1st sister, CJ

Next is us, brothers and sisters.

Later I was sitting on my own chair eating my cake to keep my alcohol down, as they kept..
Cam-whoring

More photos

Then my pity brother, Andy was dragged inside as well.

They are evils!!
They dont stop just like this.
These just dont satisty them yet.
So they, came to me and dragged me out from my chair ..

And had pictures with them will I still in my dizziness.

This is the funny one.
See how red is my face? HOW UGLY I AM??!!

It's was one of the best b'day dinner in my life.
I wonder when was the last time I actually celebrated my b'day with my families.
It's really nice.
Well, thanks to my cousins and my sisters' friend who attended the dinner.
Especially my sisters,
This is one of the best gift I ever had.

I love you guys~

How I wonder the coming 25th of May is going to be.
Alone in Kuching with my hellish life?
OR
Back to Sibu gather with my friends?
OR
Back to Sibu and snoring my day off on my bed.
OR..
The other way round ... =)

Am I that bad.

2009-05-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

I wonder how many days had passed.
Wonder when was that time.
But the one same question still linger inside my mind until today.

"Am I that bad?"
I am still looking for a definite answer.
How am I going to answer this very question.
Who is the question to ?
What's the matter?
Why are you asking this?
Who invovled?
What makes you asking from me ?
No clue at all.

Now I am wondering,
How if I am the one asking the question.
Oh,..
Am I that bad?
Then why ... ... ......... ..?
Anyone?

Yummy

2009-04-30T20:13:00.005+08:00

I've been so craving for laksa in the past few days.
Especially the one at my own hometown at Aloha Coffee Shop.
I lurvvv laksa.
But not that very hot type, liongteck don't like it too hot.
Served in warmy condition and lots of laksa soup.
I am not talking about asam laksa, I never like asam laksa.
I am talking about Sarawak Laksa.

Still remember in the past while I was still studying in KL,
Everytime when there is semester break, then I went back Sibu,
I never miss to eat my favourite laksa.
Morning breakfast = laksa
Sometimes, lunch = laksa
Even night time sometimes also, = laksa.
No, not even a big rain could stop me from eating laksa, instead it is the best time to have it.
Well, thanks to the person who companied me as well =D

Unfortunely in the past few days, the weather was so bloody hot.
Several times I was awaken from the sleep due to the hot hot air.
I even sweat after a bath.
So, it's like suiciding if I am still eating laksa at those time.

But TODAY!! YEAH!! It's cloudy whole day today.
The weather is so cool!!
And the rain finally came at around 4 pm just now.
So, it's pretty obvious what I had for my lunch today.
I went to the nearby Expert Coffee Shop and had this takeaway.

Yummy.!!
Well, I wouldnt say it's nice if compare to the one at Sibu.
It's a bit too hot for me and the soup given is only just the right amount for the mee.
I prefer the soup level should be at least more then the mee.
However it does temporary satisfy my carve-ness for now. LOL
I can go for the 2nd one but not anymore, else I'll be gettin' fatter.

Out of the topic,
This evening, my mum called and said that my brother's bag was stolen while he was taking part in the running competition of his school's (Sacred Heart, English) sport day today.
There is a Sony Ericsson W910i hand phone, a Sony PSP and his Body Glove wallet inside.
So, whoever saw anyone in Sibu carrying a black with a number "25" logo Addidas bag, please kindly inform me.
I am very sure that there wont be a 2nd one appear in Sibu as it's a limited edition bag which was bought in Singapore.
So, whoever is carrying it, that person is gonna be really sorry for it.
As for that useless -no-parent-taught kid who steal my brother's bag, good luck so that you wont be found by me, or else you gonna pay for a high price for it.
I curse your 18 generations are born without ass hole!

Not as simple as "Pain"

2009-04-26T00:57:00.003+08:00

It feels kinda weird.

I could hardly hold my tears on.

I wouldnt say it doesn't hurt.

I wouldnt say it's not a good thing as well.

But if I'm front of you, I would pretend to smile like I don't care at all.

I would turn my back on you,

Till you couldnt see me anymore,

And burst into tears.

It's a good thing to know, she really does love you.

At least I know, you are happy with your life with her now.

But why am I feel like a shit here.

This kind of feeling is like breaking my heart apart.

"Love someone doesnt mean to own them,

But to wish her happiness is what a real love is"

It's not easy to love a person.

Especially when you see her are so in love with someone else.

Today I learnt a lesson.

Not to mention her in front of you.

Because I admit,

It really hurts..

To see the one who makes you smile is not me.

Teach me how to forget to love you.

A day without laptop.

2009-04-25T16:10:00.009+08:00

Yesterday was so so so teribble.
My lappy suddenly broke down and couldn't get into the windows no matter how many times I restarted it.
At first I thought it might be the Mircosoft found out that I am not using their original or registered windows but then..
After a thousand times of restarting , knocking here and there, unplug this and that, I finally found the source of the problem.
It's the hard disk.
My lappy couldnt detect the hard disk, so, that's the reason why it can't detect any operational system.
If it couldn't detect any OS, how the hell it's going to get into windows? *bang my head at the wall*
Well, I was not very sure of that but I was thinking of if I unplug the hard disk and plug it back, will it works ?

UNFORTUNATELY, I dont have any screw driver, so I cant open the casing on the back to re-plug the hard disk.
EVEN MORE UNFORTUNATE thing is, it was already 9.30pm, where the hell I can buy myself a screw driver?
Now, I am SCREWED!
I knew I shouldn't have wasting time knocking here and there and restarting the lappy.
So, I look around my room to look for anything I can use to screw these screws.
And I found my long lost fork. LoL!!
Since I am not using it anymore, so, I'm not gonna waste it.
It's quite difficult at 1st but I made it anyway.
Until the last screw, I gave up.
Why ? CAUSE I'M SO DAMN UNLUCKY THAT THE LAST SCREW IS LOCATED SO DEEP INSIDE AND MY PITY FORK CAN'T REACH TO IT!!
Screw back everything and this is what my pity fork had become.

so obvious that I cant use it anymore. HAHA

No, I was not going to give up yet.
I changed on my cloth, grab my keys and decided to try my lucky at the 7-11.
But in the end, I end myself up here.

Know where is this place? NO?

Okay, how bout this!!
HAHAHAHA!!

I wonder what made me drove so far away from the 7-11 and came to the airport for the Caramel Frappucino.
It's just that while I was driving, I felt like something was calling my name and controlled me.
By the time I was conscious, I was trapped.
It was happy to be trapped anyway. Lol!!

Anyway, after the coffee, I don't feel like going back yet.
Probably because I feel like if I am back, I am going to be alone again.
So, I decided to have a late movie.

I came to Cineplex.
It was so hard for me to decide which movie to watch.
So much of them and all of it seems so nice.
In the end I choose this.

The Snipers.
I know how out dated I am.
This movie had been released for so long time and I only get to watch now.
I know I know, because on that night, this movie was shown in Hall 3 which is the biggest hall in Kuching Cineplex, but, there was approximately around 17 persons included me only were watching it.
This proved how many people had already watched it and I just get to watch mine now.

Anyway, I LOVE THE MOVIE VERY MUCH!!
It was so so so so NICE!!
So interesting!!
Two big thumbs UP!
I even hold my pee just not to miss every single part of the movie. LoL!
liongteck felt so satisfying with it.
And I plan to go for another movie again tonight.
But it's kinda sad to watch movies alone especially when you saw everyone is with either their friends or partners. *sobs*

I left the cinema and finally came to the 7-11.
No, I didnt forget anything about my lovely lappy yet.
But guess what, 7-11 do sell screwdrivers but..
Non of the size is suitable for my lappy's screws. *sigh*

I went back home, tried not to look at my lappy..
Got myself on bed, read as much comics as I could
And I forced myself to sleep.
I SURVIVED till this early morning and I rushed to Everise to buy screwdriver as soon as I opened my eyes.
As you can see, it's all fixed now ^^.
Luckily I didnt bring it to computer shop for servicing it, or else I'm gonna pay another RM30 for nothing and yet gonna lost everything in my lappy again.

As for now, I am still deciding either to go to watch movie again or not.
If there's anyone wanna company me, my answer will definitely be a "yes".
Ok. So now, who wants a movie with the pity lonely liongteck ?
If no, I think will just stay a home and deal with my Maple again. Lol..

Old Love Song (copycat-ed)

2009-04-20T23:45:00.003+08:00

I read WIS WONG's blog bout the title of the Old Love Song today.
After reading it I feel like writing one bout the old song too.
So, Wis, you wont mind me become a copy cat right ?? RIGHT ??
Okay, I know you won't.

Old songs huh? hmmm...
Honestly, sometimes I prefer to listen to old songs instead of the lastest one.
If you really notice the old love songs' lyrics, you will find how meaningful it would be.
I would say most of the lyrics are better then the songs these days.
I also couldn't agree more to say, they actually sing out the feeling we'll have in real life.

So, like WIS did, I picked one old love song for this post as well. =)
Ok, it's not as old as the one she chose.
It's average old.
Present to you all...

BenDan - Jin Sha

This song is kinda meaningful in my life.
It's just after a long 3 years of waiting, this song actually made my life sparked a little and became a red hot fire.
However, it has been put off now.

LOL!!
This may sounds stupid but I actually dreamt about writing her name all around the wall and even the ceilling.
Till' I woke up (still in my dream) , I was shocked myself
That time, I really get the feeling of how empty of this room is.
I tried to erase them off before my mum notice.
However, it's not erasable and my mum actually knocked on my door and came in.
Before I see my mum expression, I woke up in the real world.
Ok, now laugh whatever you want.

Anyway, Dad!! I dreamt about you this afternoon while taking my nap.
I burst into tears while saw you sitting on the back seat of the car.
Baby miss you.

Ok now, Zankle , I am still waiting.
For the pics of the dinner of course. LOL!!

Completed one subject!!! And the ramdonness.

2009-04-12T00:28:00.006+08:00

Yeah! I had my final exam today.
That means from today on, there will be one class less from my weekly timetable.
Which means I am totally free on Tuesday ^^. Yay~~

Stupid MPW 2153 Moral Education.
Stupid Mata Pelajaran Wajib.
Till now I still can't get the reason why we are compulsorily to take this subject.
No, I don't think I am going to be a very moral person after studied this.
I don't think I need to know more about other religion thingy because I respect anyone who respect me too.
I don't think I need to know more about sex relationship,
Definitely not what Bush are thinking.

Anyway, I think I did pretty good in the exam.
In fact I don't think I can do any better than today.
I burnt few days midnight oils because of this and my day is totally turn upside down.
It makes me sleep late at night and more in the day and my face is like a zombie now.
Seriously, I don't have my notes to study for this subjects as I haven't got my student ID yet.
Can't blame me!! I did applied for mine but the problem is the "high tech" INTI's machine is always broken and they postponed the date from the early till the end of the semester.
Eventually, even after I did my exam already, I still dont have my ID yet. How effecient they are.

I hate the guards of the gate in front the INTI.
I always think that they are hired just to stop any student's car from coming in.
For example like this morning, I drove my car in and stopped by him.
I told him that I got exam need to attend.
Then he replied " I know you got exam but later Inti is going to do something something"
Know your shit! There's never once you let me in even as a visitor instead of student.
Stop acting like a boss and be flexible.
You should know how shit is the parking place provide to student.
AND FUCK YOU INTI! Prepare a good parking place for student please.
I paid you more than what I've paid in TARC last time.
And the services provided is much better than this.

Now you know how much I love my college.
Anyway, I had my 1st and brand new Gucci wallet from my sister, CJ last time when we're back to Sibu.
It's as my upcoming b'day gift. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
And you too Ping (my 2nd sister), for your Gucci bag and nice dinner. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH ^^.
Behold!!

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Hehe, I didn't bring the Gucci bag since I don't really use it while I am here.
I leave it at home so, I don't take any picutre of it.
By the way, I had my sister's N93 as well since she bought hers Iphone.
And fucking shit it's not in good condition.
It just shut down suddenly whenever I press on it.
It's still not fixed yet and I wonder what's the problem.
It's not the system since I paid RM30 for nothing to format it.
I was told it COULD be the battery.
And NO WAY I would spend another hundred plus for that "COULD".
So, it means I still dont have a good camera to take pictures.
Anyone know a good technician to introduce?

As now, out of the randomness

This is the picture I've taken while waiting for someone to check-in hers flight.
Yeap, it's in the Kuching airport.

Treasures are not always Happiness

2009-04-08T22:59:00.003+08:00

I found something while I was "digging".
I wonder should I be happy or sad about it.
I am now like a pirate who found the treasure map but unable to read the map.
Or, "should I even read the map?"

Yeah, I am still me, non-stop digging for your news..
Since I am unable to ask "How's your day?" anymore.
This is one of my attitude that you hate the most in the past.
You might think that I am still a busy body.
But in fact, I just want to know more bout you, even we are already apart.
Does this prove that my words are true when we argued bout this in the past?
Nah, it's not important anymore.
True or not, it doesnt matter anymore.

Like I said, I still care.
I know the words are not for me.
It's a lie if I say I dont feel hurt while trying to read the "map".
I've never seen you like this before.
Maybe you are truly in love.

It hurts.
But I will keep on digging.
It's not that I want to.
It's because I cant stop.
Pirates never stop treasuring.
Even in the end he got nothing.
Doesnt matter the sadness or happiness.
The Pirate And I just cant stop digging.

不是我不想听

2009-03-23T19:47:00.002+08:00

Wonder why I just couldn't fall into sleep.
I was like a pig, turning here and there in my bed, finding the comfortable position to force myself into sleep.
The only different was, I am not in my dream like the pigs always do.
*sigh*
I guess the Sand Man isn't coming to find me tonight to pour his magical sleepy sand into my eyes.

I just lied there and pretend that I was sleeping...
When suddenly, I started to hum songs.
I always find mysellf a trouble every time I couldnt fall asleep.
And yes, this time, I still. LOL!
No No, I am not humming that particular song purposely.
It was just, erm..I dont know why, it just started like that.
And by the time when I am so into humming that song, my mind began to work.
I was thinking,
Why this song?
Because you know, it's a very old song.
Plus, when I was still a kid, probably around kindergarden or primary 1, I am scared of this song because the singer of this song passed away at the time, and my two freaking sisters love to use this song to scare me whenever my parents are not around.

But then, I just realised..
It was also the first song, I heard from her..
Yue Lian Dai Biao Wo De Xin ('the moon represents my heart' by Theresa Teng)
Well, not to me of course.
It was when I attended his brother's wedding dinner with my father,
She sang this song for her brother and sister-in-law.
I forgot when it was, but I remember, that time, we have not talk a single word to each other yet.
And we only started to chat to each other after a few years later. =)
Honestly telling you all, I was already attracted by her at the time.
And I thought it was just a so called kid's love, so I never try to let it bother me at the time.
But somehow, I've never forgotten about her yet.
Not till now.

She has a nicest voice I've ever heard.
She loves to sing,
And she plays piano so well.
Too bad, I wouldnt have a future with her singing and playing piano under one roof.

Yea, by the time all these thing glanced through my mind, I started to emo again.
I woke up, and on my laptop.
I opened a folder which I've never open for such a long time.
Songs..
I always know I've sealed up the songs that would remind me of her.
It's always there, just, I never go and open it.
And I thought after a few months or years passed by,
Someday later, I can enjoy the beautiness of these songs again.

不是我不想听,
只是怕听了会想起你..

LOL!

2009-03-11T00:13:00.004+08:00

I found that I havent laugh or smile for today.
Like usual, I am all alone..for today too.
So, what do you think can make me burst into a laughter?

However, few minutes ago, something happened while I was chating with my cousin, preferably known as WIS in MSN.
This is so funny and I couldnt help laugh for few minutes just now.

I'm gonna share with you all here.
For your all information, 钰钰 is my cousin, Zankle and wiS wonG is also my cousin.
They are both sisters.
Now scroll down

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It shows both of their private mesasges in MSN which read..
wis: J*bai Lek, cant u stop sucking n bitting the chicks feet????????!!!!
zankle: jib*i sis......... its nice bitting the chicken feet ok!!im hungry

Arent they funny? LOL!

The Beauty of The Nature

2009-03-02T20:41:00.008+08:00

After a long freaking 3 hours class,
I walked out from the college to the car park. (INTI College in Kuching provide lous'iest' car park outside the college compound which I might blog about it some day. :-P)
I was kinda tired and yet I've got to hurry up my steps since it's gettin dark.
However, every little bit of my tiredness was gone after I saw these while I was still on my way ...

BEAUTIFUL isnt it ?
These are the pictures of the sunset which I stopped by and snapped on.
How should I describe this ? Hmmm...
"Looks kinda sad, but it's beautiful"
ALRIGHT, I found another job definitely doesnt suit me.
What a way to describe. LOL!

But, beautiful is not a bluff..
It's not an ordinary sunset.
It's a sunset created by God, to blow away all my tiredness.
Thank you for letting me to see how beautiful this world is.

What a day

2009-02-26T23:39:00.006+08:00

I've always been wanted to do this.
Until today, I just don't really know what kind of mood came and I just did it.

Today is Thursday which is the only day in weekdays I dont have class.
So, like the usual Thursday, I wake up in the morning and the 1st thing I do is saying "helo" to my laptop.
Till it's the time for lunch, I went out to hunt some food, come back with the loot and swallow it down with the anime playing in front of me.
And I took an afternoon nap like how I always did in the past Thursday.

THEN SUDDENLY....

This is here when the "wind" of the mood blew by ...
It was like I suddenly opened up my eyes, I woke up, I reached for my towel, I bathe then I came back to my room ..and I start doing this..

I MASS CLEANed UP my room.

Haha!! okok, may be it's nothing for you guys but I've always wanted to do these then I was just too lazy so mostly I just sweep the floor anyhow.
But this time, I even re-arrange everything in my room. (except for the cupboard since it is too heavy for me)
So, I guess this prove that LiongTeck will never break his promise. It's just the matter of time and eventually LiongTeck will do it.
Anyway, this is how my room look like now.

It's nothing I know, still look messy I know..but least, you see...the floor..
It's so much cleaner now.
What can you expect a guy can do?
I guess I dont really care about the small details, so, I just dump any small small things aside. LOL

Now I've a big space in the center of my room and and ..from now on, I can play with my laptop without having any distraction of the sunlight~ (previously, my table was located near to the window, so I've difficulty looking at screen of my laptop since the sunlight darken the graphic)
The best part is, THIS..

Now, in front of my table, I've a big empty wall so that I can paste some notes onto it to pressure myself and force myself to study.
Just like...THIS!

ARGHH!! PRESSURE!!

Passing thru the past.

2009-02-19T20:59:00.007+08:00

Ever heard of how many workers in M'sia are needed to fix one lightbulb of the lamp post joke?
4 persons.
1-installing the lightblub
1-holding the lightblub
1-holding the ladder
1-WATCHING FROM BELOW

Well, that's not the main thing I am going to write today.
I just feel kinda bad that I write nothing about my previous Chinese New Year.
So, at least, AT LEAST, I will write a little tiny part of it.

Ok, here it is.
How many persons are needed to cook a big plate of delicious Chinese New Year Crab?

Answer: THREE!!!
Why?
Because....

One - holding the big plate of crabs

One - putting the crabs into the wok

And one - do the cooking ^^

Technically it was 5, cause another two do the chopping and cleaning the crabs.

Yummy!!
When is the next Chinese New Year again?

Dammit!

2009-02-15T03:41:00.003+08:00

This is SHIT!
I am soooooooo FUCKED UP!
I hate this feeling!!
I just hate it!
Go away dammit!
ARHHHH!!
I suppose to be in my sweet dream now
And how the hell...
I am not sleeping!
My mind was playing tricks with me...
And FUCK! The moment I found it , it was too late..
I had already burst into tears!!
Damn..This time, it's really gonna be..

Valentine's Day is not my day!

2009-02-14T22:55:00.008+08:00

Valentine is so so so so so ...ARGHH!!
I hate Valentine's Day!!!
I am so so so so so so NOT HAPPY !!

I just got back from the town a moment ago.
Told you I really really dont like to be alone for today.
So, I bathe, I dressed up, and I drive my little Kenari out ALONE!
Ya I know I am still alone, but but, at least I am not physically alone when I choose to go the crowded place.
I hate crowded place, but I guess tonight is going to be an exceptional.

So, I went to The Spring.
But the shit thing is, ....
No doubt, there were a lot of couples tonight. (everyone should expect that)
Anyway, since I am so unhappy today...
I did a little damage to my wallet to compensate my so called "UNHAPPINESS"

First I came to Starbucks.
One of my favourite place where I can relax and clear everything in my mind.
Somehow I find this place is just a place for me to settle down my mind.
However, I am not going to sit there since there are lots of people.
I just ordered myself a Caramel Frappucino and take away =)

Total Damage: RM14.20

Then I went to opposite Starbucks and pampered myself with some donuts.
I mean Big Apple Donuts.

I love donuts and I never get to hate it.

Total Damaged: RM14

As for the next station..
I promised myself not to have it anymore since I am getting fatter.
But hey, no one is going to like me, so, who cares =)
I have myself a set of Big Mac, the regular size of course since I still have a dozen of donuts need to settle.

Total Damaged: RM10.15

Well, I plan to save money to give myself trip to somewhere after I have enough of it.
But somehow I think I am gonna wait for a bit longer for it now.
At least a total of RM38.35 longer.
So, if you are asking "Liongteck, are you happy now?"
The answer would be....

NO!!!!!

**Sigh**
I am still end up alone anyway.
Ma, I feel like crying now.... Sobs..
Seriously, I miss you quite lot =)

**Every girl deserve a flower on Valentine's Day..
**You will have mine,
**So, before the day ends, here's yours ~{@
**I am sorry that I couldnt give you a real one.

Valentine

2009-02-14T16:42:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine,
Be my Valentine.

Words that I could hear and see everywhere for today.
Yeah, today is Valentine Day.
The day when both couples get to love each other more.
The best day to create a new relationship as well.

Well, I dont have anyone to be my Valentine.
So, it's as expected that I am going to be alone in this room, like usual.
But somehow, on this special occasion, I really really dont feel like to be alone.
At least for one day among the 365 days, let me be with someone I want.
Hahaha, guess I am going emo again.

Anyway, I tried, I asked, I invited,I waited, I planned, I hoped then I got disappointed.
No, I am not disappointed of what I had planned to go wasted.
No, I am not disappointed of after waiting nothing for so long time.
No, I am not disappointed for this and that.
I am just disappointed that...
In the end, I am still left to be alone...

Happy Valentine to everyone,
You may have my wishes as I dont really need it.
Happy Valentine to you too...You can have all my luck, wishes and ****

FARK YOU!

2009-02-04T13:01:00.003+08:00

I am such a lazy person that I dont even bother to update my blog frequently.
Not now too, of course.
But I never stop reading other people's masterpiece (blog) till this thing happened.
It makes me so so angry that I wanna scold ..

NIAMA CAO JIBAI!

to that stupid brainless idiotic.
I dont give a fuck who you are, Malay or Iban or even Indonesian (I know cause he is using broken Malay language in his blog)!!!
OK, **cool down**
This is what happened,
As usual, I surfed for nice blog to read in nuffnang, and I came to this blog..
It reads "cool tricks: Image terbang"

Once I read the title I know it must be something posted by those Malays and so, due to my curiosity of what type of this person can write, I clicked on it and see what's inside this blog.
The funny thing is even got idiots go and nanged it.
Well, I couldnt take print screen of "its" blog, but I am warning you all not to open it.
Cause once you closed it, your internet explorer will non-stop appear which link you to that idiot website.
There nothing else you could do once it happend except than press your restart button.
"it" must be so desperate that no one read his blog then use the dirty trick to increase 'its' traffic.
This is the link of his blog --> IT'S Blog
Well, when I think rationally, it's kind of normal cause you know,
Those "type" of person can do nothing good..
They got brain, but never use it in right way, so what's the difference calling them brainless?

BIIIIIIGGGGGG FLOOD!!

2009-01-31T01:28:00.001+08:00

FLOOD!!!!!!!!
BIG FLOOD!!!!
And I am stuck here in the cyber cafe~~Arh!!
Someone save me out from this island!!

I'm Not An Active Blogger

2009-01-23T17:11:00.004+08:00

Just like how the title mentioned above..
I am not an active blogger...

Nah, suppose to write something about the coming Chinese New Year..
YEA, I LOVE!!!!!! CHINESE NEW YEAR..
I took some pictures using my handphone and suppose to write things about it but ....
Due to my useless and rotten brain, I forgot my card reader..so,..
I missed the chance, lol..
Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year everyone..
Had my best Chinese New Year in the past 2 years ago..
And a lonely one last year..Pray for the best to come again this year!! Yea...

Early morning in Sibu, my lovely hometown.

2008-12-30T15:52:00.011+08:00

It's an unsual day for me today.
The reason is...I woke up at 10am today!!!Hahaha~
It's a rarer than a rare thing for me to wake up so early in the morning in Sibu.
Unless I got something to do, or else I will be still snoring on my nest.
Well, I was just thinking, after being a lazy one for such a long time since I back Sibu, maybe I should just wake up early sometimes or else I am really have to migrate to US soon.
I have forgotten how freshy is the morning air in Sibu or is it just because of the rain?
Nah, I love morning breeze especially after the rain.
It's just...so ..... freshy! (ok, I used the same word again)

The 1st thing after I forcibly get myself out the bed is, laying back onto the sofa in the living and I never fail to do the same thing every time. I know should not be proud of this but...who cares?!
It's a holiday what.
After a randomly selected movie from the Astro called "A sixteen-years-old mother" (it's a very very nice movie), I prepared myself and fetch my brother to the old house.
My next programme suppose to end up here to write something in this but I got asked by my friend to have lunch in somewhere else.
I wonder what type of wind blow by, I just got the feeling to drop at least some words here. =P
So, I actually come here to Tanahmas just for this.

It feel so nice..
Early in the morning, cool air, ...
With my lappy, one ice lemon tea, one sky juice,..
Alone with a quiet enviroment ( suppose to be like this! but not after some ah bengs came)
And do my blogging..

I dont know the usual morning in Sibu but today, the traffic at here is teribbly heavy.
Lots lots of cars, and moving so slow like they actually own the road.
I am always complaining about the Sibuans driving style.
They drive so slow that they actually block your way and make you cant even have a chance to overtake them.
They drive so fast that just to be in front of you then back to the tortoise speed.
NIAMA one, it's like, the combination of kiasu or kiasi people.
They just want to be the 1st by slowing other people down.

Anyway, a brand new year is just 2 days ahead.
Gonna say bye bye to 2008 and HALO!! 2009!!
Honestly, I don't know why I dont feel as excited as I should be.
Nah, probably my plan to celebrate the brand new year is not gonna happen.
Tommorow will be the New Year's Eve.
What will be your programme for the countdown night?
I haven't know mine yet. So Sad...
No, if possible, I wish it won't be any beers or alcohol but, hey,..
I am in Sibu...what event doesnt have beers?
Right? Sibuan, RIGHT?!

ARGH~ I guess I will just stop here for today.
The Ah Bengs spoilt the mood here.
I wonder since when a place like here has already become their nest.
Here suppose to be considered to have a certain level of class place in Sibu.
But, it makes no different like a coffee shop with their loud and rude voices.
I bet they cant even say "Tanahmas" properly.
Instead of TANAHMAS, they read it as, Tanamak!
Oh my dearly God, please save them.

P/S: I just got a call from my mum asking me to be back early later.
My uncle gonna treat us a dinner tonight!!!
My cousin, Connie got a strike A's in her PMR!! wow!
CONGRATULATIONS, CONNIE!! You did better than I did!!

WOHO~ Better back to prepare myself now.
I am definitely lack of sleeping.

突然很想你

2008-12-24T02:55:00.006+08:00

I wonder why I am so depressed today.
A little nervous but I am still grabbing a hope tight enough..
Enough until I doubt either it's still a hope or just a disappointment.
I am just that too stupid to hope for something that I know it will never come true.
2 years studying in KL,
I missed out a lot of special occasions to be with her.
I wait, wait and waited..till the day I can finally say "I am back"
But it's all too late..
Maybe it's already a past tense in my life but I just couldn't chase away this kind of feeling.
Tomorrow is Christmas.
Today is the Christmas Eve.

How I wish I could tell her, I am lonely without her by myside.
But I can't say these to her.
I might scare her away and I won't be able to see her anymore.
It's hard to wear a mask to deal with the living ever since she left my world.

I guess, at least I did invite her to the party.
The decision will be in her hand.
There should be nothing to be regret of.
Or I should say, there is nothing else I could do anymore.
I don't want to create any misunderstanding in her life.
Definitely don't want to cause anything unhappy in her life.
No, I don't want to break apart a happy couple as well.
I knew that kind of feeling.
It's like a curse and it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

There is once, I choose to love over my own wealth, my own education, my pride and even my future.
But now, maybe I doubt to love or keeping my pride.
"保留着自己的筹码，才不会输得太彻底"
I am not hundred percent to know how to read this but at least I think I got the meaning.

I am not stupid, I am just in love..
A person do stupiest thing when he or she is in love...

Presents to you all...
-突然很想你-
enjoy...

Christmas in the air!!

2008-12-22T03:37:00.011+08:00

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!
One of my favourite day in the calender!!
20 years living on this Earth, almost everytime like this are HOLIDAY!!
Guess what, this would be my 1st time celebrating Christmas in my own hometown, Sibu after so long time studying in KL~
Woho, Christmas mood are almost everywhere.
LURVVVV CHRISTMAS!
1st time seeing so much christmas tree haves been set up in Sibu~
To be honest, it's quite rare to be able to see these in a "Bird wont lay egg (direct translate from Chinese)" city like this.

BEHOLD!!

THE PICTURES!!

These are found inside the Parkson, one common christmas tree, one white christmas tree and a happy snowman.
And for these below, are set up at the outside of the Parkson at the ...what's that place called again? Argh forget it, just enjoy the pictures~

I love this one the most~!!! Pure White Christmas TREE!!

This one not bad also. Just the word "Farley" spoilt the entire tree.

Obviously sponsored by the supermarket called "Farley"

I'm gonna give credit to this one!!

Look clearly, it's made from bottles!!

I repeat, lots of greeny bottles!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~~
Everyone definitely gonna has someone in mind to celebrate the special day with the most~
No doubt, I got mine too but I guess my chance is lower then lowest~
Anyway, it's Christmas!
How's the most of the Sibuans gonna celebrate it?!
Of course CLUBBING till the last drop of the beers!!
Polices are all prohibited on the night!!
Have 2 tables booked in Q-bar!
CHEERS!!

p/s: liongteck wants a high pixels camera so badly.
Last time I witnessed a robbing and I couldn't catch any pictures due to my handphone doesn't have flash light~
Who gonna sponsor me one?? Christmas is coming and you all know that!! Wahahaaha~

p/p/s: The robber was caught and beaten so badly then handed to the police. Serve him right!

p/p/p/s: THE CAMERA!! SHARING IS CARING!

E.X.A.M S.U.X!

2008-12-02T17:15:00.009+08:00

Arh~ Exam !!!!
I wonder who the hell started this kind of stupid education system?!
Niama one, nothing better to do is it??
Then go make other people' life more difficult.
I personally feel that exam doesn't prove or show any qualification in any sort of job field.
You passed the writing exam then you are qualified, what kind of theory is that?!!
How if someone cheat in the exam?
Or or, you expect me to study like a Nerd?? Everyday look at the books that full of words with a pair of spectacles which is as thick as the Oxford Dictionary.

HAHAHA! NERD!

Nah~!!
What I feel is that experience is more important than anything to qualify someone to a certain of job.
Certification might be important but experience is priceless!!!
If I am da boss, definitely I will hire someone with more experience.
I just wonder if that's the case why don't just the organisation provide training instead of asking us to pay to sit for the stupid exam.
We are paying to get headache ourselves!
ARghh!!
Yes, you are right, I am going to sit for the exam in these few days
And I am complaining cause I am lazy to study.

KILL ME!!

I hate books!

I hate notes!

How I wish I am the Sylar in the Heroes series movie.

Cut the ACCA examiner's head and suck all the knowledge.
Then everything's gonna be alright!!!!!
WUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, the dream stop here..
back to the hell (the notes).

SOBS!!

My Maple Story

2008-11-02T00:51:00.011+08:00

HALO!!
Haha, it has been a long time since I update my blog..
reason??
MAPLE!!! Lol~
Call me a Maple freak as you like, I dont really mind.
What I am going to write now is about Maple too~
So, unless you are a mapler, you may want to click the "x" button top right of your laptop or continue to read this~ Your choice XD
2 more levels and I am going to turn my Maple's character job, from a Fighter into a Crusader.
And by that time, I am gonna hold a BIG COOL SWORD on my arm!!
Well, who doesnt feel proud when his or her effort actually bear fruits right?
Even if it is a small one, as long as you satisfy with it, you are still happy. *smile*
Guess what~
Just now I look into a forum about Maple (yeah!) and I found some videos made by some ex-Maplers~
It's damn nice and touching as well!
It's not easy to level in Maple.
It takes long time , great effort to be high level and you gonna feel proud of it.
People might say you childish or what-so-ever but that's the only thing a kid could do and to show off. Haha~
Here are some nice vidoes that I watched

I rated this as no.1 video made by CHUBB519, an ex-Mapler

Contributor : HolyCow
A lots of Crusaders are Zaking`~ (Zakum is among the high level boss in Maple and a extremely high level and bunch of people to beat it to get Zakum helmet which is the best helmet in Maple)

Next will be,

Contributor : TamTam
His path of being a Crusader.

There are a lot more which are better and I couldnt post it here~

By the way, as your information, you need to become a Warrior(lvl 10 and above) from a beginner then a Fighter(lvl 30 and above), after that a Crusader(lvl70 and above) and lastly a Hero(lvl 120 to lvl200).
Mind you, it's not easy to Leveled especially for those who are not patient enough.
I survived till level 68 now, and still going ~~ HIAK!

Did you know reason I choose to train a Fighter?
Not because the skills are cool, the other jobs are better, for example like Thief.
It's because I can become a Hero at the end ^^.
It look nice, when you get to hold a sword and fight till you become a Hero.
Like always how in the fairy tale story, a knight with a sword to protect the princess and become a hero.
Yes!! Playing this, you can create your own fantasy!! Haha~~
It's like you've becoming a master of a genie and make it to grant your wish.

P/S: Dont ask me why am I choosing a female character, I have my own reason for that XD

Anyway, these days I am so into it.
It just feel nice when you reached a target you wanted.
I guess that's the joy of gaming and no one is too old for that.
Wish me enjoy MAPLING ^^!!

Born A Warrior,
Grow As A Fighter,
Live As A Crusader,
Die A Hero.

Happy Mappling for Maplers.

Saturday Night (18/10/2008)

2008-10-18T20:28:00.002+08:00

I saw her today.
To be more precise, I saw her about an hour ago.
At at supermarket where I was about to buy some daily things for myself.
At the main door, before I went into it.
She smiled to me.
And I realized that was a smile which I have been longing after for so long time.
A smile that make me smile back from the bottom of my heart in the past.
And yet I was such a jerk that dont even know how to react.
I just walked by and keep on stealing the sight of her.
Am I really such a idiot ?
I just never thought that I would see her again.
In the building, I thought I was very sure of myself of what I want to buy but in the end, I left without purchasing a single thing.
My heart was jumping so fast and my mind was just a blank.
To be honest, I almost cried out, but I hold myself down and show no weakness in front of everyone.
I just found that....I really miss her a lot.
I hate myself for this but I was happy to be able to see her again.
I took a long route back home.
Everything about my life poped out in my mind.
I know, after so long time, I am just paralyzing myself in things I do everyday.
Online games, comics, Starbucks, ....
I was putting up a mask to show everyone that I was laughing outside.
In fact, tears are still flowing in the inside.
You just cant make a scar go away, dont you? Lol...
Almost every night before I close my eyes to sleep, I am thinking about, what should I do if I see her again.
Just never expect I really would see her again.
It's true, I am really really happy to see her.
If there is a chance, I really wanna see her again.
But I know not the opposite side.
At least, I know that's the thing I could do to not appear in front of her anymore.
I just cant deny that....
I still miss her ...so so much!!

Pictures Of Me~

2008-10-15T01:07:00.011+08:00

First of all, I hate taking photo unless I'm camwhoring without anyone around and it will also only last for at most from 2 to 3 photos as well.
Why? Well, it's obviously that I never look good in the any photos.
That's one of the reasons why I hardly present myself in photo-type to public and not even in my friendster.
But since you are asking of a picture of me, JLun

This blog is for you!!

But, instead of giving you just only one of my photo, I will be giving you several of them! Lol~!

I care about other people opinion more than my own, so, Lun,

Be my judge and pick the best for me ya!!

Super bright face (taken in the care while I was waiting for the traffic light)

Super duper bright face - taken while I was driving (not the same day the 1st photo)
p/s : the car was still MOVING!!

Picture of me in the class - trying so hard to concentrate.
Taken to look at my own desperately trying to concentrate face.

Last picture - self-camwhoring picture. HAHAHAHA!!

Need Eye Mo??

I did it again! Lol~

2008-10-11T03:27:00.003+08:00

I am dead, I am so dead.
I got class on this morning at 8.30am and yet I am still sitting here with my two wide opened eyes!!
*sigh* Something is very wrong with me.
Anyway, now, I am so into the two songs that my sis had just sent to me few hours ago - "We are one" and "Ready to love".
Both songs are slow and relaxing songs.
Of course liongteck love these 2 songs and even plan to burn it onto a CD someday later.
For those who want the songs, remember to ask from me on the MSN, sharing is caring and I always care. Hehe...
To be honest, I am quite down for today.
Nothing happen, it just came and attacked me suddenly. Lol~
Everyone is telling me life's wonderful.
So, I open my eyes and heart wide to see and feel how wonderful it is.
I tried to enjoy as much as I can but I just dont feel good if I burden my family just because of that reason.
It seems so meaningless.
Maybe I just feel a bit lonely here.
But I never want anyone to company me either.
I guess I am too stubborn on my own.
Haha~~
Better day for me when the sun rise!!
At least make me smile from the bottom of my heart for once more.

I was tagged!

2008-10-07T02:43:00.003+08:00

More than a week days ago, I got tagged by JLun .
Sorry Lun, I was slacking back then.
Think of doing this after few days and I've regret in doing so.
These days or weeks I won't have any internet access because I had move to a new place. Hahaha..
And now I've got to steal the line from the Starbucks to do you tag! ^.^
Forgive me since I am so sincere in doing this. Lol~

~So, here are the tag thing~

Starting time:

• 2.55 am (see, so late at the starbuck!!)

Name:

• LiOnGtEck (with liong and teck stick together)

size:

• Erm..UK 9

What are you wearing right now?

• t-shirt with short pants

Where do you live?

• kuching and sibu.

Favorite Number/s

• should be 365, 300 and 730.

Favorite Drinks:

• Caramel coffee blended!

Favorite Months:

• Should be erm, May, August and December

Have You Ever......

Been in a bath tub:

• Sure la

Swam in the ocean:

• Yup. For few times.

Fallen asleep in school:

• SURE!! Almost my daily job when I was form 4.

Broken someone's heart:

• I was the one got broken =.="

Fell off your chair:

• Got, but it was a long time thing already.

Saved e-mails:

• Yeah, my F8 subjects, my tutor is using e-mail for our answers.

What is......

Your room like:

• In sibu one, ALWAYS tidy (because of my mum) but at Kuching one, hmm..not most of the time tidy ! LOL!

What's right beside you?

• Stuffs, a lot a lot of stuffs =.="

What is the last thing you ate?

• The Duck Rice from DA-LIGHT!

Ever Had......

Chicken pox:

• Sure, while I was still a kid. Terrible one and I still got marks and scar on my face.

Sore throat:

• Who doesn't wei!

Stitches:

• Yeap, right on my head, a big one.

Broken nose:

• nope

Do You......

Believe in love at first sight?

• Guess so..but it' s still kinda "fairy tale"

Like picnics:?

• SURE!! I like outdoor activities.

Who......

Who was the last person you danced with?

• I forgot. Should be few years ago..while I was still a scout in my school.

Who last made you smile?

• The Starbucks' staff. I need to smile and say Thank You right?

Who did you last yell at?

• Myself. I had gone crazy by the time, yelling alone while I was driving.

Final Questions......

Hate someone in your family?

• I never hate anyone in my family! SERIOUSLY!! They love me and I love them.

Diamond or pearl?

• Diamond, of course. It worth more money. Hehe

Are you the Eldest?
• No. I am the third in my brother and sisters.

Today did you......

Talk to someone you like?

• Nope.

Kiss anyone?

• No.

Get sick?

• Still healthy! Still need a long time for a coffin. But almost bored to death.

Talked to an ex:

• no

Miss someone:

• Almost everyday

Last person who......

You talked to on the phone?

• My lovely Mum.

Have a crush on someone:?

• No

What books are you reading right now?

• Demon and Angel (slacking for quite some times already).

Best feeling in the world:

• When I know I am loved.

Future kids names?

• never think of it.

Do you Sleep with stuffed animals?

•No.

What's under your bed?

• Just air. This question scares me. It's making me imagining things =.="

Favorite locations:

• HMmm... I wonder..

Danced a slow dance with someone you didn't even like?

•Nope, never

Who do you really hate?

• My tutors

Ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with?

•Sure. Now still.

You lonely right now?

• I am. TERRIBLY LONELY! Save me!

What time is it now?

• 3.23 am. The night is still very young. HOHOHO!

Lun, I DID IT! Wuahahaha...
But I got no one to tag.
Impossible to tag back you right ? right?
Hahaha ...

~SUGUS~

2008-09-30T23:26:00.004+08:00

Erm....I overdid something again?
I rememeber I just opened it 2 hours ago..then then ... =.="
OMFG!!!!!

Gotta' stop for awhile~

2008-09-30T00:10:00.008+08:00

In the pass few weeks, all I remember what I did is Mapling.

I spent more than 12 hours EACH DAY in this online game since the day I start on it.
Especially when I start to train a new character (Fighter).

Everday I start my day with Maple and also end with it.
Most of the time I didnt realize the sky has already gone dark and sometimes I DIDNT EVEN REALISED THE SUN HAS ALREADY RISED till I saw a message had poped up from the chat box in the Maple saying that I've already Mapling for more than 12 hours =.="..OMFG
Guess, I really have to stop for awhile already.
To be really honest, since I spent most of my time in Maple, it slow me down from doing everything.
Or I should say, it finally bring me some side effects. Duh....

1st of all, my studies....
It's very very very normal for me to feel sleepy everytime in the class but because of Mapling till late night so much and sometimes till the sun rised, it makes me even sleepier in the class already.
Look what I did in the class.

A list of Maple's weapon that I know.

Secondly, my eyes bags.
Undescribe-able deep since I slept late most of the day and sometimes even watching the sun rise =.="...
NO PICTURE AND NEVER WILL ^.^) Hehe..

Third, it slowed me down from looking for a room to rent.
Spending too much time on Maple, making me lazier to go out to look for the room.
So, gotta owned myself a room later than I expected.

Fourth, my eating schedule is teribbly messed up..
Guess how many time(s) I eat each day ??
Once if I dont have any class and twice if I have.
Why?
Because I am always hungry when I concentrate too much on studies, so, I will look for food everytime I am given time to rest.
And as the 2nd meal or the day I eat only one time, I will only have my stomach filled never earlier than 2am.
Reason? Easy, MAPLE!
The worst thing is, since it's already too late, the only place I can get some food to eat is..
KFC AND McDonald.

I hate da clown

Pity my wallet and you gotta see a fat LiongTeck soon.

And for the last..
Apologise for not dropping a single word in this blog since I was too busy for my Maple.
Guess what, sometimes I even dreamt of I was Mapling and I successfully hunted some rare items =.=" ...
No choice bah , who ask me so lonely and boring here.

Anyway, I've decided to stop for a day today and I did everything I should in this whole day.
I asked for the room that I wanted to rent already and gotta go and look it this week,
I washed all my clothes,
Tried so hard to concentrate in the class,
Went to Saberkas and have my 2GB ram back after warranty,
Supplied myself with some sweets, choco and waters since I cant boiled water here,
And, write a blog which is the last thing I should do for today.
By the way, I still cant escape from eating the fast food today.
I just came back from the McDonald for dinner..wuahahaha..
It's raining what.. >:-P
So, what should I do now ..
Ok, Dota...lol..

Worst Mc D's service ..

2008-09-13T23:51:00.004+08:00

I survived through a night without electricity in the past 2 days.
It was teribby hot and the worst thing was that it was already 3 am and yet I haven't eat my dinner yet.
So, I decided to drive through the darkness and came to a Mc Donald around Tun Jugah there.
Due to that I was too hungry so I forgot to take any picture of it.
Anyway, to be really really honest, it is the worst Mc Donald I've ever been.
Why? I don't know, I just don't really like it there.
I made a quick take away order; a medium set of Ayam Goreng Mc D and 2 banana pies. I lurv banana pies~!!
It took me more than half an hour to get my order as the staff there told me that I have to wait for the banana pies~ Shiit ...It was bloody cold inside =.=
What makes me dulan is that, all the staffs there were doing nothing but talking and joking around and yet I have to wait for so long time to get my food.
That's not the main thing that make me really really dulan..
It was these :-
When I get back home, I prayed for the electricity to come.
The God finally hear my prayers and He gave me electricity.
So, I sat down on my mattress...open my laptop...searching for a movie to watch ..
Open my Mc D plastic bag and 3 big lines suddenly showed on my right forehead.
I order 2 BANANA PIES and guess what I got ..

TWO APPLE PIES!!
I dont like apple pies and I hate apple pie..
I still can remember the staff ask me to wait and said " We dont have enough BANANA PIE, so please wait for 15 minutes"
She said BANANA PIE!!!
If you got so many things to talk and joke with your friends, why dont you get your job properly done 1st!!
I know you are Puasa-ing but dont get me involve!! I am 100% pure chinese man!! I have my right to eat what I want! I want my banana pies...not apple pies!!
Over-reacted??*
Due to that reason, I decided to skip the pies and go for my Original Ayam Goreng McD.
The meat was prefect but there was one thing annoyed me.
Before I went away from the Mc D, I asked for more sauces, " Can I have more sauces?"
And the fat staff answered "Yes, sure" *Took a handful packets of sauces and put them into the plastic bag*
She really gave me a lot..but ....

Niama, no tomato sauces is it??
And guess what...The electricity went out right after I finished my Ayam Goreng *sweat*
So, I ate the french fries and the pies in the dark ...So pity..