My another negative feeling!

It has been so confusing lately. I'm confused about the day and night. Confusing bout' the wrong or right. Guess, what? LiOnGtEck's lost again! Someone can just give me a hand and pull me out from this maze and definitely I will be very grateful with that. I can grant you happiness, if only there is still some left in my pocket. If it's empty, would you just pull me out from here please? Probably, I've used up all of those happiness already.

The feeling of loneliness is unimaginable. Sure, it's a negative one. It's so cold that every pieces of my heart are frozed into ices. My world is so messed up!!!

Trying so hard not to show any emotion on anyone. Even to the one I trust the most.

Sometimes, I really wonder a lot. Why do some people just can't listen to one who near them instead of believing the others' words ? No mattter how you tell them, they just wont listen but one sentences from the others they believe it like that's the only true or right thing!! Hey, evils are wandering in this world, some idiot could just say something and make your relationship to the worst but you still treat them like angels! Sucks!!

Human change according to the enviroment, experiences and etc. Some change through words by believing others idiot words!Some people can get fed up so easily, and changed with out giving you a warning. Just like putting you into a big maze and gettin' fed up to instruct you how to get the hell out from there after you failed several times. What's worst, they'll just leave you alone in the middle of the big maze.

Things happened in my life recently and I guess those will become one of the history which would change everything in my life. I mean everything! It's not wise to mention those here, but really feel like to find the one who I trust the most to talk to! But hey! There's only one and I can't do that. The histories are warning me everyday while I still could feel the pain every time my heart beats.

** The Sky Is Raining** (ignore this, outside the window are still with sun)

Hey, I bet most of the people when hear songs, they get attached by the lyrics. Liongteck hears songs recently. HAHA!

Hereby, I will show some lyrics I like which is alredy translated into english ^^
(liongteck dont know how to read chinese but hear chinese songs, not writing chinese but translated chinese in to english. Don't laugh when you know the songs but the meaning I am writing here is not the same as the original lyric of the song. Just treat it as , Liongteck thinks like tat ^^ ) Thank you!

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First of all, Gary (chao ge) - bei pan ( betray )

How can I say goodbye to the feeling of missing you..
You knew it more than me,
Still want me to say it clearly.
Love someone too much could boost someone braveness crazily.
I betrayed myself,
To complete your wishes.
…..
Heart,
Got a sentence to confess.
Me,
Except you who else can I talk to?
Just before you close up the door,
Please turn back and have a good look.
Those memories,
Are they still available?


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English song's by Hilary Duff - So yesterday

You can say you bored,
You can act real tough,
You can say you’re torn,
But I’ve heard enough,
Thank you! You made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear?
It is not gonna happen here.

P/S : and the whole songs of Someone's Watching Over Me

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An old song, dont know the singer also - Wo shi bu shi ni zui shen ai de ren ( Am I the one you love the most? )

Am I the one you love the most?
Why you don’t say anything?
I’m sure the one holding is your cold hands,
Not even moving making me sad.
Am I the one you care the most?
Why you don’t say anything?
Whenever I need you the most,You just wont say anything

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Wo ai de ren (the person I love)

She is so happy,
But her way is way too cruel,
Making me love and hate her love,
So deep at the same time.

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Ai wo Hao ma? ( Can you love me ?)

*Tho Whole song* hehe

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五月天 (Mayday) - 天使(angel)

像孩子依赖著肩膀 (just like kids rely on shoulder)
像眼泪依赖著脸 (just like tears rely on faces )
庞你就像天使一样 ( you just like an angel)
给我依赖 ( let me to rely on )
给我力量 ( Giving me power )
像诗人依赖著月亮 ( just like "person who write poems" rely on the moon )
像海豚依赖海洋 ( like "Dont know sea wat" rely on sea )

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Dont know the singer's name -ku le ( cried )

Feel like to sit beside,
Feel to hear you to say,
Say that it’s worth for me
As we are still loving each other.
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What is loneliness?
What is trustiness?
And what is love,
What are you?
I don’t want to think anymore,
I am already fed up,
I don’t want to sing anymore,
I am already crying,
I don’t want to say anymore,
I am really crying........................

Unmeasureable?

Well, this blog is definitely make confusing to readers. As the matter of fact, I think there is no readers in my blog, so, there is no worry for me to write any rusbbish I want and that's the main reason why I create a blog site and the only advantage I got.

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Well, how am I going to start?
Last few days I've asked someone a pretty stupid question after some messy things happened.
I won't mention the question as it is a bit privacy I think.
But! The a part of answer will be "can't measure"

After some days of struggling, doing this and that, tried so hard for it and anything I can, I think I still don't change anything yet. In fact, I am already confusing in why I am doing those things =).
Perhaps changes are changes, only the mighty God who can changed it. That's the real point I've been so dissapointing.
Full of faith at 1st, it leaks little by little in each minute.
Courages are flying away to nowhere I couldn't find for it.
Disappointing filling up my mind covering the every single hope that I wished for.
Miracle? Huh~ I wish I can say "What the Fuck is that!"
However, I still hold for it.

Everytime while I was trying to build a brigde, you could easily broke it down in the next second.

What I wanna say is, it probably unmeasureable but it is already pretty obvious to answer my question. There is no need to measure. Just have a good look in the past and now.

I am tired. Perhaps I should just lay down and have a long long rest. Sorry that I can't run anymore..Leave me alone, and run towards what you are TRULY running for. It's not me I know. However, I can't stop my own very legs.

One day, I really hope you know what I am thinking. I thought I've told you. I thought you knew it!

The decisions are still yours.

From,
The One Who Loves You.

Last Friday~~

On 27th of July.....

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Today is Basil's (busss) birthday~~

And also the last day of my friend, Edwin to study in TAR College....

Note : Edwin is the one with orange T-shirt in the middle

After we had a not bad steamboat buffet at Talipon Restoran (till now I still wonder why they named it like that *sweat*), we had a cappucino flavor cake as celebrating Basil's birthday.

more like a burning cake *LOL*

Well, it's quite a nice night. After enjoying the cake, we started to take lots lots of picture as Edwin is going to leave tomorrow morning.

Note: the one who are taking picture with him now was once we misundertook him as Edwin's cousin.

Edwin was asking each of us to take one picture with him for memory.

Around 30 minutes later, Edwin and Basil were getting high and started to fool around..

First they do this..

Then they do THIS!!!!!

P/S : This might be rated as 18sx, so, please make sure you are already over 18 before you decide to scroll down.

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THEY ARE SO GAY THAT NIGHT!

Anyway, Happy Birthday Basil! Wish your dreams may come true.

As for Edwin, Gambade Ku Da Sai in you study..Which means "add oil" "add oil!"

It's silent tonight

It's so funny. Funny enough when I found that everytime while I was lonely and down and nowhere to "pour" things out from my heart, I would come to this blog. At first I thought I might not have to sign into this blog anymore as I have my own special place to keep everything in my heart but in fact, I was wrong. No, it has been different like before and there is way I could do to make the time reverse to the past. I've tried and I failed miserably and the result that came out with is I hurt the one I really love in my life.

Love ? How sweet it is ? How bitter could it be ? Or perhaps it is just a fake sweet that use to attract the kids ? God ..You are the only who I can call for everytime I am helpless.

"No! I want to company you", "ya? it is for you, just for you" , "Well, it feels to happy to be with you" *beep* "what are you doing there ? I am just calling for fun"..... Simples words, Simple actions warmed my heart up and it makes me feel loved. It made you feel, "ya, it's worth", "someone is waiting for you". You know what I mean?

Willing to push everythin aside, willing to do anything making you like the person she thinks it's worth to.

Yeah I knew it from the start but I guess I am not well prepared. In fact, at the first I thought there is no way for me to prepared. " Don't put too much hope, you will regret one day" , the sentence I've heard for thousands and thousands times. Come on, Liong Teck is the one who won't take advice, I guess. He believed only the one who walk into his heart. It made me feel, ...Defenceless.

Everytime when a cigaratte was lit, all I hope is the time would pass as fast as it could. Well, the world isn't spinning for me only and I know that! All I can do is hoping. Every person's time is runing but mine is crawling. Haha ^^

Everytime while I was away from my handphone, my heart will naturally get nervous "How if she call ?" Everytime while I can't get myself online, my heart will start to confuse "How is she today ? " But when everytime I get myself connected, all I got is dissapointed. All people got theirs' except for me. Busy myself up but at last I'd still end up on the chair alone. Damn..

All in my mind while looking at the pictures in my handphone is the song of Love Notes.

Hey, there is no hand I'd rather hold,

No one I'd rather share my dreams with.

Hey, there is no one who can hold,

My heart as tenderly as you.

Being with you is simply the best,

Way for me to spend my life,

I love you today,

And all of my tomorrows.

Being with you is simply the best,

Way for me to spend my life,

I miss you baby.

***I miss you***

*****YOU?*****

Full Moon Tonight

Looking at the Moon at the east slowly moving up upon the sky to the west. It's a full moon tonight. It's so amazing that it never look so beautiful like that before in my life. Or perhaps, I never bother to go and have a real good look on it since I came to this world. It really amazed me so much that it doesn't look how ugly it is when the astronaut landed on it. From my distance, it hides its ugliness pretty well I guess.

It is a good thing to do when you are not in your mood by watching at the moon. Quiet and so peacefully. Looking at it remind me of an old song by Terresa Teng which sounded like, "yue lian dai biao wo de xin" which means The Moon Represents My Heart. I wonder did the Moon did send the messages from my heart to her as well.

Looking the pictures inside my phone, my heart smiled along. Ow, how sweet that is. Her smile, her kisses, her everything suddenly popped out inside my very mind. What we did together and what we said to each other. Just everything. Is that call missing someone? If that is, I do miss her so badly. How I wish she's by myside.

What is the feeling that I am having now ?

Suddenly I feel like the world is rushing towards me and slammed me hard. I was stunned. Suddenly I feel like so many questions keep on rushing through my mind and keep on asking me "WHY?!" It never stop even for a second and I feel like my head gonna explode in any time.

"Oh God.." is the only two words I can say by now. Congratulations you just hit the spot! Bang! It's a damn bull eye!

What am I doing on the few hours ago ? What am I doing that for?! What am I saying that for?! What did I say in so long time? whY? Do they mean anything to you? Your words ? What's that mean? I get myself misunderstand again? What have I done?! What the hell on earth I did?! I am so confuse by now..so confuse!

Wow, you are good. Real good. Good Night to you too!

Thank you!

Few hours ago, I woke up and log into my friendster before I go to college to hang the presentation's things to my friend and I realize that my dear didn't go to school today!! Honestly, I was shock! However, sometime someone need to be lazy and I know that feeling very well as I am lazy at all the time.
I read my dear's blog with a topic of "Big thanks". Well, Liong Teck don't know how to read chinese so, he asked his dear to read the only topic for him. If I don't get it wrong, it sounds like "da gan xie" which mean big thanks!
Can you remember when is the last time you sincerely thank someone in your life? Someone who helped you and someone who support you all by yourside. I taught about that while I was on my way to college just now. So many person to thank in my life and I don't even bother to open my mouth to say these two words - THANK YOU!
First person I would like to thank is my super daddy. It had already been years since I am with him. Currently working in Australia, working so hard just to support my family and my studies. He is the best dad I ever knew who struggle so hard just for his beloved family. I love you, dad, I miss you and thank you so much!
Second will be my mum. Always give me call asking how I am doing here in Kuala Lumpur. Her careness is the warmest in the world and nothing can compared to it. Thanks you, MUM! I love you as well!
The third will be my both sisters of course. While I was a kid, I never felt that they care for me much. But now, I finally know that they do. I mean, yeah, they love their brothers and their brothers love them too. They helped a lot and care a lot in my studies too. Well, Thank you, my both my sisters.
My friends, of course. Alan, Tze Wen, Basil(Busss) and so on. Thank you for your support and for being my friends in my life.
The last but not least, my dear, Chui Ping. Her understanding and support means a world to me. Every action, every words from you mean a lot to me. I am so sorry if I did something wrong that hurt you but still, a big thank you for your understanding and believe, I love you!
So many to thank but those person who I mentioned are the espcially the person who I really want to say "Thank you!". Thank you so so much!