12 september 2007
Today is the day when an history happened in my life.
I've just lost my another half and I lost it unwillingly.
I had a afternoon session exam for today and right after the exam, I rushed out the hall and the first thing I did was to reach out for me handphone.
Well, it was all sent. Just, not replied.
Had another, and it was replied after all.
Obviously, it was not what I want and I was stunned when I read it.
I bear not to cry out as I was still at the public place, waiting for cab.
I can't stand still, so, I began to walk.
Without direction to no-where.
I just walked.
However, each step I took, everytime I breathed,
For the very first time, my tears fall without my notice in the public.
I kept on walking and walking.
I dont feel like going back.
I dont know what I want to do.
I just walk, on the roadside.
Things which I had been so difficultly defense these months had come to the end.
Brutally ended.
I just couldn't accept the fate and the reasons.
I was back home.
Couldnt imagine, I was walking all way long at the place I am not familiar way to home.
Opened the door, finally I was terribly burst into tears.
I cried and cried, cried and cried,
I tried to hold but I just cant stop.
Sitting at the corner like a dead puppet with a terrible face for hours and hours.
Like waiting for a fairy to appear and grant my wish.
The night fall, my tears are finally dried up.
I realize I had been crying for so long until the right side of my head started to ache.
The fairy just dont come, the miracle just wont happen.
Ouch, it still hurts. It pains a lot.
It does really feel like losing your another half.
It was cruel enough to ruin my life.
Somehow, I did blame God for being so unfair.
Why am I the only one who cry for it?
Why does He take my everything from me?
Why He just won't give me the courage to make the last call ?
You hate me, dont you?
I know you hate me. A lot.

When my world is about to lost..

**SiGH**

It's so hard to wait for time to pass.
Each minute is like living in hell.
Damn! I guess that is what it's like when your world is not around and when you know you are going to lose it already.
Can't sleep, can't read, can't think!
Tomorrow I still got exam need to go through.
Wish me good luck please...
It feels suck when you got to know how unworthy you are.
You words mean nothing to anyone.
When you say a lot, those are just rubbish.
Like I said, I've lost my world ...
I am still waiting for it to be back..
Unless my own world want to,
I am still worthless to do anything.
All I can do, is wait desperately.

Which character are you ?

Just now, I watched a drama titled "A New Life". Even though this is my 1st time to watch this drama ( plus LiOnGteCk don't really like to watch drama) , I was attached by the things happened inside.

It's about a guy who is a little bit dumb ( don't how to describe that kind of person ) and had a girlfriend who had an average look. He loves his girlfriend so much and yeah, he's willing to do anything for her. Every Sunday, whenever he is free, he will help his girlfriend in her shop. Because of his problem, it's hard for him get a job, so he worked as a curry-cooker.

Well, just like I said just now, he loves his girlfriend so much, so, he sticked to her so much. Their weekly activities were just 3 days movies a week and after that they will had duck-porridge. However, since her girlfriend changed her work, she began to change a lot. She started to yell at him, lie to him and started to feel that he is annoying and useless. From 3 days movies, they are now watch only 1 day movie in a week. Sometimes, they don't even come out together no matter how the guy asked the girl.

The guy didn't give up. He bought VCDs for her as the replacement of the movie they missed. He bought duck-porridge for her and bring those to her workplace. HOwever, all the things that he did for her, she doesn't even appreciate it at all. Instead, she yell and scold at him. No matter what, he didn't even complaint a word at all. He kept on finding reasons for her changes.

As the time got longer, the girl finally totally neglect the guy already. She can't even see him even though pass by him. At last, the guy knew that she was with other guy already...His heart broke into million pieces..

Actually do you all realize that most of the drama on TV do really reflect on our real life nowadays? It's not important either you are guys or girls. The importnat thing is which character are you in the real life. Either you are just a guinea pig or the princess who is love by a person who really love you. Or perhaps you might be the one who toturing your other half without your notice ?

Think of it..Haha...Enjoy ...

Everyone is happy without LiOnGtEcK~

Now, everyone is happy without me!
* Sad =( *

Let me tell you why...

My mum smiles because she don't have to send anymore money to me. Well, money is not everything but without money, you are definitely nothing. So, everyone smiles when they have money. So, she is happy!

My sisters smile because they don't have to waste anymore money on me especially on the Chinese New Year because I always ask them to buy new clothes and shoes for me. So, they smile because without me, they saved a lot of money to buy things they want.


My friends smile because I know they don't like me anymore. They didn't say because they know it's not a good manner to do so. I know my own bad attitude. So, if I disappear, they smile!
Monkeys smile!! They know if I disappear, there will be less one person in they world to snatch bananas from them. So, monkeys are happy without me.


Pigs smile because they know if I disappear, I won't ever eat roast pig anymore.


The dog smile because they know every night, there won't be anyone to hug them to sleep anymore as those could make them seems torturing.


Even the fish also smiles! I don't know why! They are just happy without me.


When those human and animals hate me and they are happy without me, I am sad. So, I am left all alone.
However, the worst and the most heart-broken thing is,..
Even the person I love the most in the world also smile if I am disappear in this world. There will be no one who keeps on messing her happy life anymore. So, she is happy without me..


Okay, now LiOnGtEck is totally neglected and sad. I am now totally left alone. He keeps away from his hand phone so that he will not disturb anyone anymore.

May be in his life, he can only make friends with snails.

He can only hug teddy instead of the person he love.

Hmmm....

LiOnGtEck Cry...... :-(

My another negative feeling!

It has been so confusing lately. I'm confused about the day and night. Confusing bout' the wrong or right. Guess, what? LiOnGtEck's lost again! Someone can just give me a hand and pull me out from this maze and definitely I will be very grateful with that. I can grant you happiness, if only there is still some left in my pocket. If it's empty, would you just pull me out from here please? Probably, I've used up all of those happiness already.

The feeling of loneliness is unimaginable. Sure, it's a negative one. It's so cold that every pieces of my heart are frozed into ices. My world is so messed up!!!

Trying so hard not to show any emotion on anyone. Even to the one I trust the most.

Sometimes, I really wonder a lot. Why do some people just can't listen to one who near them instead of believing the others' words ? No mattter how you tell them, they just wont listen but one sentences from the others they believe it like that's the only true or right thing!! Hey, evils are wandering in this world, some idiot could just say something and make your relationship to the worst but you still treat them like angels! Sucks!!

Human change according to the enviroment, experiences and etc. Some change through words by believing others idiot words!Some people can get fed up so easily, and changed with out giving you a warning. Just like putting you into a big maze and gettin' fed up to instruct you how to get the hell out from there after you failed several times. What's worst, they'll just leave you alone in the middle of the big maze.

Things happened in my life recently and I guess those will become one of the history which would change everything in my life. I mean everything! It's not wise to mention those here, but really feel like to find the one who I trust the most to talk to! But hey! There's only one and I can't do that. The histories are warning me everyday while I still could feel the pain every time my heart beats.

** The Sky Is Raining** (ignore this, outside the window are still with sun)

Hey, I bet most of the people when hear songs, they get attached by the lyrics. Liongteck hears songs recently. HAHA!

Hereby, I will show some lyrics I like which is alredy translated into english ^^
(liongteck dont know how to read chinese but hear chinese songs, not writing chinese but translated chinese in to english. Don't laugh when you know the songs but the meaning I am writing here is not the same as the original lyric of the song. Just treat it as , Liongteck thinks like tat ^^ ) Thank you!

****************************************
First of all, Gary (chao ge) - bei pan ( betray )

How can I say goodbye to the feeling of missing you..
You knew it more than me,
Still want me to say it clearly.
Love someone too much could boost someone braveness crazily.
I betrayed myself,
To complete your wishes.
…..
Heart,
Got a sentence to confess.
Me,
Except you who else can I talk to?
Just before you close up the door,
Please turn back and have a good look.
Those memories,
Are they still available?


*******************************
English song's by Hilary Duff - So yesterday

You can say you bored,
You can act real tough,
You can say you’re torn,
But I’ve heard enough,
Thank you! You made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear?
It is not gonna happen here.

P/S : and the whole songs of Someone's Watching Over Me

*******************************
An old song, dont know the singer also - Wo shi bu shi ni zui shen ai de ren ( Am I the one you love the most? )

Am I the one you love the most?
Why you don’t say anything?
I’m sure the one holding is your cold hands,
Not even moving making me sad.
Am I the one you care the most?
Why you don’t say anything?
Whenever I need you the most,You just wont say anything

********************************

Wo ai de ren (the person I love)

She is so happy,
But her way is way too cruel,
Making me love and hate her love,
So deep at the same time.

********************************

Ai wo Hao ma? ( Can you love me ?)

*Tho Whole song* hehe

********************************

五月天 (Mayday) - 天使(angel)

像孩子依赖著肩膀 (just like kids rely on shoulder)
像眼泪依赖著脸 (just like tears rely on faces )
庞你就像天使一样 ( you just like an angel)
给我依赖 ( let me to rely on )
给我力量 ( Giving me power )
像诗人依赖著月亮 ( just like "person who write poems" rely on the moon )
像海豚依赖海洋 ( like "Dont know sea wat" rely on sea )

********************************

Dont know the singer's name -ku le ( cried )

Feel like to sit beside,
Feel to hear you to say,
Say that it’s worth for me
As we are still loving each other.
.....................................

What is loneliness?
What is trustiness?
And what is love,
What are you?
I don’t want to think anymore,
I am already fed up,
I don’t want to sing anymore,
I am already crying,
I don’t want to say anymore,
I am really crying........................

Unmeasureable?

Well, this blog is definitely make confusing to readers. As the matter of fact, I think there is no readers in my blog, so, there is no worry for me to write any rusbbish I want and that's the main reason why I create a blog site and the only advantage I got.

***************************************************************************

Well, how am I going to start?
Last few days I've asked someone a pretty stupid question after some messy things happened.
I won't mention the question as it is a bit privacy I think.
But! The a part of answer will be "can't measure"

After some days of struggling, doing this and that, tried so hard for it and anything I can, I think I still don't change anything yet. In fact, I am already confusing in why I am doing those things =).
Perhaps changes are changes, only the mighty God who can changed it. That's the real point I've been so dissapointing.
Full of faith at 1st, it leaks little by little in each minute.
Courages are flying away to nowhere I couldn't find for it.
Disappointing filling up my mind covering the every single hope that I wished for.
Miracle? Huh~ I wish I can say "What the Fuck is that!"
However, I still hold for it.

Everytime while I was trying to build a brigde, you could easily broke it down in the next second.

What I wanna say is, it probably unmeasureable but it is already pretty obvious to answer my question. There is no need to measure. Just have a good look in the past and now.

I am tired. Perhaps I should just lay down and have a long long rest. Sorry that I can't run anymore..Leave me alone, and run towards what you are TRULY running for. It's not me I know. However, I can't stop my own very legs.

One day, I really hope you know what I am thinking. I thought I've told you. I thought you knew it!

The decisions are still yours.

From,
The One Who Loves You.

Last Friday~~

On 27th of July.....

**************************************************************
Today is Basil's (busss) birthday~~

And also the last day of my friend, Edwin to study in TAR College....

Note : Edwin is the one with orange T-shirt in the middle

After we had a not bad steamboat buffet at Talipon Restoran (till now I still wonder why they named it like that *sweat*), we had a cappucino flavor cake as celebrating Basil's birthday.

more like a burning cake *LOL*

Well, it's quite a nice night. After enjoying the cake, we started to take lots lots of picture as Edwin is going to leave tomorrow morning.

Note: the one who are taking picture with him now was once we misundertook him as Edwin's cousin.

Edwin was asking each of us to take one picture with him for memory.

Around 30 minutes later, Edwin and Basil were getting high and started to fool around..

First they do this..

Then they do THIS!!!!!

P/S : This might be rated as 18sx, so, please make sure you are already over 18 before you decide to scroll down.

***************

*************

***********

*********

*******

*****

***

*

THEY ARE SO GAY THAT NIGHT!

Anyway, Happy Birthday Basil! Wish your dreams may come true.

As for Edwin, Gambade Ku Da Sai in you study..Which means "add oil" "add oil!"