My day and teddy bear!!

Currently, in front of the laptop with a song from OneRepbulic - stop and stare..
I don't really have any mood for today..
Not going to say it here, I AM LAZY TO WRITE ABOUT IT!!
My new found style, run from it, don't face it, this can make you happpier,
Wuahaha...At least someone has proved it and I know it.
Urh, didn't sleep for yesterday..know what I am doing ??
DOTA (Defense of the Ancient)!!! AFTER Missing In Action for so long long time.

In case you people don't know what it is, it's a game where you control a hero then with another 4 team mates trying to defense your own base and break the enemies one.
I feel so.....satisfying!! haha..
Too bad the line in my hostel here is not suitable for any online game.
So, I stayed up whole night in my friends' house.
While he was sleeping, I am enjoying in "farming the creeps" and "killing other players".
One game after another.
If I didn't remember wrong, I stopped at 9.50am morning and it was the time when my friends were about to go for his class..
If not , sure still keep on playing one..Dota freak huh?
At least it's one of the place for me to release my bad mood plus forgetting everything.

Anyway, this is going to be another thing and I wish to introduce or write about it since long time ago already but I was lazy...so ...Hehe ..
Present to you my very 1st bear bear from myself ..

It is a 1st bear I ever have and it's from myself too.
I bought in Kuala Lumpur when I was there for my own convocation.
I still remember that day was when I sang K with my friends, then Charles and Tuck Seng company me walking around the Times Square.
Then Charles plan to buy a doll for his girl friend, Pui Yin as a gift for her graduation.
As he is looking for his, I found this bear bear. It looked so lonely on the cupboard.
And I just dont know why, I bought it.
And, and the funny part is Tuck Seng and Charles couldn't believe I really going to buy it until I paid for it at the counter. Haha..
It looked so pity what, I don't want it to be alone.
Okay, every night since the day, it sleeps with me even for tonight.
I told Jia Lun about it and he suggested me to give it a name.
So, I did so, but I forgot it!!! SHiiittt..My memory is really gettin from bad to worse.
Last night Jia Lun still made a joke saying that it's look at me and it's going to seal its name on my fore head while I am sleeping.
But guess what, I suddenly recall back what's the name I give to the bear bear already,
It's a meaningful one, where at 1st I planned to name it with the words that contain the letter "c", "p","t"..then it was too long,
SO, I NAMED IT, TEDDY PING~~ haha...next time I gonna get it a name tag, in case I forget again..
So, meet my Teddy Ping, it won't bite, you will even feel nice when hugging it ^^
Welcome to my world, Lovely Teddy PinG..

The Love Story Line..

Here's how the story goes...

1st of all, you are in love with her..
Then somehow, part of you feel that she does has the same feeling like it ..
It is just there is no chance to speak it out ..then one day ...

There it comes a hint ..Making you was like, I can't stand it anymore, I need to speak it to her..

It makes you..

Falling deeper and deeper in love..

But then one day, you can't hold it anymore and you flirt to her..told her what you feel towards her..

And you are finally accepted..You are in Love..

Since the day, almost every morning, the 1st message that you will be receiving is from her..

Greeting you Good Morning and both can't wait to see each other..

Trying the best to make each other smile,
Cry together if you found that she is sad....
Make yourself look like a fool..Just for her smile..

Telling each other..
No matter what or how you become, I will still love you ..




Sacrifing for her..
Never wish her to be hurt..
Protect her even though you know you might hurt yourself..



But then ...some days later..
When she got bored with all your loves..
She begin to ignore you ...



And at the end...
She left..
From the day on, the only wish you will be dying for is ..

I wish ...you would love me...

Waiting for a miracle..

That you know it will never come ....

Forever was once meant till the death for me..

But it seems I was wrong..

Forever is just a word..

It means till the day I don't love you anymore..

My Convocation Ceremony

On 13th of Jun 2008, I attended my own convocation ceremony..
It was a disaster =.=" ..
Ha ha,...let me tell you ,
If none of your family member or your friend or your girlfriend or boyfriend is going to attend your graduation ceremony,
Don't you ever attend or register for it!!
You know why?
Because after the ceremony, all of your graduated friends will go to look for their own families member or their friends,
And you will be left alone there =.=..
Walk here and there alone only, so pity ... uhhhh T-T..
Actually the purpose for me to register into this is to bring someone special to KL to play and to attend my ceremony one,
But things happened so, there won't be any chance of it already.
Then, I was thinking, I never attend these thing before, so, I will just give it a try lo..
How know....Haih ...
Anyway, I got some pictures of it ......Ha ha...

Before that, dont laugh ok?

I know I am ugly....

Picture of group 6 members~~

The time we took this picture, a lot of the cameraman come to take this picture of us too.Wah, it's really nice to be wanted even for few seconds.

I think this one is Group 4 one

The 2nd guy in the middle one is Jia Lun. He is the one who help me to collect my gown. If not, I think I wont be able to attend this ceremony already. THANK YOU JIA LUN!! YOU ARE SO NICE. BUT YOU'VE LOST A CHANCE TO STARBUCKS FROM ME!

Charles Tan, a very very nice friend to be with. Thanks to him to help me to put on the gown. It's impossible for you to put on it alone perfectly ...Charles, Thank you yea~!! Find you again when I go KL~!!

Me and Charles

This one is me with Sook Cheng (I wonder did I spell the wrong name or not) I know I know, 6 semesters as the classmate. But wei, I never try to remember the spelling of your people name leh, plus I bet I can't really remember the name of the all classmate also.. lol..

Me with Hui Qin (Group 4 ), she loves to sing K~!!

Haha, the only picture of me with the gown, UGLY right? I know.. But weird, I love to wear it!

Basil Bennet. We are friends since we are in primary school already. He graduated at the same time with me but he is taking the Diploma In Hotel Manganement one. Well, his convocation is not at the same day with me, I just wanna thank him in helping me to register for my graduation ceremony~ Haha...THANKS BUSSS~~

OW~ I wonder why, I start to miss my diploma life already ..
The DOTA life in WCG,
The nights that we never sleep because of the exam,
The Pan Mee at Tian Xia,
The wireless that slow like hell,
The room that messy like what also dont know one ..
But it's nice, isn't it ? haha..

My laptop

My laptop was dead since the day I came back from Sibu ( which is on last Sunday ).
So, it was like...1,2,3...4 days long!!!
4 days long of me without my laptop!
Wow, it's a miracle that I am still alive.
Haha~~
My laptop is just like me, functioning only when I want to!!
Well, I dont smash it, curse it or whatever harm that might occur to it.
I just let it be..Haha..
It's so rare for me to be so calm.
I just dont know why, I dont really care that much anymore, I just know that my laptop will soon recover sameday..plus,
I brought my PSP to here!! haha..
I live with it since my laptop was put to rest...
Playing the FINAL FANTASY TACTICS: THE WAR OF THE LIONS ,
To be honest, it's not as nice as I've played like the Final Fantasy 8 and 10,
But no way lo....who ask my laptop to sick at the time...
I dont know what kind of sickness is my laptop having..
It just wont go into the window ..it stuck at the ACER part..then then ...some words come out ..keep on repeating saying that what what media failure and bla bla bla ..
Anyone know what is the problem ?
Dont ask me to re-format la, I hate to back up the file...
Someday later I will post the picture up ok?
Ok for now, I dont know what to do already ..
OK, movie time ...BYE!!!

Update : Yesterday my friend, Gilbert asked me to google the problem. GUESS WHAT! I found the solution! But, it's for the media test failure part. So, I dont even know if my laptop will have the same problem again someday. Anyway, thanks to Gilbert and Google, my laptop is fine for now.

Failling..

It's amazingly to see how bright is the moon tonight.
Bright enough to torch up the whole city of cat here.
I wonder what kind of feeling me myself is having now.
I feel so ..undecided, unclam and ...lonely.
It's just...so uneasy.
I did a same thing at least ten times today.
I've got my answer but I don't feel satisfy or happy.
Looking out the big window watching how the amazing Moon is working at the top the sky.
If the moon could talk, how I wish I could ask..
"Dont you feel lonely tonight? I see no star company you today"
Hmm..With a cigaratte litted, but I don't smoke on it as many times as I usually did.
My mind just couldn't settle me down.
I feel so sleepy, but I am not.
I feel so uncomfortable but part of me not.
I thought I hide the feeling well from myself,
I thought I could open my arms, my mind and let everything go.
I thought I had decided not to make you appear in my very mind anymore.
Everytime I sense your presence are near, I would do anything to make it stop.
Well, I guess I fail today..
I just couldn 't suppress my thought and feeling today.
I change myself by force, and it requires a lots and sacrifice to do it..
It makes me a loner..

Sleeping..

Recently, I found myself sleep a lot.
For example like, today..
I had my morning class today at 9 am, I woke up at 8.15am,
After finished my class at 12.30pm, I went to The Spring to have my lunch.
Then I came back here, and I straight away go to sleep.
Very weird huh?
Usually when I am back from some where else, the 1st thing I will do I is clicking on this laptop.
Haha..
why?
I guess that's a way for me to stop thinking nonsense..
At least when I am dreaming, there is somebody company by myside.
But the bad thing is, everytime when I wake up, I could suddenly feel very very extremely lonely.
Well, I think that's the pros and cons.
To achieve something, you have to sacrifice something.
Anyway, just back from buying myself a dinner after class.
It's 9.34pm now, I guess after dinner, some movies, BED TIME!
WISH ME HAVE A NICE DREAM TONIGHT!!

Presence of yours..

I had ignore this blog for a very very long time,
Forget since when, but I know it's a very long time already.
Now, I am coming back to here for the same reason once again.
NO where to express out my feeling my pain,
No where to complain,
Definitely no one to company by myside and listen to me.
Few mins ago, I was still in a taxi on the way back to this college,
Few hours ago, in the plane towards here,
Yesterday, I was still in the Kuala Lumpur for my own convocation.
Well, I was all alone for my own convo, how much fun or enjoy can I be ?
There once in the past,I plan to bring her there but...things happen, isn't it ?
Just on the way back, she lingered through my mind and made me like...Haih ...
There were chances for me to online in KL to see how's she been nowadays through Fs but,..
I purposely missed out the chances and I tried to stay away from the internet explorer when I am in front of the computer or laptop.
It was just, I tried not to pull down my own feeling while I was there.
I smiled , tried to joke, laughed and doing all sort kind of stupid things,
But at the end , I still realized that, I was trying to cover my face with the mask.
Now, I am back to my own hostel, and ..yes, I see, I read, I carefully examined her Fs' profile,
She has her wonderful day in her new University, she's definitely happy and enjoy with her current life.
She's so in love, and feel so much freedom now.
Just dont know why I have the mixed feeling when I go to know this.
I suppose to be happy for her as well also right?
To be honest, I am not so happy, but I am not sad too ..
This feeling is just so....undescrible..
The other side of me feel like crying,
And another side of me thinking of no reason for me to cry and stopped the tears.
2 days ago, from a single to become a complicated one..
It really proved that, you feel like annoucing it but you just can't ..
Now I really feel like, it was really a big mistake for me to appear in your life..
Especially the part to be in love with you,
Grabbing a big part of chapter in your life.
I rather to be called as playboy, a bad guy,
But not the one, who make you sad in your life.
Am I being selfish to write these here too ?? ..
Can I assume that you are not going to read this blog anymore.
Perhaps the day may not come anyway, I bet you are not even going to read my msg too. =)
Reading the comments you left in the past, really really do make me think of you a lot...
I still can sincerely wish you happiness with your love one, leaving your world,
Just sometimes, I need some times to rest ...Sorry ..
If this is not too over, can I ask you to ease my pain for just few mins ?