I thought I've gained the immunity.
I thought with everything I did, I will be able to go through everything peacefully.
I dont need any glory but not the pain as well.
I thought The God must have answered my prayer by taking away the pain in exchange with the happiness.
But why, without any warning she appeared before my eyes??!!!!!!
Damn it!!
Confidence that I've been working so hard picked up little by little had been crashed into nothing at all.
I just, couldnt do anything.
No!! I can't cry.
With all my might I hold onto myself.
No!! I can't chase her from behind.
I promise myself not to take a single step forward anymore.
She's happy now and I should forget any possibility about me and her.
Damn it GOD!!
This hurts!
Why do I still feel my question would be answered one day later?
I've been so careful since that day but everything is ruined.
I should've reject my friends for the movie just now.
I should've lock myself in my own room today.
I really wonder what's in her mind when she saw me just now.
Must be feeling damn unlucky at that time.
or..
It's funny to see how pitiful I've become.
I tried, I swear to God I tried to shake away everything and laugh.
But I just couldn't make it right.
I don't want to sleep tonight.
I don't want to cry today.
I don't want these kind of feeling anymore.
I give up and I dont want to try anything anymore.
I just wanna sit here peacefully in the dark and hug myself.
Not doing anything.
Just to be as careful as I can, keeping my mind blank..........................................................
Letting the time pass by.
Do waht I should do, finish my job and leave everything behind, disappear.
If the time is not the cure.
All I can do is to escape from everything.
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2 comments:
Hey Leong Teck, the world doesn't end if a girl breaks a promise to you or doesn't reciprocate your love. She could mean everything to you and God intervenes to show that she's NOT everything. Heartbreak, painful, yes. But no pain no gain. God has made you free from your sentimental bondage to explore the world again with a new hope, a new vengeance, a new understanding that man proposes, God disposes. Cheer up and look at everyone with a smile again for you are no A NEW MAN.
Thanks for the advice whoever you are.
I am trying so hard here to look at this world the other way round.
I tried and failed several times already. Just this time, I really do consider to give up already. Whatever happen, that's all~ bad or good thing, I just wont cry or even smile for real anymore.
Anyway, still desperately rushing through all these. Thank you once again and do you mind telling me who are you?
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