It's amazing to know that a broken heart can be broke into more pieces again.
It amaze me even more when I got to know that it hurts as much as when my heart was first broken.
I've been driving around for some times just now.
It reminds me how I got this habit everytime I am down.
At 1st I thought today is going to be the best day among the CNY.
In fact, it was the worst.
More and more thinking I've made today.
More and more the SO CALLED ASSUMPTIONS I MADE!!!
The more pain I felt from the bottom of my heart.
DONT YOU DARE TO SAY YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL when you never ever experience it before.
If this a revenge on me, CONGRATULATIONS, you've done a really good job here.
There things are not meant to be shared with others.
Say I am selfish, say I am bad, I dont really care anymore.
Ever take just some minutes in your life to think , right now, Who Am I To You??
I remember a girl said to me, "You cant have both, choose only one of them, sadness or happiness".
A call can turn everything aroud 180 degrees in the next second.
I exist only when she is not around.
She exist in every second of your life.
Whenever we're together, you may leave for her.
Whenever you are together, ignorance is all I ever got.
Everything is too obivous even without the weighing scale.
But why .... ?
All I've ever left between us, is my only pride.
Even a puppet has its own limit.
Am I just ... a spare happiness....
If that is the case...
I rather choose the be lonely for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
2010 CNY? The worst ever.
Some people may love to shout when everything is not going as planned or expected.
Some may want to cry when everything is not right at all.
Some may have just sing out really loud draining every ounce of their energy when they are down.
For now, I am one of the person who love to do all of these.
I had my worst 1st day of the Chinese in my life ever.
Everything is very very wrong, not even a single thing goes as I expected.
Sigh.
I always love the atmosphere when all of my family members gather, working hard for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner.
With kids running around, adults chating among themselves waiting for the night to fall then we will all gather watching and enjoying the fire crackers.
Only laughter, none sadness.
Unfortunately, like I said, it's not as expected AT ALL.
This year, only half of the family members showed up and almost only 2 adults and kids watching for the fire crackers.
while the others doesnt come back and part of them went out for their own event without waiting for the 12am to strike.
Nothing really special happened, nothing worth to be mentioned,
I admit I do take lots of the pictures to post them here, but it seems doesnt worth as much as it looks at all.
So, I guess I will just forget it.
I was as tired as hell by yesterday and yet I still have to wait for my mum to really move herself inside the car for me to drive us way back to Sibu.
Hundreds of "yes" and yet I still have to waited for at least 30mins of her every "yes".
Well, I thought, it is Chinese New Year so, I will just have to bear with it.
Angriness may just bring only bad luck.
By the time I reached Sibu, I prepared myself, put on my new clothes by hoping to gather with my friends for some events.
In the end it turned out to be only one of my friend was able to company me while others are not free at all.
Well, I thought, it's normal, since it's just the 1st day of Chinese New Year.
By night time, something did happened that finally crushed me down.
I realised that dream always ended so quick and when you are slapped back to the reality, it is never a good thing.
Yesterday, I accidently walked into the dreamland.
It felt really really nice at first.
However by the time the story almost reach "happily ever after" part, I was pushed back to the reality.
Then I notice, it was ugly and never a real happiness.
I noticed there is always a wall seperated me from the happily ever after.
I noticed there is fate and not matter how you try, it just wont chance.
Then I know the path to the dreamland was just due to a word, guilt.
There is a girl who I always tell her that every girl deserve a flower on the valentine day.
I know it is just a reason for me to path a way to the dreamland.
I did prepared mine this year.
Unfortunately, the day ended before I delivered it.
So, I let fate to decide if the "gift" may reach its destination.
I just left it unattended.
Since, it doesnt mean a thing anymore...
Maybe I should've just throw it away .. =)
I hate the stubborness of my own.
Some may want to cry when everything is not right at all.
Some may have just sing out really loud draining every ounce of their energy when they are down.
For now, I am one of the person who love to do all of these.
I had my worst 1st day of the Chinese in my life ever.
Everything is very very wrong, not even a single thing goes as I expected.
Sigh.
I always love the atmosphere when all of my family members gather, working hard for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner.
With kids running around, adults chating among themselves waiting for the night to fall then we will all gather watching and enjoying the fire crackers.
Only laughter, none sadness.
Unfortunately, like I said, it's not as expected AT ALL.
This year, only half of the family members showed up and almost only 2 adults and kids watching for the fire crackers.
while the others doesnt come back and part of them went out for their own event without waiting for the 12am to strike.
Nothing really special happened, nothing worth to be mentioned,
I admit I do take lots of the pictures to post them here, but it seems doesnt worth as much as it looks at all.
So, I guess I will just forget it.
I was as tired as hell by yesterday and yet I still have to wait for my mum to really move herself inside the car for me to drive us way back to Sibu.
Hundreds of "yes" and yet I still have to waited for at least 30mins of her every "yes".
Well, I thought, it is Chinese New Year so, I will just have to bear with it.
Angriness may just bring only bad luck.
By the time I reached Sibu, I prepared myself, put on my new clothes by hoping to gather with my friends for some events.
In the end it turned out to be only one of my friend was able to company me while others are not free at all.
Well, I thought, it's normal, since it's just the 1st day of Chinese New Year.
By night time, something did happened that finally crushed me down.
I realised that dream always ended so quick and when you are slapped back to the reality, it is never a good thing.
Yesterday, I accidently walked into the dreamland.
It felt really really nice at first.
However by the time the story almost reach "happily ever after" part, I was pushed back to the reality.
Then I notice, it was ugly and never a real happiness.
I noticed there is always a wall seperated me from the happily ever after.
I noticed there is fate and not matter how you try, it just wont chance.
Then I know the path to the dreamland was just due to a word, guilt.
There is a girl who I always tell her that every girl deserve a flower on the valentine day.
I know it is just a reason for me to path a way to the dreamland.
I did prepared mine this year.
Unfortunately, the day ended before I delivered it.
So, I let fate to decide if the "gift" may reach its destination.
I just left it unattended.
Since, it doesnt mean a thing anymore...
Maybe I should've just throw it away .. =)
I hate the stubborness of my own.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Loves, Starbucks!
I love Starbucks, I always do.
One of my favourite place on the Earth.
I am not over-reacted or whatever-do-do, I mean it. Haha~
Most of the people think that Starbucks are only for those who are the caffeine lover since they serve only coffee but they are wrong! wrong! WRONG!!
Liongteck is not a caffeine lover but I still love Starbucks.
They do serve my favourite Chocolate Cream Chips and also the Java Chips.
With whip cream on top, they taste almost heavenly.
Yum Yum~
I always think that Starbucks is of the most relaxing place on Earth ever exist(at least for me it is).
I go Starbucks whenever my exam end to relieve my stress.
I go Starbucks whenever I've got nothing to do.
I go Starbucks whenever I feel like to.. LOL!!
But for me, the price for the drinks are little too expensive..
I guess that explain why my wallet is so dried up these days. =/
Most of the time, I went to Starbucks alone.
But not for today.
I almost forgot how nice it is when there's is a company even though you dont say a word.
With my favourite chocolate cream chips, some magazines, a pair of ears and those hyper-active girls, it had became one of my most enjoyable moment at the Starbucks.
Thank you ~ you girls made my day.
PS Remember, Kadang- Kadang, usiklah sendiri~ LOL
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Maybe boring ..just boring
There is a knot.
With all my might, I can only reach one side of it.
No matter how hard I pull, it just wont come off, cant untie it.
Because there is no force at the other side..
Sometimes, when you are alone, when you've got nothing to do at all,
With just a little feeling of missing, you can become so emotional.
These days, I forgot the purpose of me never want to close this blog.
I forgot the purpose I am so indulge in an online game.
It's not because it's fun..
Just because I can at least find some satisfaction in them.
Because it can get me through each day of my life.
I found myself love to ruin everything nice in my life.
I never know how to appreciate the moment but only care how if it ends.
Selfishness is one of the worst nature I have.
I begin to remind myself, how do I go through all these things.
Maybe I should just do what I do best..
Back to my Maple Story..lol..
With all my might, I can only reach one side of it.
No matter how hard I pull, it just wont come off, cant untie it.
Because there is no force at the other side..
Sometimes, when you are alone, when you've got nothing to do at all,
With just a little feeling of missing, you can become so emotional.
These days, I forgot the purpose of me never want to close this blog.
I forgot the purpose I am so indulge in an online game.
It's not because it's fun..
Just because I can at least find some satisfaction in them.
Because it can get me through each day of my life.
I found myself love to ruin everything nice in my life.
I never know how to appreciate the moment but only care how if it ends.
Selfishness is one of the worst nature I have.
I begin to remind myself, how do I go through all these things.
Maybe I should just do what I do best..
Back to my Maple Story..lol..
Friday, February 5, 2010
We do, We are the fools.
I've been sneezing a lot for today.
I don't think I'm getting fever or any disease since I don't feel sick at all.
However I do feel a little uncomfortable for a part of my body.
My heart.
It doesnt beat at the normal rate, it stops sometimes, it beats too fast for sometimes and for the other time, it pains like it's breaking apart.
I realise I do have some good parts of my own and that will be the worst weakness as well.
I think a lot.
My mind never stop working for 24/7.
Well, it's good thing since everyone say, a person who thinks often, may be a person who has the most intelligence.
But for me , it's bad because, you take account of every little action you made or been treated.
Especially, the things or person that you care for the most.
So, it's definitely a double-edge sword for me.
No one will know what are you trying to say or the message you are trying to send.
Sometimes, human dont speak directly.
They don't go and slap you when they hate you.
They won't tell you that he miss you so badly in your face when they see you.
They definitely wont say I still love you when they doubt that if you've already totally erased them out your heart.
Some may be brave in doing everything they want..
But some rather hide their courage because they are afraid of something else even more.
I notice that other than me, most of the human in this world are wearing a mask in their life.
Because we are afraid of others to know what we are thinking.
That's when ...we start to do foolish things just for the person we care....
Yesterday I've been introduced to a Korea song which I like the lyrics a lot.
IF you are asking that if I know how to read Korea language , then you are wrong... I dont.
It is just that it has been translated in the You tube.
Btw, no link, just lyrics. Enjoy.
Title: "I'm a Fool" / "A Song For the Fool"
Maybe this is because I am a fool.
It is okay even when I get hurt.
Even when others say that it is useless love.
It doesn't matter because I am a fool.
I was nice to you because I wanted to.
I was happy for just that if you smiled just once.
I'm happy with just your smile.
Until the day when her love will come.
I will just stay next to her like this.
Since it is a happy love for me just giving.
I dont want anything else from her.
I will be there whenever you reach out.
I will be there whenever you call out.
Without a change I will be there..
Because I love you..
Because I am a fool...
I don't think I'm getting fever or any disease since I don't feel sick at all.
However I do feel a little uncomfortable for a part of my body.
My heart.
It doesnt beat at the normal rate, it stops sometimes, it beats too fast for sometimes and for the other time, it pains like it's breaking apart.
I realise I do have some good parts of my own and that will be the worst weakness as well.
I think a lot.
My mind never stop working for 24/7.
Well, it's good thing since everyone say, a person who thinks often, may be a person who has the most intelligence.
But for me , it's bad because, you take account of every little action you made or been treated.
Especially, the things or person that you care for the most.
So, it's definitely a double-edge sword for me.
No one will know what are you trying to say or the message you are trying to send.
Sometimes, human dont speak directly.
They don't go and slap you when they hate you.
They won't tell you that he miss you so badly in your face when they see you.
They definitely wont say I still love you when they doubt that if you've already totally erased them out your heart.
Some may be brave in doing everything they want..
But some rather hide their courage because they are afraid of something else even more.
I notice that other than me, most of the human in this world are wearing a mask in their life.
Because we are afraid of others to know what we are thinking.
That's when ...we start to do foolish things just for the person we care....
Yesterday I've been introduced to a Korea song which I like the lyrics a lot.
IF you are asking that if I know how to read Korea language , then you are wrong... I dont.
It is just that it has been translated in the You tube.
Btw, no link, just lyrics. Enjoy.
Title: "I'm a Fool" / "A Song For the Fool"
Maybe this is because I am a fool.
It is okay even when I get hurt.
Even when others say that it is useless love.
It doesn't matter because I am a fool.
I was nice to you because I wanted to.
I was happy for just that if you smiled just once.
I'm happy with just your smile.
Until the day when her love will come.
I will just stay next to her like this.
Since it is a happy love for me just giving.
I dont want anything else from her.
I will be there whenever you reach out.
I will be there whenever you call out.
Without a change I will be there..
Because I love you..
Because I am a fool...
Out of breath
Okay, how should I start?
Hmmmm~~
I am little tired now.
Probably because of the jogging just now.
Yeah~ liongteck went JOGGING!! LOL!!!
Anyway, I do have this feeling which is a little diferrent than tired that I had before.
It started after I've done the jogging, ride onto my car ..
And the next thing was something happened that drained all of my energy away.
I even have a hard time to breath.
I tell you all what, this is very very weird.
I've never been this tired from any exercise I did before.
I feel so so sleepy, I lost my appetite, but I do feel like going around the city with winds blowing onto my face.
It would be nice if there is someone who can drive for me and I will be sitting on the next seat laying my face on the window enjoying the wind, LOL!
Anyway, I've decided to go out later.
I don't really feel like staying inside this room tonight.
Anywhere is good other than here. Away from my laptop. HAHA!!
So, I gotta go bath now, bye`~
PS I am pretty sure my message was sent and received. Now, I've been replied, and I guess I know already ^^ Those were all just .............
Hmmmm~~
I am little tired now.
Probably because of the jogging just now.
Yeah~ liongteck went JOGGING!! LOL!!!
Anyway, I do have this feeling which is a little diferrent than tired that I had before.
It started after I've done the jogging, ride onto my car ..
And the next thing was something happened that drained all of my energy away.
I even have a hard time to breath.
I tell you all what, this is very very weird.
I've never been this tired from any exercise I did before.
I feel so so sleepy, I lost my appetite, but I do feel like going around the city with winds blowing onto my face.
It would be nice if there is someone who can drive for me and I will be sitting on the next seat laying my face on the window enjoying the wind, LOL!
Anyway, I've decided to go out later.
I don't really feel like staying inside this room tonight.
Anywhere is good other than here. Away from my laptop. HAHA!!
So, I gotta go bath now, bye`~
PS I am pretty sure my message was sent and received. Now, I've been replied, and I guess I know already ^^ Those were all just .............
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dont lose control of myself
What've I done?
What am I thinking???!!
I must've knocked my head so hard for the past few days for thinking like this.
I should've know it's not true and it's not what I am thinking.
Grow up liongteck..
Grow up by learning!!
Dont try to do anything wrong ... =(
Dont even THINK about it...
I should have done this since last Sunday..
*Knock knock* on my head and *slap slap* at my face. LOL!
To be honest, I dont really have the mood to joke =(
Sorry guys
What am I thinking???!!
I must've knocked my head so hard for the past few days for thinking like this.
I should've know it's not true and it's not what I am thinking.
Grow up liongteck..
Grow up by learning!!
Dont try to do anything wrong ... =(
Dont even THINK about it...
I should have done this since last Sunday..
*Knock knock* on my head and *slap slap* at my face. LOL!
To be honest, I dont really have the mood to joke =(
Sorry guys
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