2010 CNY? The worst ever.

Some people may love to shout when everything is not going as planned or expected.
Some may want to cry when everything is not right at all.
Some may have just sing out really loud draining every ounce of their energy when they are down.
For now, I am one of the person who love to do all of these.

I had my worst 1st day of the Chinese in my life ever.
Everything is very very wrong, not even a single thing goes as I expected.
Sigh.

I always love the atmosphere when all of my family members gather, working hard for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner.
With kids running around, adults chating among themselves waiting for the night to fall then we will all gather watching and enjoying the fire crackers.
Only laughter, none sadness.

Unfortunately, like I said, it's not as expected AT ALL.
This year, only half of the family members showed up and almost only 2 adults and kids watching for the fire crackers.
while the others doesnt come back and part of them went out for their own event without waiting for the 12am to strike.
Nothing really special happened, nothing worth to be mentioned,
I admit I do take lots of the pictures to post them here, but it seems doesnt worth as much as it looks at all.
So, I guess I will just forget it.

I was as tired as hell by yesterday and yet I still have to wait for my mum to really move herself inside the car for me to drive us way back to Sibu.
Hundreds of "yes" and yet I still have to waited for at least 30mins of her every "yes".
Well, I thought, it is Chinese New Year so, I will just have to bear with it.
Angriness may just bring only bad luck.

By the time I reached Sibu, I prepared myself, put on my new clothes by hoping to gather with my friends for some events.
In the end it turned out to be only one of my friend was able to company me while others are not free at all.
Well, I thought, it's normal, since it's just the 1st day of Chinese New Year.

By night time, something did happened that finally crushed me down.
I realised that dream always ended so quick and when you are slapped back to the reality, it is never a good thing.
Yesterday, I accidently walked into the dreamland.
It felt really really nice at first.
However by the time the story almost reach "happily ever after" part, I was pushed back to the reality.
Then I notice, it was ugly and never a real happiness.
I noticed there is always a wall seperated me from the happily ever after.
I noticed there is fate and not matter how you try, it just wont chance.
Then I know the path to the dreamland was just due to a word, guilt.

There is a girl who I always tell her that every girl deserve a flower on the valentine day.
I know it is just a reason for me to path a way to the dreamland.
I did prepared mine this year.
Unfortunately, the day ended before I delivered it.
So, I let fate to decide if the "gift" may reach its destination.
I just left it unattended.
Since, it doesnt mean a thing anymore...
Maybe I should've just throw it away .. =)

I hate the stubborness of my own.