liongteck's blog

12 september 2007
Today is the day when an history happened in my life.
I've just lost my another half and I lost it unwillingly.
I had a afternoon session exam for today and right after the exam, I rushed out the hall and the first thing I did was to reach out for me handphone.
Well, it was all sent. Just, not replied.
Had another, and it was replied after all.
Obviously, it was not what I want and I was stunned when I read it.
I bear not to cry out as I was still at the public place, waiting for cab.
I can't stand still, so, I began to walk.
Without direction to no-where.
I just walked.
However, each step I took, everytime I breathed,
For the very first time, my tears fall without my notice in the public.
I kept on walking and walking.
I dont feel like going back.
I dont know what I want to do.
I just walk, on the roadside.
Things which I had been so difficultly defense these months had come to the end.
Brutally ended.
I just couldn't accept the fate and the reasons.
I was back home.
Couldnt imagine, I was walking all way long at the place I am not familiar way to home.
Opened the door, finally I was terribly burst into tears.
I cried and cried, cried and cried,
I tried to hold but I just cant stop.
Sitting at the corner like a dead puppet with a terrible face for hours and hours.
Like waiting for a fairy to appear and grant my wish.
The night fall, my tears are finally dried up.
I realize I had been crying for so long until the right side of my head started to ache.
The fairy just dont come, the miracle just wont happen.
Ouch, it still hurts. It pains a lot.
It does really feel like losing your another half.
It was cruel enough to ruin my life.
Somehow, I did blame God for being so unfair.
Why am I the only one who cry for it?
Why does He take my everything from me?
Why He just won't give me the courage to make the last call ?
You hate me, dont you?
I know you hate me. A lot.