A steel through the heart

How should I start?
Hmmm...
Weird, I suppose to have lots of things to write but somehow.. I can't think of any idea to start.
Or I should say how am I going to write so that I won't be regret for the rest of my life.
Remember the thing I said about "I don't care about anything anymore" thing?
I found that it's really hard to achieve it.
Especially when you got to know there is someone you can't hurt.

I've been in days like hell for the past two weeks.
But when I took sometimes to think about it.. I can't really sure what makes me think like this.
And when the weeks ended, by the time I thought it is over, BANG! Something I saw makes me wanna put down my everything and leave this world..for good maybe.
I can't say what it's here but I really do feel the pierce in heart.
With the current situation, it's an obvious slap on my face telling me what to do.

Perhaps not everything you waited what you long for, even things you hope and work hard for may comes to you.
Not every flower you watered may bloom in the end.

Waiting ain't easy, especially when there's thing you miss for so much but the thing won't come to you
like when you start to dig, in the end you realized the treasure have already been snatched away by someone else leaving the only box.