Unexpected

Honestly I didn't really expect her to poped up in my mind so much tonight.
When I say didn't expect, it means I was totally unprepared which is a bad thing and the reason that lead me to here once again.

It started when my friend asked me to go for the "old cow vs tender grass movie".
Evryone who had already watched the movie should know that the movie was about the beautiful love stories that make you tears and mucus from nose.
Actually I don't really hate those love stories or movies.
It is just that watching those kind of movies remind me a lot her.
"How nice if they are me and you" bla bla bla...
To make thing worst, even though it was a late movie, there were still a lot of couple watching the movie including my friends. =/ hmmm...

"Alright", I thought, " I guess when I'm back, I will just maple a little before go to bed. This should do some distraction"
However, ... You see when I was back to Sibu last to time, I brought over a radio clock with me here. Since then, whenever I am back to my room, I will just on the radio to break the silentness in my room and as well to find some new songs to listen to.
But tonight, there's not a single new song in the air.
Instead, there are only those slow and sad songs and almost all of them make me remind about the past of me and her.
Some songs are taboo to me and they were all aired. =.="

In the end, I am here. Duhhh....
Don't ask me why, I don't know me myself as well.
Maybe I am just hoping after writing evrything in here, it might ease my heart a little.
A little would be enough since the desperate person can't be choosy isn't it?
Or...
Could this be a way for me to say " I miss you"
to ask " sometime, do you ever miss me more you should since that day? If yes, what will you do?"

you know, everytime when I think about you and her, it reminds me of how happy you are now.
That's what encourage me to push myself as far as I could from you.