It's silent tonight

It's so funny. Funny enough when I found that everytime while I was lonely and down and nowhere to "pour" things out from my heart, I would come to this blog. At first I thought I might not have to sign into this blog anymore as I have my own special place to keep everything in my heart but in fact, I was wrong. No, it has been different like before and there is way I could do to make the time reverse to the past. I've tried and I failed miserably and the result that came out with is I hurt the one I really love in my life.

Love ? How sweet it is ? How bitter could it be ? Or perhaps it is just a fake sweet that use to attract the kids ? God ..You are the only who I can call for everytime I am helpless.

"No! I want to company you", "ya? it is for you, just for you" , "Well, it feels to happy to be with you" *beep* "what are you doing there ? I am just calling for fun"..... Simples words, Simple actions warmed my heart up and it makes me feel loved. It made you feel, "ya, it's worth", "someone is waiting for you". You know what I mean?

Willing to push everythin aside, willing to do anything making you like the person she thinks it's worth to.

Yeah I knew it from the start but I guess I am not well prepared. In fact, at the first I thought there is no way for me to prepared. " Don't put too much hope, you will regret one day" , the sentence I've heard for thousands and thousands times. Come on, Liong Teck is the one who won't take advice, I guess. He believed only the one who walk into his heart. It made me feel, ...Defenceless.

Everytime when a cigaratte was lit, all I hope is the time would pass as fast as it could. Well, the world isn't spinning for me only and I know that! All I can do is hoping. Every person's time is runing but mine is crawling. Haha ^^

Everytime while I was away from my handphone, my heart will naturally get nervous "How if she call ?" Everytime while I can't get myself online, my heart will start to confuse "How is she today ? " But when everytime I get myself connected, all I got is dissapointed. All people got theirs' except for me. Busy myself up but at last I'd still end up on the chair alone. Damn..

All in my mind while looking at the pictures in my handphone is the song of Love Notes.

Hey, there is no hand I'd rather hold,

No one I'd rather share my dreams with.

Hey, there is no one who can hold,

My heart as tenderly as you.

Being with you is simply the best,

Way for me to spend my life,

I love you today,

And all of my tomorrows.

Being with you is simply the best,

Way for me to spend my life,

I miss you baby.

***I miss you***

*****YOU?*****

Full Moon Tonight

Looking at the Moon at the east slowly moving up upon the sky to the west. It's a full moon tonight. It's so amazing that it never look so beautiful like that before in my life. Or perhaps, I never bother to go and have a real good look on it since I came to this world. It really amazed me so much that it doesn't look how ugly it is when the astronaut landed on it. From my distance, it hides its ugliness pretty well I guess.

It is a good thing to do when you are not in your mood by watching at the moon. Quiet and so peacefully. Looking at it remind me of an old song by Terresa Teng which sounded like, "yue lian dai biao wo de xin" which means The Moon Represents My Heart. I wonder did the Moon did send the messages from my heart to her as well.

Looking the pictures inside my phone, my heart smiled along. Ow, how sweet that is. Her smile, her kisses, her everything suddenly popped out inside my very mind. What we did together and what we said to each other. Just everything. Is that call missing someone? If that is, I do miss her so badly. How I wish she's by myside.

What is the feeling that I am having now ?

Suddenly I feel like the world is rushing towards me and slammed me hard. I was stunned. Suddenly I feel like so many questions keep on rushing through my mind and keep on asking me "WHY?!" It never stop even for a second and I feel like my head gonna explode in any time.

"Oh God.." is the only two words I can say by now. Congratulations you just hit the spot! Bang! It's a damn bull eye!

What am I doing on the few hours ago ? What am I doing that for?! What am I saying that for?! What did I say in so long time? whY? Do they mean anything to you? Your words ? What's that mean? I get myself misunderstand again? What have I done?! What the hell on earth I did?! I am so confuse by now..so confuse!

Wow, you are good. Real good. Good Night to you too!

Thank you!

Few hours ago, I woke up and log into my friendster before I go to college to hang the presentation's things to my friend and I realize that my dear didn't go to school today!! Honestly, I was shock! However, sometime someone need to be lazy and I know that feeling very well as I am lazy at all the time.
I read my dear's blog with a topic of "Big thanks". Well, Liong Teck don't know how to read chinese so, he asked his dear to read the only topic for him. If I don't get it wrong, it sounds like "da gan xie" which mean big thanks!
Can you remember when is the last time you sincerely thank someone in your life? Someone who helped you and someone who support you all by yourside. I taught about that while I was on my way to college just now. So many person to thank in my life and I don't even bother to open my mouth to say these two words - THANK YOU!
First person I would like to thank is my super daddy. It had already been years since I am with him. Currently working in Australia, working so hard just to support my family and my studies. He is the best dad I ever knew who struggle so hard just for his beloved family. I love you, dad, I miss you and thank you so much!
Second will be my mum. Always give me call asking how I am doing here in Kuala Lumpur. Her careness is the warmest in the world and nothing can compared to it. Thanks you, MUM! I love you as well!
The third will be my both sisters of course. While I was a kid, I never felt that they care for me much. But now, I finally know that they do. I mean, yeah, they love their brothers and their brothers love them too. They helped a lot and care a lot in my studies too. Well, Thank you, my both my sisters.
My friends, of course. Alan, Tze Wen, Basil(Busss) and so on. Thank you for your support and for being my friends in my life.
The last but not least, my dear, Chui Ping. Her understanding and support means a world to me. Every action, every words from you mean a lot to me. I am so sorry if I did something wrong that hurt you but still, a big thank you for your understanding and believe, I love you!
So many to thank but those person who I mentioned are the espcially the person who I really want to say "Thank you!". Thank you so so much!