Assure Me a Little

I am like a child who was promised a bedtime story tale by his mother tonight.
Since he knows how busy his mother will be, so he waited patiently on the bed with books to choose for her mother to read for him tonight.
However, no matter how long he waited, his mother just won’t show up in his room.
Afraid of creating disturbance to his mother, he waited and waited.
In the end, he slept with the books on his hands, with the doors and the lights on expecting that his mother would come.
By the time he woke up in the next few hours, with great disappointment, he realized that her mother never even come in for his tale.
The lights were still on and the doors were still widely opened.
And still, he holds the same books in his hands.
Wondering if it is his mother doesn’t like to tell him the story or he was forgotten.
The poor boy knows he would never know the stories inside the books since he will not ask the same questions from his mother anymore.
It’s not because he didn’t dare to.
It’s because he’s afraid that if he ask her again, her mother would tend to forget him or hate him even more.
With hopes that his mother would come in one day on her own for his bed time story, he hugs the books every night while he is sleeping, even though, he knows it is almost impossible to happen.

-Your words aren’t promises-
They are assurances.
I am sure that I belief in them.
And with those assurances, I can assure that I am still in the safe zone.
But if they are broken, you’ll lose my trusts.

So, I am in love with your smiles.
If I am not the source of your happiness, I wonder, will it be the best option for me to leave you at the other side.

I just thought I will be okay at first, but in fact, I am still not.