What's in the mind?

How am I going to get through my day today?
That’s the very first question I’ve been asking myself as I opened my eyes on the bed.
Well, I can sleep through the whole day or re-watching all the animes or movies.
If there’s an internet line here, I’m sure I would be Mapling my day off.
But the fact is, I don’t.
So, I tried the 1st option which is to sleep.
Mm, it worked for not more than 1 hour and I got frustrated.
Probably the alcohol doesn’t work anymore.
So I tried the later one and I found that I can almost remember every single word of the characters is going to say. SHIT HUH?!!!

I grabbed my Ipod, my wallet, my hand phone and the keys; changed my clothes and head to the nearby park for a jog.
Before, I would always go for a jogging to release my tension or whenever I was down by hoping that I could tired me off to death so that I could sleep at night.
But I forget since when, the spell seems to be losing the effect.
So this time I’m going to jog with every single ounce of my energy; even by walking I am going to use every tiny-biny of them off.
With the songs played in my ears, somehow I got even down that I expected.

Maybe I got way too into the songs, I found myself was in tears that I thought suppose to dried up since yesterday.
Well, that was still ok, since I don’t think anyone would found out due to the massive sweat I had on my face.

At the moment I was thinking, what I should I do or say to you tomorrow; the day you will fly here again.
Every sentence seems like a trap.
I don’t feel like making you uneasy.
But I think we really do need to clear this thing out, for good.

You know,
I seem to have floating around for a long time.
Trying so hard to kill the pain since the day you ignored me.
I think I’ve been to the place which seems to be for lovers; standing among them trying to look for some for my own.
Do you know that there are actually a lot of happy couples exist in this city?
They walked non-stop passing by me.
I am now standing under the sky you couldn’t see, watching the most exciting movie feels like I’m carrying the whole world’s loneliness.
Trying to keep the promise you never know.

Maybe I shouldn’t have followed the pace of yours who loves instant happiness for just a moment.
I tried so hard to make myself to get off the track that we had gone through together.
But no matter how hard I push and pull; I still couldn’t get myself out of the zone.
It seems to be most of the time I was alone to fight for the forever of our love.
Until today, I am still alone, testing my own limit.

I was wondering of why I always think that there must some kind of kinder excuses.
But almost all the time I tried, the outcomes are always unexpected.
Honestly, sometimes I am hoping to be just like you.
Let me have a day of your happiness.
Trying to understand how you feel, with lots of people around you all the time.
As the loneliness never exist.

I looked myself in the mirror and found that there are lots of words in my heart can’t be said.
Wondering when the day is for me to able to release them.
What kind of expression I should show?
How should I express them?

As I am growing up, I found that this world is changing all the times and you are too.
Sweet words don’t seem to be as sweet as before anymore.
Everything about me is not as important as before.
Remembering the day that you care for our love a lot, that was the most beautiful, the most genuine happiness I ever felt in my life.
Sometimes I was thinking, am I being too naïve if I ask,
“Can I experience one more time the feeling of you do really care for me till the day you want me to leave?”

Sometimes I do think you are just acting stupid or else it would mean that you really don’t care anymore.
Silence is always the answer you gave.
Somehow I should’ve told you waiting for you has never been an easy job for me.
It’s true that I really don’t know how to express myself.
All I know when you are truly in love, you might end up being the one who got hurt the most.
I also know there are many ways of loving a person.
One of them is granting her the freedom or sincerely blessing them from heart.
ARR!! Who knows how hurtful it would be of sending of his loves one?
I will be the 1st who raise my hand.

I could still feel the scent of your kiss.
The shadow of yours sitting besides holding my cold freezing hand.

Some people are just that easy to fall in love and forgetting them by just clicking their fingers.

Listening to the song titled “HAO XIANG HAO HAO AI NI” remind me of the last song you sang on my last and the only b’day with you by my side.
I don’t care is it for me or her, I think I would just selfishly treat it as you are singing the song just for me.
Since I know you seem to almost cry every time when you heard and sing the song.
I know; I just can’t say it out for fear that; it’s not because of me.

There it goes; liongteck is emo-ing once again when he knows he is not supposing to.